This essay is less necessary today than it will be for the rest of the weekend because there is so much ‘special event’ programming between the parade and football, but TV schedulers have this horrible habit on holidays of using ‘Marathons’ to cover their essential laziness and lack of imagination.
Nobody knows lazy like I do and let me tell you what a Marathon is- it’s fighting Persians all day long to save democracy and western civilization and then running 26+ miles to Athens to shout “Nike!” and die.
Without a shoe endorsement contract no less.
Some networks are running their normal schedules, as we are attempting here at DocuDharma, and I give them credit for that as there is nothing better than vegging out all day watching something you like, but nothing worse than getting stuck with 24 hours of A Christmas Story (not that I don’t like Jean Shepard, but after umpty upm years of it even my Dad who is a huge fan is getting tired of Darrin McGavin).
But for the purposes of this essay we’ll be concentrating on the lazy ones and I’ll try to identify the stuff I think doesn’t suck.