Tag: World Cup

John Oliver – FIFA the Farce Continues

Last year, John Oliver, the host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight,” gave a scathing and hilarious report on the corrupt world of the Fédération Internationale de Football Association, a.k.a. FIFA. John now gives us another of his gleeful soliloquies on the current arrests of fourteen FIFA officials, recapping some of pathetic defenses and the farcical re-election of Sepp Blatter for a fifth term as president.

After explaining the players in the fraud (including FIFA snitch Chuck Blazer, a man who looks like “Bad Santa”, Mr. Jack “Not the Onion” Warner, and Evil FIFA President Sepp Blatter), Oliver listed the extent of FIFA’s corruption and cruelty. Blatter, for instance, is the kind of guy who would make women play World Cup soccer on Astroturf, which bangs up people’s legs something awful: “The last time an athlete’s legs were beaten up that badly in advance of an major competition was when Tonya Harding was unwilling to settle for silver.” But Blatter may be best known for inexplicably granting the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, which has seen nearly 1,200 people die during the construction of its stadium.

Oliver was hardly surprised that Blatter subsequently won re-election, one day after the massive wave of arrests, due to the weird profit-sharing system of FIFA, in which every country gets the same amount of money regardless of their population. With that, he cheered on America and begged them to arrest Blatter, because that would do more for the American image abroad than anything else. “Imagine if the Dutch suddenly found a reason to extradite Donald Trump,” he explained.

“The problem is all the arrests in the world are going to change nothing if Blatter’s still there, because to truly kill a snake you must cut off its head-or in this case, its asshole,” the HBO host said.

He pleads for advertisers to withdraw their support for FIFA until the governing body comes to its senses and axes Blatter.

I would like to make a plea to them tonight: Please make Sepp Blatter go away. I will do anything. Adidas, I will wear one of your ugly shoes. One of these shoes that make me look like the Greek god of aspiring DJs. McDonalds, I will take a bite out of every item on your Dollar Menu-which tastes like normal food that was cursed by a vindictive wizard. And I will even make the ultimate sacrifice: Budweiser, if you pull your support and help get rid of Blatter, I will put my mouth where my mouth is, and I will personally drink one of your disgusting items. I’m serious. It could be a Bud-Lite. I will even drink a Bud-Lite Lime, despite the fact that all the lime in the world cannot disguise the fact that this tastes like a puddle beneath a Long John Silver’s dumpster. But I will do it. I will drink one maintaining eye contact with the camera and say it’s delicious, because if you get rid of the Swiss demon who has ruined the sport I love, this stuff will taste like fucking Champagne!”

John Oliver – FIFA and the World Cup

Adapted from Rant of the Week at The Stars Hollow Gazette

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO): FIFA and the World Cup

Anti-Capitalist Meetup: These are a few of my least favourite things by NY Brit Expat

It’s been one of those weeks where so many things have come to light that I simply do not know where to begin writing first. I sit there and think, which of the various things that I have been listening to or reading about have actually annoyed me to the point of actually writing about. I have realised that I am just generally annoyed.

When I thought about it more, I concluded that the underlying theme of these various stories is a complete and utter contempt by bourgeois governments (that lay claim to being utterly democratic) of the vast majority of people that they govern. Whether they govern competently or not, whether there is anything resembling a democratic mandate or not; it is the utter contempt in which they hold the majority of the population that has really gotten my goat.

I also realised that this is not only confined to governments, it is a view shared by the leadership of religious authorities, by arms of the state (police, armies, etc.) and even by the heads of sporting associations.  This contempt is a reflection of the fact that those in power think/know that when push comes to shove, they know who they serve and it is not the vast majority of people; it is a tiny elite hiding behind the word “democracy” while actually not even slightly being accountable to that majority. It is the abuse of power by those that have it wielded against those that view themselves as powerless. Having just spoken to my postman about my frustration, he agreed and said “this is a long term problem, what can you and I do about it”?

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Why Can’t Women’s Sports Be Like Men’s Sports?

While watching the Women’s World Cup in soccer today, I decided yet again to raise a familiar question. Why don’t people follow women’s sports like men’s sports? Before I even started thinking about formulating something of an answer, I decided I would not make arguments that cast the distinction in strictly biological terms. I think they exist, but I don’t think they’re nearly as integral to the issue as we might think. Our visceral reaction to the action going on before us may provide information that is far more helpful.

The Week in Editorial Cartoons – The Real Costs of Fossil Fuels

Crossposted at Daily Kos

Matt Bors

Matt Bors, Comics.com (Idiot Box)


World Cup Update: A Poor Workman Blames His Tools Edition

So far we’ve had two mega goalkeeping errors in the first days of World Cup.  England’s Robert Green let in a routine and weak shot because he didn’t follow a rule that even middle school goalkeepers know: get in front of the ball and smother it.  Don’t try to catch it from the side.  Ever.  The result was a 1-1 draw between the US, which was really stung early in the first half, and England, which for all its star power doesn’t play like a team.  The tabloid press in the UK today was really ugly: the error was called “Hand of Clod” and “Shock and Draw” and the Times said, it was “one disastrous spill the Yanks won’t complain about.”

This is what makes for such ugly press:

And then today, as if yesterday’s goof weren’t enough a wake up call, Slovenia, a country the size of Houston, beat Algeria on a goalkeeping error.  And, instead of just eating crow and moving on, the Algerian coach had this to say:

Algerian coach Rabah Saadane said the new World Cup ball was a challenge for goalkeepers.

“Everyone saw what happened with the ball, and what happened yesterday with England’s goalkeeper,” Saadane said. “You have to adjust to the flight of the ball.”


Yeah.  I saw what happened.  Here it is:

Coach, that’s not a problem with a ball. That’s called goalkeeper spacing out. Nice try though.

The world cup continues until July 11.  More about it occasionally.  


cross posted and ON SIDES at The Dream Antilles and the almost always dreaded dailyKos

The World Cup Is Coming!

Yesterday, Brazil, who have to be the favorite to win the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, played an international friendly match against Ireland.  Ireland has a very good team.  You might recall that Ireland was robbed of a chance to play in South Africa because Thierry Henry of France put the ball in the goal after touching it his hand (twice) while a referee slept nearby.

Yesterday Brazil beat Ireland 2-0.  And, of course, you can see the two goals in the following video.  The first goal is an own goal: the ball went into the net off the body of the Irish defender (who shall remain nameless).  The second goal is an example of the magic of Brazilian futbol: Goal by Robinho, wonderful assist by Grafite, who led the German Bundesliga in scoring last year.  Yeah, Brazilian football stars ofter are like Cher, having only one name.  Watch the Brazilian video.  Turn the audio up.  Feel the energy of this game.

Why’d I put this up at docuDharma?  This is the world game.  And the World Cup is the pinnacle of the world game.  The US will play in it, but really, the US isn’t a futbol power.  Far, far from it.  Teams that are powers are Brazil, Argentina who beat Germany today, Spain and England.  And Mexico. Teams that might be powers but today are not doing so great include Germany, Ivory Coast, Italy, Egypt, and Nigeria.

Sometimes I think that if more people in the US understood futbol, maybe they’d understand our neighbors in the world a little better.  What interests them.  What games they play.  How they feel about strategy, art, athletics, aesthetics, competition.  Understanding can only make us all closer.  And being closer in this might even make us less likely to fight with each other.  So I offer this essay as a simple, first step toward cultivating your checking out this sport.

If you like this simple essay, I’ll do a few more futbol essays before the World Cup begins in June.  Just to get you ready and in sync with the rest of the planet.  And I won’t cross-post them.