May 29 2008
As aviation fuel prices continue to rise several air carriers have launched crash programs to search for alternatives and cut costs.
There were high hopes for one experimental program in which Jumbos were allowed to graze for their sustenance.
The experiment started out extremely well and a sense of near euphoria set in as Wall Street began to smell green.
Apr 22 2008
I knew it would come to this one day, because one side was so stubborn and the other side was feeling rejected. Maybe this rift can be filled one day, but right now, there is only pain and hurt. Makes one wonder how it all came down to this.
That’s right, al-Qaida and Iran have irreconcilable differences, they are tearing their Axis of Evil apart.
http://www.breitbart.com/artic…
The increasing enmity toward Iran is a notable change of rhetoric from al-Zawahri, who in the past rarely mentioned the country-apparently in a hopes he would be able to forge some sort of understanding with Tehran based on their common rivalry with the United States. Iran has long sought to distance itself from al-Qaida.
“Al-Zawahri wanted to work with Iran, but he’s deeply disappointed that Iran has not cooperated with al-Qaida,” said Rohan Gunaratna, a terrorism expert and author of “Inside al-Qaida: The Global Network of Terror.”
So now, al-Zawahri “wants to appeal to the anti-Shiite, anti-Iran sentiments in the Arab and Muslim world,” said Gunaratna, head of the International Center for Political Violence and Terrorism Research in Singapore.
Al-Zawahri appeared intent on exploiting widespread worry in the Arab world over Iran’s influence, particularly in Iraq, to garner support for al-Qaida. At the same time, he sought to denigrate Iran’s ally Hezbollah, which has gained some popularity even among Sunnis in the region for its fight against Israel.
But in many of his answers, al-Zawahri went out of his way to criticize Iran. He said the Iraqi insurgent umbrella group led by al- Qaida, called the Islamic State of Iraq, is “the primary force opposing the Crusaders (the United States) and challenging Iranian ambitions” in Iraq.
Great, al-Zawahri plays the race card. Way to turn the Arabs against the Persians, asshole. This Jihad was suppose to be about ideas and policies, but here al-Zawahri goes back to the terrorism of old.
“Iran’s aim here is also clear-to cover up its involvement with America in invading the homes of Muslims in Afghanistan and Iraq,” he added. Iran cooperated with the United States in the 2001 U.S. assault on Afghanistan that toppled al-Qaida’s allies, the Taliban.
This campaign of dirty tricks has to end, you don’t go into Jihad as a people divided. You don’t see Iran bringing up Osama’s playboy youth or compassionate sane cleric.
Iran has never been in bed with America, while it is well know Osama was. Do you see Iran making obscure internet videos about that?
No. Because they are against tearing this party apart.
The rhetoric is a stark change for al-Zawahri, who in the past did not seek to exploit Shiite-Sunni tensions. When the former head of al- Qaida in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was waging a campaign of suicide bombings against Shiites in Iraq, al-Zawahri sent messages telling him to stop, fearing it would hurt al-Qaida’s image.
This just goes to show al-Zawahri will stop at nothing to win this thing. He will flipflop, he will lie and he will ruin other members of the Axis of Evil for his own entitlement.
This was suppose to be a different Jihad, a Jihad about ideas. About policy. A Jihad where fanatical Muslim could walk hand in hand with other fanatical Muslims, regardless of sects, setting off each other’s suicide belts, showing the world what a terrorist party united can do.
al-Zawahri has ruined that hope, which is why he is the real Great Satan.
Apr 16 2008
Very exciting times here at the the bustling blog offices!
Last night, yours-truly opened the front door to find a phalanx of high-powered corporate executives in even HIGHER powered suits standing expectantly on my stoop.
Well, these executives wined and dined and seventy-two’d me (that’s three better then sixty-nine) and as the caviar and truffles settled in my befattened tummy… I made the morally difficult decision to accept corporate sponsorship for my ongoing efforts.
Now, I understand how you might worry that the influence of multinational conglomerates (specifically the bags of cash, the bright red porsche, and the women of extremely low morals) might change the very nature of this blog, but let me tell you… NAY, PROMISE… as sure as the delicious Whopper™ I’m eating has a third less fat than the Big Mac… I CANNOT be corrupted!
Apr 14 2008
…when I failed to mention that, along with you, I was also dating five other women, three of them pregnant via me, two close relatives (your sister is SO much hotter than I first thought), and my wife of eighteen years. See, though nothing I said was accurate, I was simply employing enhanced truth-telling techniques, which, apparently, President George Bush approved from the oval office!
Apr 03 2008
In the last couple of years, money and power sure have translated into sex when it comes to our National Political and Religious figures.
First we had Mark (Underage Page) Foley. I don’t know if he paid anyone anything, but it was certainly his undoing in the end. He turned the page on his Congressional career, so to speak.
Next up? President Bush’s spiritual advisor, Reverend Ted Haggard.
While serving as President of the National Association of Evangelicals, Ted was outed by a male prostitute for snorting meth and having gay sex. Ted then resigned his “position” as we all know.
After spending time in teh Gay-hab, three weeks of intensive counseling, the Rev. declared that he was now completely hetrosexual. The team working those three weeks with Haggard are not unlike Professional Golfers. Those guys are GOOD!
Mar 24 2008
or The Really Real Reason Why ’08 Is the Most Important Election Ever
I’ve been around this big orange block long enough to know that writing a conspiracy-theory diary ain’t a real good idea if you’re not hungry for donuts, but some things…well, they may be out on the edge of non-paranoid discourse, but don’t really fall under the category of “conspiracy.” I’ve scoured the FAQ for any mention of “prophecy,” for example, and have found neither reference nor prohibition. That makes me glad, because it’s to the arcane world of divination that I must now turn: it falls to me, it seems – your resident historioranter-cum-Cassandra – to alert our community to the most important hitherto-unmentioned aspect of the job facing whoever is elected in November.
The person we place in the White House this year will be the one sitting there, either as a lame duck or a president-re-elect, on December 21st, 2012. This has special significance, since a great many prophecies seem to converge on that particular day – it’s been slated to be the End of the World by seers from Ancient Mexico to Renaissance France.
In short, the next President will be in office when life as we know it comes to an end.
Mar 21 2008
1:15 PM: Write title, “Liveblogging this Essay”. Consider whether it’s eye-catching enough. Decide on “Liveblogging the Liveblog of This Live Essay” to give it a “what-the-fuck-is-dude-talking about” effect.
2:16 PM Smile. Take a long deep breath and congratulate self. Eat two Whatchamacallit bars as a reward for a job well done.
2:21 PM: Return to intro, crafting joke with either “platypus” or “marsupial” as punchline. Vacillate… platypus… marsupial… marsupial… platypus. Ditch both in favor of “Sea Cucumber Salad”.
Mar 18 2008
I know on a day like today one should say something brilliant or witty or insightful on Obama’s speech, but I’ve committed to be the class clown even on heady days and so I offer up my darkest moment of political fatherhood…
With that out of the way…
Mar 16 2008
first my apologies if things are spellled wrong or if there are tipos, but i’m on the floor in the hall closet, an umbrella handle digging into my back, a string of garlic around my neck, typing as faast as i can, because… i’ve discovered something tonight… something horrrible and unthinkable… and i’m afraid if i go public with it… they’ll hunt me down and kill me.
my friends… WE ARE NOT ALONE.
Feb 10 2008
cross posted from Sancho Press http://sanchopress.com/frontPa…
Trivia question of the day. (answer below the fold) — What is the European Union’s equivalent to the U.S. and Canada’s 911 emergency telphone number?
Word of the day. (definition below the fold) — Lief
Quote of the day. — “Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?” Steven Wright
Common misconception. — Buttons were invented as fasteners for clothing — Buttons were originally nothing more than ornamentation sewn onto clothing. The first may be traced back to 2,000 BC. and even in antiquity. Otherwise plain togas and tunics were ornamented with sewn in buttons. It was only about AD 1300 that the idea arose of using buttons as fasteners. The immediate result was “button mania”. Many pieces of clothing were inundated with hundreds and even thousands of buttons, and they all needed to be buttoned.
Useless information. — The busiest stretch of highway in the country is New York’s George Washington bridge.
Bad President/Bushisms. — “It’s in our country’s interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm’s way”. 4/28/2005
Feb 07 2008
Cross posted from Sancho Press. http://sanchopress.com/frontPa…
Trivia question of the day. (answer below the fold) — In what sport are you likely to see a flying mare?
Word of the day. (definition below the fold) — Squalid
Quote of the day. — “In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.”
Miguel de Cervantes
Common misconception. — George Washington was the first President — John Hanson had the privilege. 8 years before the constitution was adopted, the United States existed under the Articles of Confederation. In 1781 John Hanson was elected by the Congress as the President of the United States. He didn’t have the same powers as later Presidents and only served for one year, but he was the firs official President.
Useless information. — In Tibet, some women have special metal instruments used for picking their noses.
Bad President/Bushisms. — 4/15/05 – “Part of the facts is understanding we have a problem, and part of the facts is what you’re going to do about it.”