Happy Birthday John Fossil Fool McCain

(3 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Happy Birthday to the fool enamoured with fossil fuels whose policy concepts merit not “McSame” but McWorse ….

Older than modern wind turbines … older than ocean energy systems … Older than hybrid cars …

Even older than his romantic dalliance … nuclear power.

John McCain hits the magic 72 today.  Barack Obama issued his birthday gift last night: a full-throated impassioned challenge to the nation to choose between the past and the future.

When it comes to the arena of greatest concern, energy and global warming policy, John McCain occasionally has words to the better but, in the end, he is a fossilized Fossil Fuel whose policies merit not the term McSame but McWorse.  Why McWorse?  The disaster policies of George W Bush, who John has embraced (both figuratively with his over 90% voting with Bush and, well, literally) so closely, have wrecked havoc on a nation that was in a strong position after eight years of Democratic Party governance in the White House that fostered a booming economy and strong US relations around the world.  If elected (NO!!!!!!!!!), McWorse would take over after eight years of disastrous Bush-Cheney-McCain rule. John McWorse McCain would dig us further into the hole.

And, when it comes to energy policy and global warming, we cannot afford to have McWorse policies.  And, “afford” is every sense of the word: fiscally, health, global economics, and quite likely the very survival of a world conducive to modern human civilization. Without action, serious action, there is good reason to fear for humanity’s future.

Happy Birthday John!  May you have a chance to celebrate your next one at one of seven (eight, ten, more???) houses without having the burdens of presidential duties disrupting your lavish lifestyle.

INTRO:

John McCain will be 72 before the next election

Older than any other first-term president – I wonder if he still gets erections

He’s so old and seen so much, we thought we’d make a list and write this tribute song.

He’s older than a lot of things and so it’s really long

VERSE 1:

GI Joes, Barbie Dolls, The Air Force, Shopping Malls

The CIA and Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Credit Cards, String Bikinis, Minute Rice, Hot Dog Weenies

Pop Tarts, Tupperware, Hula Hoops, Medicare

Nike Shoes, The Pentagon, Burger King, Teflon

Gatorade, Radar, Slinkies; and the urge to make it kinky

BRIDGE 1

Irish Coffee black with a big shot of Jack is even younger than “the Mac”

CHORUS:

Everything in this song is younger than John McCain

He can’t even get the facts right in his own campaign

He may be sleeping through the senate but hey I can’t complain

We could rent a better president…

VERSE 2:

Disney World, Disneyland, CocaCola in a Can

Sweet n’ Low, Tylenol, Batman and Thunderball

K-F-C, The Rubik’s Cube, Implants for your Boobs

The Atom Bomb, and “Under God” in the Pledge.

BRIDGE 2:

John McCain is older than the Golden Gate Bridge

He’s younger than Bob Dole but only by a smidge

Verse 3:

Frosted Flakes and Pizza Hut boyhood friends with King Tut

Alaska, Velcro, Air Bags, I guess that’s why his face sags

NATO, The United Nations; he’s as old as FM Stations

Israel, Rock and Roll, Keith Richards, Birth Control

He’s older than his wife and he’s younger than his mama

He’s old enough to be one and a half Barack Obamas

Bridge 3:

Spaghetti-O’s, Pinocchio, Firebombs in Tokyo

Casablanca, Bambi and the Wizard of Oz

CHORUS:

Everything in this song is younger than The Mac

He calls himself an expert but he keeps mixing up the facts

He’s either forgetting or he’s smoking too much crack

We could rent a better president