Chief Justice Roberts: You want to patent light, Mr. Edison? Just because you’re dead and may be speaking to God, it doesn’t give you any right to ask for reconsideration of the Patent Office turning down your patent on the light bulb. You are now speaking to a much higher authority that works in the dark mostly.
Edison: I don’t want to patent light. I just want to finally patent my successful invention for creating light and turning night into day.
Chief Justice Roberts: I know you only had 3 months of schooling and can’t hear well beyond your autism so I will leave the questioning to Justice Scalia. He speaks loud enough and simple enough to wake the dead.
Justice Scalia: Though you are a dirty, smelly, mean, hippy recluse, like that Steve Jobs who was fired by the company he founded, I won’t ask you about how you had two wives and numerous children. It’s too late to protect women from you but I want to know about you going around electrocuting elephants.
Edison: I only electrocuted one used elephant to demonstrate one of the problems with Tesla’s AC current. I fired Tesla and he went bankrupt with his business, you know, but America is still stuck his lethal AC.
Justice Thomas breaks his silence and shouts at Edison: We are all educated, God-fearing men here and we know Natural Law better than some uneducated inventor. I should add there are some women here too but we don’t listen to them. We just look. Go away. We have spoken.