Muse in the Morning

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Muse in the Morning

The muses are ancient.  The inspirations for our stories were said to be born from them.  Muses of song and dance, or poetry and prose, of comedy and tragedy, of the inward and the outward.  In one version they are Calliope, Euterpe and Terpsichore, Erato and Clio, Thalia and Melpomene, Polyhymnia and Urania.

It has also been traditional to name a tenth muse.  Plato declared Sappho to be the tenth muse, the muse of women poets.  Others have been suggested throughout the centuries.  I don’t have a name for one, but I do think there should be a muse for the graphical arts.  And maybe there should be many more.

Please join us inside to celebrate our various muses…

In 1992 I learned to speak my truths.  They were tentative at first, hardly more than notes about the reality of my life.  Later some of them became poems.  Still later, more poems were added to add the view of hindsight.  I’ve tried to arrange them into a cohesive whole.  Maybe it works.  Maybe it has more meaning this way.

At the time this was written, I was in an LDR (long distance romance, for those who have not encountered the acronym) with a woman who was teaching English in Japan.  The relationship didn’t last past my surgery the following summer, but we did meet in Hawaii for a week during winter break, we spent that Spring Break together, and I recovered from my surgery at her house in Bloomington, IN.

This is for April.

A Transition through Poetry XXI

Art Link

Hearts>
(This is full-sized)

My Love

As I walk in the brisk autumn air

And the sun warms me but a bit

You are walking with me.

As I stop amongst the trees

And listen to the wind in the branches

I hear your voice.

As I bundle myself in my coat

And rearrange my hat and scarf

I feel your arms surround me.

As I walk through the garden

And see the last flowers of the year

I see your face.

You are forever with me

My Love

Eternally by my side

In my dreams

In my life.

To feel your touch,

To see your smile,

To hear you laugh,

I long for these.

One day, My Love,

We will be together

And the word Love

Will gain new meaning.

Soon, My Darling,

We will be together

As our spirits

Have always been.

We will meet

And the world

Will be our garden

Forever, My Love.

–Robyn Elaine Serven

–November, 1993

I know you have talent.  What sometimes is forgotten is that being practical is a talent.  I have a paucity for that sort of talent in many situations, though it turns out that I’m a pretty darn good cook.  🙂  

Let your talent bloom.  You can share it here.  Encourage others to let it bloom inside them as well.

Won’t you share your words or art, your sounds or visions, your thoughts scientific or philosophic, the comedy or tragedy of your days, the stories of doing and making?  And be excellent to one another!

Datamining 4.0: Education

That damn Save button got me again.  Do I have the record of the shortest post ever (two words)?  

Education

Earnings

I screwed up the Save button and now I don’t see how to add a poll.  So I guess this one will fade into the darkness.  I’ll try again some other time.

Critical Thinking

Critical thinking

Randi:  Medical bunko

vaccines

The Stars Hollow Gazette

As some of you may know I’m still an active member of RedState.  The subject comes to mind because in addition to all the Candidate Crap I spent a little time in a diary about RedState that I found uncomfortable.

The diarist was amazed that they could be ‘wasting’ their time talking about anything but politics.

I pointed out that the blurb is “Conservative News and Community.”

Now the reason I still survive is I don’t go there much and never if I disagree about politics.  I talk about sports mostly, I grieved with Streiff about the passing of the F-14 because in Harpoon Phoenix missiles kick ass and you can never have enough.  Leon thinks I’m unserious because I supported Online Integrity, but then again Booman thinks I’m an ass clown so there you go.

You can’t get hung up on civility.

Now by community what I mean is what I was seeking when I joined dK, a place where I could express myself without worrying about pissing everyone off if I happened to let slip that I thought W was an asshole (I have since amended my judgment to war criminal).  I never intended that every waking minute be devoted to that opinion, just that it shouldn’t disqualify me from being an ok person to have it.

At the same time I have the experience to understand that communities are complex structures, and ambition and jealousy and struggles for power are just the way monkeys interact in groups.  Smart monkeys learn to pursue their own banana.

My guiding principle is this- there are no bad opinions, but there are bad actors.

“It is the madness of folly to expect mercy from those who have refused to do justice.  Even mercy, where conquest is the object, is only a trick of war.”- Tom Paine

Thanksgiving Turkey

thanksgiving1000 frlett

Click on the image to get your own fair-use copy.  

The Derek Trucks Band Live at the Egg

It was a cold windy night in Albany, a parking spot was available right outside the Empire State Plaza, a rarity indeed, a quick dash across the smooth marble promenade reveals the Egg uplit, mirroring the shape of the moon above.  Once inside the crowd was happy and energetic, bouncing around, finding friends, or buying a CD or two.  Unbeknownst to me a warm up act was playing called “American Babies”, I guess they are a mix of emo and blues but I didn’t get a chance to hear much.

The lights came on and the stage was prepared for the main act.  A lot of couples, some college kids, many musicians and some neighborhood locals made up the crowd.  This is the most packed I have seen the main theater at the egg.  Energy started to build…the lights dim…out they walk.  Cruising right into a number that most other guitarists would save until they were warmed up Derek did not disappoint. He played rhythm, lead and slide all without a pick. He used the volume button as his only effect, try that at home kids.  

   

The rest of the band was equally impressive, choosing simple, tried and tested sounds then doing new and amazing things.  The keyboard player reminded me of a laid back Herbie Hancock, using old Hammond B3 sounds and fading in and out with the volume intertwining with the guitar.  The main drummer used a 4 piece kit and made it dance.  The tiny little bass player popped smiles out of nowhere as he’d here a slight change from the drummer and change his beat to match.  The percussionist was an old shaman kind of fellow that would stare straight through you as he played.  

The group played a beautiful selection of works form their various CD’s.  They invited the guitarist from American Babies up to play a few songs with them, including the finale.  He was good, quirky, but good.  Derek is developing a stage personality, emphasizing strokes, pointing out the leads to the other musicians and even smiling once or twice at the audience.

From Albany they go to Japan, then Hawaii, and then the West Coast I believe.  Check out their site and order up some tickets or a CD if you feel like it.  For those unfamiliar with the overall sound of the band, think of an early 60’s blues jam mixed with 70’s fusion and top it all off with global influences.

http://derektrucks.com/

http://youtube.com/watch?v=L-U…  

Tabasco: Still Struggling, Almost Forgotten

You’ll recall that in late October and early November the state of Tabasco in Mexico had huge floods.

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Women in Villahermosa covered their noses on Sunday because of the stench from the receding flood waters.

The flood, which was very briefly noted in the traditional media, and has faded from the traditional media.

And now there is a serious concern about an outbreak of dengue.

AFP reports

Mexican health authorities Saturday began aerial spraying of southern Tabasco state, including its capital Villahermosa, after massive floods earlier this month raised a bumper crop of mosquitos that can spread dengue.

“The job will cover the 10,000 hectares (24,700 acres) of Villahermosa and surroundings and will be complemented with ground fumigation of streets and empty lots and homes,” the Health Ministry said in a statement.

The fumigation operation, it added, will be carried out in three phases of three days each, ending in early December.

Dengue and dengue hemorrhagic fever (DHF) are acute febrile diseases, found in the tropics and Africa, with a geographical spread similar to malaria.  They are spread to humans by a type of mosquito. If this spread hits America then precautionary measures must be put in place, so companies like Mosquito Authority of Hilton Head may be used to help protect homes, businesses, etc. to cover all bases.

I have personal experience with Dengue.  It arrives without warning as an enormous fever that lasts for days, bringing delirium, dehydration, and a falling platelet count.  In second or third exposures to the fever, there is a danger of massive internal hemorrhage and death.

The floods in Tabasco, which has 2 million residents, displaced more than half of the population.  About 70,000 people ended up in shelters.  Another 20,000 or so ended up living on their roofs.  Many others fled to nearby places with high ground.  Indigenous people in the interior found themselves trapped on islands in the flood.  All of the crops were destroyed.  Oil production was halted.  The flood created a colossal, smelly mosquito habitat.  And now, inevitably, this.

Aid appears to be arriving in Tabasco for the beleaguered population.  But there are significant problems in getting aid to people who need it.  According to the Houston Chronicle

Thousands of tons of food, drinking water, clothing and medicines are flowing into the state capital of Villahermosa. Government cash in outright gifts and low-interest loans looms. Volunteers, Mexican and foreign, have joined local, state and federal workers in wading into stricken communities.

But it’s not all blue skies.

In a state where federal, state and local officials now belong to bitterly competing political parties, the aid is carrying a lot of political baggage. And too many of the supplies remain stuck in Villahermosa warehouses or in city halls in outlying areas, with some hamlets receiving little or nothing at all.

“Maybe help is getting to people in the capital, but out here we are abandoned,” said Eleuterio de la Cruz, an elected official in Oxiacaque, a Chontal Indian community 20 miles from Villahermosa that sits atop one of Tabasco’s richest oil fields. “We understand there is a lot of aid coming, but is not getting here.”

In other words, many, many people who were devastated by the flood are not receiving the aid they still desperately need, even though the aid may be as close as 20 miles away.  Is this Mexico’s version of Katrina?  And where are the reports showing whether charitable donations from the US and Mexico and other countries are reaching their intended beneficiaries?

And, of course, simmering in the background is a dispute about whether the gigantic damage from the floods could have been averted.  And whether and how fault should be assigned. The WaPo is reporting that the extent of flooding may have been increased by political graft

Long before the devastating flooding this month in the state of Tabasco, Mexico’s behemoth state-run oil company, Petróleos Mexicanos, was pouring hundreds of thousands of dollars into local government coffers for flood abatement projects.

From 1997 to 2001, at least $3 million was donated to build dikes, raise levees and move poor residents from low-lying areas, according to analysts and independent investigators. But a crescendo of questions about whether the oil money was ever used for the intended projects is raising the possibility that corruption and incompetence might have played as much of a role in the tragedy as historically torrential rains.

The Saint Tomas Association, a nongovernmental organization, has said there was no evidence that two previous Tabasco governors — Manuel Andrade Díaz and Roberto Madrazo Pintado, who also was a 2006 presidential candidate — spent the oil money on flood projects.

And so, the suffering in Tabasco continues.  And it may even increase with an epidemic of mosquito borne disease.  The picture of this disaster is ugly.  And it is not over yet.

Obviously, giving more aid, giving more money is not a solution at this point to the problem.  There is no assurance that aid will reach those who need it.  What’s needed now is pressure to have the aid distributed.

Please consider writing or calling the Mexican Consulate near you to urge prompt distribution of aid in Tabasco to those who need it. Here is a list of phone numbers and addresses.

Six million turn out to protest Iraq war

OK, that headline is only true in my dreams.

But on a per capita basis, the equivalent happened on Iraq Moratorium  #3 last Friday in Hayward, Wisconsin.

Hayward, a city of 2,129 in northwestern Wisconsin, is better know as the Musky Capital of the World than as a center of antiwar activism.

But 40 people turned out for a vigil to call for an ending the war and bringing our troops home.

If people in Milwaukee turned out in equal numbers, as a percentage of the population, there would have been 12,000 at the downtown rush hour vigil Friday night.  Instead, there were perhaps 100 at most.

In New York City, there would have been 160,000 in the streets.  In Houston, 42,000.   In  San Jose, 18,000.  And that’s without including any suburban populations.

This inspiring photo, which graces the Iraq Moratorium website, is not from Hayward, but from Sewanee, Tennessee, with a population of 2,335. You can count about 30 people in that small community at last month’s Moratorium.  Its turnout is almost on a par with Hayward’s.

Those kinds of successes, in small town America, are what inspire activists in the antiwar movement and help to keep hope alive as the senseless, endless war continues.  

They are evidence, on a small scale, that the silent antiwar majority which expresses itself in every public opinion poll, really exists — and that with a lot of effort and a lot of patience it can be activated and mobilized.

Even the Hayward turnout is only on the order of two per cent.  At least 60 per cent of Americans say the war was a mistake, and that they want to end the war and bring the troops home.

But two per cent of the people could turn this country around.

If six million people – a mere two per cent of the population — were in the streets on Moratorium Day, the politicians would do more than notice.  They would react, because they would be afraid not to.

I’d settle for one per cent.

So what’s the secret to making that happen?

One of the members of Peace North , which organized the Hayward event, said, “We worked very hard one to one to convince people to come out.”  

That’s harder to do, of course, in a bigger city.  But when you consider how many people already are at least loosely-affiliated members of some organization which opposes the war – ranging from churches to labor to veterans groups to more traditional peace groups – a good base already exists.  Many of those organizations, including the biggest peace coalition in the country, United for Peace and Justice, have endorsed the Moratorium.

Collectively, their membership probably doesn’t reach the two per cent level.  But if, somehow, they all could miraculously motivate all of their members to do something at the same time, on the same day, it could move the Congress.

How do we make that happen?  I wish I knew.  People who have been at it far longer than I have been trying to put together the strategy and tactics to end this war.  

These musings aren’t meant to offer a solution, but to say that it is not a time to become disheartened, even as the President and the Congress seem unwilling and/or unable to accede to the will of the majority and stop this bloody war.  The people are on our side.

Peace North isn’t giving up in Hayward.  

The goal there for Iraq Moratorium #4, on December 21, is to turn out 75 people, even though the weather will be colder and the holidays only a few days away.  It’s an ambitious goal.

That translates to 22,500 in Milwaukee, and 280,000 in New York City.

Ready to get started?

Pony Party: Sunday music retrospective

Country Joe and the Fish



Love

Some (many?) of the Fish songs have drug references.  That may be why they are not available at youtube.

Ya think?



Not so Sweet Martha Lorraine



Happiness is a Porpoise Mouth

Would the next one be better with the Fish?  Of course!



Bass Strings

Please do not recommend a Pony Party when you see one.  There will be another along in a few hours.

Open mic

Last Call

The tonic chord of the last line — that’s our topic.  The tonal and thematic closure of a literary episode found with the right string of words.  The well-struck final sentence of a well-structured novel or essay or even film brings a session of the reader’s consiousness to a close.  Within a definable portion of one’s finite existence, the last line marks the cessation of a who and a when and a what that was spent with a piece of writing.  

Meaning does not stop with the final line, of course; that’s not my claim.  The life of a lived work does not stop when we close the cover for the first time.  A piece of writing is alive after it is read, learned by heart, sometimes, though it need not be learned by heart to live, and then it is alive in us until our death, if it meant a lot to us.  We may return to the work even if we never see it again.

Rather, when I say that the final line, if right, brings an end, what I mean is that an aesthetically, even ethically comprehensible finitude has been created in the space of life.  A mortality in miniature, a totem is there in the soul where before there was none; an object round on all sides (or jagged if that is the author’s purpose) to be studied, kept in one’s spiritual pocket, remembered, cherished, or perhaps disquietedly revered.  A thing with meaning.

We can think of examples.  Restful return, as in Sam Gamgee’s “‘Well, I’m back,’ he said,” at the end of The Lord of the Rings.  The lyrical-philosophical frustration at the end of Ludwig Wittgenstein’s Logico-Philosophical Tractatus — a book about, literally, the construction of the world with words — “Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.”  Virginia Woolf’s self-reflective close to To the LightHouse: “With a sudden intensity, as if she saw it clear for a second, she drew a line there, in the centre.  It was done; it was finished.  Yes, she thought, laying down her brush in extreme fatigue, I have had my vision.”

I have my favorites.  The close of Mark C. Danielewski’s tale about a photographer and a haunted house (maybe), House of Leaves.

Navidson does not close with the carmel covered face of a Casper the friendly ghost.  He ends instead with what he knows is true and always will be true.  Letting the parade pass from sight, he focuses on the empty road beyond, a pale curve vanishing into the woods where nothing moves and a streetlamp flickers on and off until at last it flickers out and darkness sweeps in like a hand.

A novel about the labyrinthine darkness of an infinite house which becomes, in the novel, a literal sort of metonym for something still larger.  And which refuses to be lit.

Or, joyously, wisely, happily, knowingly, a look back at a time that cannot have been as good as you remember it.  Michael Chabon ends The Mysteries of Pittsburgh like this:

When I remember that summer, that dull, stupid, lovely, dire summer, it seems to me that in those days I ate my lunches, smelled another’s skin, noticed a shade of yellow, even simply sat, with greater lust and hopefulness — and that I lusted with greater faith, hoped with greater abandon.  The people I loved were celebrities, surrounded by rumor and fanfare; the places I sat with them, movie lots and monuments.  No doubt all of this is not true rememberance but the ruinous work of nostalgia, which obliterates the past, and no doubt, as usual, I have exaggerated everything.

Marge Gunderson’s restorative and somehow sunny morality at the end of Fargo:

So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’t you know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day. Well, I just don’t understand it.

Or, at the other end of the spectrum, a fictionalized Aileen at the end of her disastrous life in Monster:

Love conquers all.  Every cloud has a silver lining.  Faith can move mountains.  Love will always find a way.  Everything happens for a reason.  Where there is life, there is hope.  Oh, well.  They gotta tell you somethin’.

A note, I take it, of final bewilderment.

I have a point.

What I mean to get at in all of this is that eras have endings, too.  Like novels and movies they are cultural, and are themselves quasi-literary, constructions.  But I cannot for the life of me think of a close to the Bush years that will have any tonic note at all.  I cannot leap myself forward into a future imaginarium and look back and see what all of this, that we are living through now, “meant”.

No doubt the future, and even our future selves, will construct a narrative about all of this.  We will have our history.  We will give it meaning.  And it will be a sealed finitude in the continuing meaning of our lives — those of us still alive, American and otherwise.  I can see the end of all of this.  It’s only 14 months away.  But I cannot fathom what it will feel like; what it will have felt like when felt in the rearview mirror.

Will there be in all of us a sense of some disquieting refusal to end, as with House of Leaves?  Will the recall be merely or mostly projection, as with The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, though hardly happy as there?  

What will we, our future selves, tell each other that this, all of this, this darkened and darkly hilarious coda to the twentieth century, meant?  What will we have done with it, and what in the world will we say?

How Do You Label?

I can’t get away from Docudharma today.  Every diary has been intriguing.  Commenters are on fire. And I keep generating more questions which beg for conversation.

Plf515 wrote an essay about the use of labels and how we perceive and use them.

Buhdy has been writing about who we are and what we are about.  

NLOB has been contributing to our collective understanding.

Robyn writes so eloquently and heart-wrenchingly and always insightfully about self-identity, inclusiveness and ostracism as an integral part of who she is.

And many others are writing and thoughtfully commenting about us, who we are, what our purpose is and what our contributions are and can be.

To that end, I am interested in learning about:

how you describe yourself

how your describe Docudharma

and

what your perceived discrepancies are between how you are and how you wish to be

how docudharma is and how you wish it to be

Anyone game?

How I perceive myself:

A thinker

A listener

A writer

Sensitive to the needs of others

Empathetic

Stubborn

Trying to be open-minded

Learning disabled

Often confused

Often surprised

Appreciator of music

Appreciator of good works

Appreciator of nature

Rejector of discrimination

Rejector of social injustice

Distrustful

Aloof

Shy

Tolerate, but dislike, ambiguity

Notably, I didn’t mention gender, familial role, occupation, age race or other census-type identifier.

Docudharma:

Community

Like-minded individuals

Progressive values

Inclusive to a point

Creative

Talented

Inconsistent

Future oriented

Peace-loving

Hard-working

Intelligent

Passionate

Sensitive

Again, community is described very differently than that of the categories plf515 used in his examples.

Gaps Between Extant and Preferred States

I want to become a person who likes people, can learn to trust people and who enjoys the company of others, as I would like them to enjoy my company.

I would like to see the Docudharma community emerge as a progressive agenda leader.  To that end, I would like to see more inclusivity of those who hold disparate ideas and opinions, with a rigorous application of critical analysis to test ideas, to develop ideas and to promote ideas with a total absence of ad hominem attacks.

I hope you’ll comment about your own perceptions.  Maybe this will help us build mutual understanding and will help us to develop the community of Docudharma.

The Secret History of My Foolish Heart

I asked for a horse the Christmas I was four and was not fooled by the black and white wooden facsimile on springy-thingies I got instead.  That was my first brush with heartbreak.  I did not know to consider the children who got squat, and to be grateful.

My next heartbreak was when one of my older brothers told me there was no Santa, this the night before Christmas when I was six.

We lived in Laos when I was eight and I made a deal with my dad to pay for half the price of a horse if I saved up the other half.  Fifty bucks was the going rate for riding horses in Laos, took me nearly a year to save the twenty-five.  Found a horse and paid for it, we were supposed to pick it up in a week once it was saddle broken.  That was a Sunday.  The Sunday I was to take possession I awoke to the sound of machine-gun fire and the rumble of tanks running up and down the road in front of our house.  There had been a coup.  The fighting would rage for another year.  I was not long for Laos and I never saw my horse again.

My first serious broken heart came to me in 1963 when they killed John Kennedy in Dallas.  I was eleven.  I remember it made my tough guy older brother cry.  That scared me worse than anything.  I’m not over that one yet.

Not counting periodic episodes involving puppy love, my next heartbreak was at 16 when I went to visit a much-admired older friend who used to play in our neighborhood touch football games.  He was only eighteen at the time and it was hard for me to see him so badly broken.  He was just returned home from Vietnam where he’d left the better part of his right leg.

He was walking point, he told me, on a trail through tall elephant grass.  He turned a corner to confront a man with an AK47 who got off the first shot.  The round hit him in the thigh knocking him down and blowing him off the trail.  

It didn’t hurt he said, it felt like a dull thud.  He found himself on his back staring in shock through the arching elephant grass at a merciless sky.

He told me how he ran his hand down his leg trying to determine how badly he was hurt and when his hand got to the wound…it fell in.

***

I met the love of my life when I was fifteen.  It was immature to be sure, but it was definitely looove.  We were together all through the late sixties and those were intense times.  We married in ’70.  I was eighteen, she was twenty-one.  

She was so perfect for me, there was mind-blowing chemistry between us, and she was an angel of the first degree.  In fact, she was as sweet as tupelo honey…

Just like honey baby…from the bee.

We were married seventeen months when I was busted for four felony drug charges.  Out on bail awaiting trial the tension tore us apart.  I could have stopped it but I didn’t.  I didn’t want her to pay for my sins, so I cut her loose.  It was the hardest thing and perhaps the best thing I ever did.  She went on to marry and raise three children.  I went on to prison.  She still writes me sometimes.

As a freedom-loving hippie, prison was hard on me.  I’m not saying it was any harder on me than it was on anyone else, but I seemed to mind it more.  Every day I woke up in prison was another heartbreak.  Two-thousand, three-hundred and twenty-one heartbreaks in a row.

I got out of prison in 1978 and I’ve had any number of heartbreaks since then. But none compare to the heartbreak I feel when I consider that we have allowed ourselves to become a corporate war-mongering police state and a nation of torturers, bullies and liars.

Lord what I would give for a heart of gold.

As this old desperado just gets older I find myself wanting to get down to the heart of the matter.

heartbreak-peace-out-OPOL

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