Obama tells supporters he still believes in an America where anything is possible, once we ditch that good-for-nothing Nate. |
‘Yes We Can, Except Nate Walsh,’ Obama Says
COLUMBIA, SC – In a nationally televised speech Friday, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama altered his vision of a unified America to exclude Dayton, OH loser Nate Walsh.
According to Obama, the 32-year-old Walsh, who has lived with his parents intermittently since receiving his associate’s degree in 2001 and still does not have a credit card in his own name, no longer figures into the senator’s long-term plan of rallying Americans from all walks of life around a common, higher purpose.
“People of South Carolina, people of the world, this is our time, this is our moment,” Obama said before 72,000 supporters at the University of South Carolina’s Williams-Brice Stadium. “That is, unless you live in apartment 3L at 1254 Holden St., you watched Money Train on TBS last night at 3 a.m., and your name is Nate Walsh.”
“I have always said that the change we seek will not come easy, that it will not come without its share of sacrifice and struggle,” Obama continued. “And the last thing we need is dead weight like Nate Walsh adding another 20 or 30 years to the process.”
The speech, entitled “A More Perfect Union Minus Nate Walsh,” was 26 minutes long and contained the words “change” 12 times, “hope” 16 times, and “Nate,” in conjunction with the phrase “with the exception of,” 34 times.
Although Obama remained vague on issues such as health care and foreign policy, the Illinois senator was praised for finally publicly addressing the issue of Nate Walsh. Obama took a hard-line stance on Walsh, calling the part-time driving-range employee the lone aspect of America he doesn’t believe in, a citizen who can languish in the past for all he cares, and “on top of everything else, kind of a jerk.”