Prolific These Illuminati Videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…

Well done in explaining the coming Amero, the further loss of rights and who is behind it.  By embracing those “conspiracy” theories one might decide they are facts.  I have.  After that it all makes perfect sense.  No, they are not incompetent, it is by design and only the agenda is unknown to you, the average American.

http://www.deliberatedumbingdo…

You are CEO of the world.  You have a choice between a mere 300 million lost souls or the potential profit margine available in six billion.  The six billion have also been relatively easily controlled and manipulated by elite power brokers since the beginning of civilization.  If you were on top what would be your choice.

Bringing ‘Freedom’ and ‘Democracy’ to the Iraq People!

How many remember this:

“For the vast majority of Iraqi citizens who wish to live as free men and women, this event brings further assurance that the torture chambers and the secret police are gone forever.” – George W. Bush upon capture of Saddam Hussein.

There was a post, early this morning, that I followed the links embedded before heading for work. And once again my Disgust at the Depths my Country has Sunk to left me in a Rage for the rest of the day, and is still there!

Wired online site has an updated report on Abu Ghraib, with more photo’s not seen before, they also have a slideshow!

I would suggest only those with a Very Strong Constitution view the photo’s and slideshow, but everyone should read the report.

The report is called: How Good People Turn Evil, From Stanford to Abu Ghraib

It is an interview with Psychologist Philip Zimbardo. His book, The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil, explores how a “perfect storm” of conditions can make ordinary people commit horrendous acts.

We hear an awfull lot about ‘National Security’ and how some think they are ‘Stronger’ on that issue.

Well when you wage Wars of Choice and Atrosities such as Abu Ghraib, and now known other Torture practices and sites are maintained, and you Kill and Maim tens of thousands of Innocent Citizens of a small country, you leave any and all nations ‘National Security’ wide open for the ‘Blowback’ from the Extreme Hatreds for what you’ve done!

And those who ordered the actions, as well as their supporters, are No Differant Than The Saddams Of The World, those same Saddams they once supported and in many cases, but differant countries, Still Support!!

They make us all the Terrorists, term so easily used, they Condemn!!

Pony Party…..Shine

.

Thursday,  I  Think  Seriously,  About  Stupid  Shit


It’ll Shine When It Shines

(Steve Cash / John Dillon)

the old cat on the roof

he could stand a little push

’cause he’s got nine good lives to live

but like my momma said

you only live till you’re dead

and you got to give and give and give

there’s a pebble in the pond

goin’ on and on,

makin’ waves and tides and ripples and rings

there’s a leaf in the wind

that don’t know where to end

chasin’ days and ways and wishes and dreams

seems like ev’ry one

is out lookin’ for the sun

singin’ rain and pain on he who hesitates

but it’ll shine when it shines

you might think I’m wastin’ time

but I’m just a good old boy that’s learned to wait

whippoorwill’s in the dawn

pretty soon, he’ll be gone

and he’s got one good song to sing

but like my daddy said,

it’s in your heart, not your head

and you got to sing and sing and sing

there’s a window in the wall

lookin’ out on it all

leavin’ fears and tears and troubles alone

there’s a fire in the stove

keepin’ out the cold,

warmin’ wine and winters and babies and homes

seems like ev’ry one

is out lookin’ for the sun

singin’ rain and pain on he who hesitates

but it’ll shine when it shines

you might think I’m wastin’ time

but I’m just a good old boy that’s learned to wait

yes, I’m just a good old boy that’s learned to wait

.

Have you ever said or done something offhandedly… unthinkingly…. then found out later your words or actions affected someone else so deeply it changed their life?

Have someone else’s words or actions caused a life-changing experience in you?

Are you doing what you shine at?

.

Thanks for stopping in, so glad You’re here …. (yes, YOU!)

this is an open thread… relax.. Hang out and chit chat awhile…

and when you’re done  check out some of the excellent offerings on our recent and rec’d list.

O &… Please don’t rec the pony party, another will trot up in a few hours.

(^.^)

Four at Four

  1. There is a Record-high ratio of Americans in prison reports the Washington Post. “More than one in 100 adult Americans is in jail or prison, an all-time high that is costing state governments nearly $50 billion a year, in addition to more than $5 billion spent by the federal government, according to a report released today. With more than 2.3 million people behind bars at the start of 2008, the United States leads the world in both the number and the percentage of residents it incarcerates, leaving even far more populous China a distant second, noted the report by the nonpartisan Pew Center on the States.”

  2. The Los Angeles Times reports $4 gasoline? It’s news to Bush.

    President Bush said today he was unaware of predictions by some analysts that gasoline could reach $4 a gallon by this spring because of strong demand and reformulation.

    That’s interesting, I hadn’t heard that,” Bush said after a reporter asked about the prospect. “I know it’s high now.” …

    Bush again touted the benefits of alternative fuels and conservation. But he chastised Congress for talking about an $18-billion tax increase for large oil companies.

    “All that’s going to do is make the price even higher,” he said.

  3. The Washington Post reports the ‘Virtual wall’ along U.S.-Mexican border fails and is to be delayed. The completion of the project’s first phase is delayed at least three years. “Technical problems discovered in a 28-mile pilot project south of Tucson prompted the change in plans, Department of Homeland Security officials and congressional auditors told a House subcommittee.” The project built by Boeing “did not work as planned” nor “meet the needs of the U.S. Border Patrol… Boeing has already been paid $20.6 million for the pilot project, and in December, the DHS gave the firm another $65 million to replace the software with military-style, battle management software.” The total cost of the project is unknown, because the DHS does “not yet know the type of terrain where the fencing is to be constructed, the materials to be used, or the cost to acquire the land.”

    Meanwhile, The New York Times reports a Border patrol agent’s trial in the killing of a migrant starts in Arizona. “In a patch of desert just north of Mexico, what began as a relatively routine interception a year ago ended when a Border Patrol agent shot and killed an illegal immigrant at close range… The agent, Nicholas W. Corbett, 40, was charged with second-degree murder, manslaughter and negligent homicide for a shooting that prosecutors say was unprovoked as the immigrant, Francisco Javiér Domínguez, 22, was surrendering… The prosecutor, Grant Woods, a former state attorney general, said Wednesday at the trial that Agent Corbett had lied to supervisors about what occurred… ‘We all respect the Border Patrol and law enforcement, but you don’t kill somebody who is trying to surrender,’ he told the jury.

  4. The Guardian reports Adopt defence system or face disaster, warns US official.

    Failure by the European allies to adopt a missile defence system could lead to the break up of Nato, the top US official responsible for promoting the controversial project warned today.

    Lt Gen Henry Obering, director of the US Missile Defence Agency, painted almost apocalyptic scenarios at a conference at the Royal United Services Institute in London today. He said that Iran could simultaneously block the Straits of Hormuz and provoke terrorist attacks in Europe, and that al-Qaida could acquire nuclear weapons…

    “The decisions we make today, right now, will shape the future,” he said. Europe could not wait until Iran possessed long-range missiles.

    There remains widespread scepticism in Nato about Washington’s claims regarding the need and capability of a missile defence system and the intentions of the Iranians, alliance officials admitted today.

Its 2008! Do you know where your money is? (You better know)

My sig line, which I’ve displayed not-so-proudly for the past year is “Another day, another devalued dollar.”  It seemed appropriate at the time I decided to place it above my name in each blog comment I make, but it seems more and more appropriate with each passing day.  

Not only is our economy now in a recession, not only are home foreclosures at an all time high as well as new home sales at an all time low, not only are lending establishments NOT lending money unless people put up their first born along with some other serious collateral, but the latest bad financial news about our banking industry here in the US may have us wondering about the safety of the money you have deposited at your own bank!

This from CNN:

In the past year there have been four bank failures.

And the chairman of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp and banking industry experts foresee many bank failures down the road.

“Regulators are bracing for 100-200 bank failures over the next 12-24 months,” says Jaret Seiberg, an analyst with the financial services firm, the Stanford Group.

Expected loan losses, the deteriorating housing market and the credit squeeze are blamed for the drop in bank profits.

The problem areas will be concentrated in the Rust Belt, in places like Ohio and Michigan and other states like California, Florida and Georgia.

The number of institutions categorized as “problem” institutions by the FDIC has also grown from 50 at the end of 2006 to 76 at the end of last year.

YIKES!  Ever since Bu$hCo was installed into the American Government by the Supreme Court in 2000, for America and Americans, if it wasn’t for bad luck, we wouldn’t have any luck at all.

What to do, you ask?  Well, other than digging that hole in your backyard and placing all your cash in an old cigar box and drawing a treasure map, there are a few things you can do.  NO.  Not under your mattress, silly!  Although, you wouldn’t need to draw the treasure map that way, I suppose.  Anyway, from the same article:

Here’s how to make sure you pick a safe bank. First, look for the FDIC logo at your local branch. If you don’t see it, ask the bank, or go to the FDIC’s Web site and click on “Bank Find.” Here you’ll be able to see if the bank carries this guarantee.

This step is especially important if you’re using an Internet-only bank or a bank you’ve never heard of. You can also check out the financial health of a banking institution at www.bankrate.com.

The FDIC also maintains a list of bank rating agencies on its Web site that can assess a banks financial stability. But in many cases, these companies charge a fee.

As loan delinquencies rise, and bank failures increase, the FDIC is shoring up its reserves. The agency is bringing back formerly retired employees to bolster a division that deals specifically with bank failures. Many of these agency veterans worked for the FDIC during the late 1980s and early 1990s, when thousands of financial institutions failed during the savings-and-loan crisis.

Remember, FDIC only insures up to $100,000.00 for single persons and $200,000.00 for joint accounts, so if you are far more well off than I, you might want to spread that love around to a few institutions, just in case.  These amounts include any money you have in any one bank in checking, savings and money market accounts and certificate of deposit (CD’s).

More information on your money and the insured aspects of banks and credit unions:

IRAs and Keoghs — these are retirement plans for people who are self-employed — can be insured up to $250,000. These retirement accounts are considered separate from your individual bank accounts.

If you have money in a credit union, the same protections exist. However, instead of the FDIC insurance, deposits are insured under the National Credit Union Administration, another government agency.

Of course, banks offer much more than your bread-and-butter savings and checking accounts. Some offer investments such as mutual funds or stock funds, which generally promise higher rates of return than CDs, are not insured by the FDIC nor are they insured by the broker/dealer. The general rule is deposits are FDIC-guaranteed, but not investments.  My emphasis.

Things are getting kind of crazy out there in the financial world.  If you haven’t had time to take a look at your money and where it is recently, now might be a good time to make some calls to the institutions that you currently have $$$ hanging around in and be sure you make any necessary changes as needed.

A tortuous cover-up

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The British government admits to complicity in two cases of “extraordinary rendition”, but claims they are an isolated case and promises that it “never uses torture for any purpose, including obtaining information, neither would we instigate actions by others to do so.”

Ex-SAS soldier Ben Griffin begs to differ:

“The use of British Territory and airspace pales into insignificance in light of the fact that it has been British soldiers detaining the victims of Extraordinary Rendition in the first place. Since the invasion of Afghanistan in the autumn of 2001 UKSF has operated within a joint US/UK Task Force. This Task Force has been responsible for the detention of hundreds if not thousands of individuals in Afghanistan and Iraq. Individuals detained by British soldiers within this Task force have ended up in Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp, Bagram Theatre Internment Facility, Balad Special Forces Base, Camp Nama BIAP and Abu Ghraib Prison.

Whilst the government has stated its desire that the Guantanamo Bay detention camp be closed, it has remained silent over these other secretive prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan. These secretive prisons are part of a global network in which individuals face torture and are held indefinately without charge. All of this is in direct contravention of the Geneva Conventions, International Law and the UN Convention Against Torture.

Early involvement of UKSF in the process of Extraordinary Rendition centres around operations carried out in Afghanistan in late 2001. Of note is an incident at the Qalai Janghi fortress, near Mazar-i-Sharif. UKSF fought alongside their US counterparts to put down a bloody revolt by captured Taliban fighters. The surviving Taliban fighters were then rendered to Guantanamo Bay. After the invasion of Iraq in 2003 this joint US/UK task force appeared. Its primary mission was to kill or capture high value targets. Individuals detained by this Task Force often included non-combatants caught up in the search for high value targets. The use of secret detention centres within Iraq has negated the need to use Guantanamo Bay whilst allowing similar practice to go unnoticed.

I have here an account taken from an interpreter interviewed by the organisation Human Rights Watch (http://hrw.org/reports/2006/us0706/2.htm). He was based at the detention and interrogation facility within Camp Nama at Baghdad International Airport during 2004. This facility was used to interrogate individuals captured by the joint US/UK Task Force. In it are the details of numerous breaches of the Geneva Convention and accounts of torture. These breaches were not the actions of rogue elements the abuse was systematic and sanctioned through the chain of command. This account is corroborated by an investigation carried out by NYT reporters into Camp Nama and the US/UK Task Force, which appeared in the New York Times on March 19 2006.

Throughout my time in Iraq I was in no doubt that individuals detained by UKSF and handed over to our American colleagues would be tortured. During my time as member of the US/UK Task Force, three soldiers recounted to me an incident in which they had witnessed the brutal interrogation of two detainees. Partial drowning and an electric cattle prod were used during this interrogation and this amounted to torture. It was the widely held assumption that this would be the fate of any individuals handed over to our America colleagues. My commanding officer at the time expressed his concern to the whole squadron that we were becoming “the secret police of Baghdad”.

As UK soldiers within this Task Force a policy that we would detain individuals but not arrest them was continually enforced. Since it was commonly assumed by my colleagues that anyone we detained would subsequently be tortured this policy of detention and not arrest was regarded as a clumsy legal tool used to distance British soldiers from the whole process. During the many operations conducted to apprehend high value targets numerous non-combatants were detained and interrogated in direct contravention of the Geneva Convention regarding the treatment of civilians in occupied territories. I have no doubt in my mind that non-combatants I personally detained were handed over to the Americans and subsequently tortured.

The joint US/UK Task Force has broken International Law, contravened The Geneva Conventions and disregarded the UN Convention Against Torture. British soldiers are intimately involved in the actions of this Task Force. Jack Straw, Margaret Beckett David Miliband, Geoff Hoon, Des Browne, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown. In their respective positions over the last five years they must know that British soldiers have been operating within this joint US/UK task force. They must have been briefed on the actions of this unit.

As the occupiers of Iraq we have a duty to uphold the law, to abide by the Geneva Conventions and the UN Convention Against Torture. We are also responsible for securing the borders of Iraq on all counts we have failed. The British Army once had a reputation for playing by the rules. That reputation has been tarnished over the last seven years. We have accepted illegality as the norm. I have no doubt that over the coming months and years increasing amounts of information concerning the actions of British soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan will be become public. Whilst the majority of British Forces have been withdrawn from Iraq, UKSF remain within the US/UK Task Force.” [my emph.]

The government responds to Griffin by apologising and committing to prosecute all individuals responsible for this atrocity attempting to silence him. The obvious conclusion? Labour is lying once again.

Cross-posted at The Heathlander

The Myth Of Maverick McCain

Myth of Maverick McCainJohn McCain’s image, as propounded by his spinners (aka: the Media) is that of a maverick who shuns political opportunists and slaps the hands of greedy, special interest self-promoters. It’s an image that gets projected repeatedly by pundits and lazy journalists whose writing seems to be on auto-pilot. They reason that if it was said it about him last year (or last century), it must be true this year as well. This flawed logic even extends to government watchdog groups.

The Austin American- Statesman reports that McCain is circulating a letter from Public Citizen that attests to his commitment to good government:

“We are compelled to note something that has been lost in the recent criticism of Sen. McCain’s association with lobbyists: Regardless of how many lobbyists are working on his campaign or raising money for him, John McCain fought for 14 long, hard years for reforms that seriously limit lobbyists power.”

“Regardless of how many lobbyists…” ??? That’s an awfully broad stroke of forgiveness, ya think?

The “recent criticism” mentioned is probably a reference to the New York Times article detailing McCain’s relationship with Vicki Iseman, a telecommunications lobbyist. Unfortunately, the blowback on the article has been focused on the salacious shenanigans instead of the more substantive financial ones. Still, Public Citizen is articulating a surprisingly positive assessment of a man that scored only 15% on their most recent congressional voting scorecard. What’s more, WhiteHouseForSale.org, a Public Citizen spinoff, ranks McCain as the candidate receiving by far the most contributions bundled by lobbyists.

McCain Lobbyists Bundlers

Yet Public Citizen still praises McCain for his past efforts while dismissing his present indiscretions. I suppose that, once upon a time, Public Citizen would defend the Unabomber because he was once a respected mathematics professor at Berkeley. For his part, McCain dodges charges of hypocrisy by stating simply that his lobbyists are different, they’re better:

“These people have honorable records, and they’re honorable people, and I’m proud to have them as part of my team.”

Media Matters has compiled an extensive profile of the McCain team, and it is littered with political and corporate glad-handers who stand to gain much via their relationship with McCain. This is true whether or not McCain becomes president. He is still a member of the Senate and sits on powerful committees including Commerce and Armed Services.

The presence of such a large contingent of lobbyists on McCain’s payroll raises some troubling questions. These are people who don’t do anything without expecting something in return. Indeed, they have clients who are paying them to produce returns and thus have a fiduciary duty to deliver. Is the press asking that question? And what happens when these staffers go off payroll, as has occurred in the course of McCain’s fiscally-strapped campaign? When lobbyists are working for nothing to advance the interests of a powerful politician, doesn’t that at least suggest an appearance of impropriety? Given that these lobbyists earn hundreds of thousands of dollars, isn’t their unpaid work as principal managers of McCain’s campaign also an unreported contribution? Has the press addressed that issue?

The right-wing criticism of the New York Times story seems to have effectively inoculated McCain from such inquiries. Even though the critics targeted the Iseman affair, their impact has sunk down into any topic covered by the story, including the accurate assertions of McCain’s coziness with lobbyists. McCain’s initial response to the Times displayed an indignant belligerence that promised that, “We’re going to go to war with them now.” But the very next day he changed his tune saying:

“I had a press conference yesterday morning and I am moving on and am talking about the big issues […] I addressed the issue. I addressed every question that was addressed to me. And I do not intend to discuss it.”

Well, that war was much shorter that the 100 years he would have us in Iraq. However, the press must not accept his refusal to discuss the issue of lobbyists attached to his campaign. This is one of the primary arguments he makes for his candidacy, and it is at the center of the image he wants to project to voters. It must, therefore, be at the top of any journalist’s list of issues to raise with the Senator. And if it isn’t, then the press should file it’s own declaration of an in-kind contribution to John McCain and his campaign folklore.

Where Is This 3 Trillion Dollar War Taking US?

Frankly, I am glad I am not Barack Obama. But if ever this country needed someone of his intellectual capacity, strategic brilliance, ability to bring people together, it will be the first day he steps into the Oval office And brothers and sisters I am here tell you, the deep shit hole Bush has left us in will require not just Obama but a team of equally brilliant people to begin to address how we, as Americans, are going to climb out this seeming insurmountable abyss and turn our country around. But there is Obama and for that reason I have hope.

I cannot do this Diary’s title justice – but I read an article, no a brilliant summation, late last night in The Guardian that does. Entitled The True Cost of War, it is a review of a forthcoming book, The Three Trillion War, and has been written by Nobel prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz

http://www.guardian.co.uk/prof…

It is a blistering account of negligence and greed as it breaks down exactly what this war has cost to date – 3 trillion – how it is affecting the global economy – how the bush administration had absolutely zero, no, notta strategy for going about this war, and I suppose one of the worst parts – what the money could have been used for instead and I am not talking tax breaks. What this book – and frankly this article, accomplishes is helping the reader understand what the next President will inherit on day one.

   

Here’s the good news – and it is important for those of us already committed to electing Obama as our next President:

He has already put feelers out to Stiglitz to have a position in his cabinet should (I say When) he becomes President. And I have no doubt there are other brilliant people he is speaking to as well.

I’d like to close with a personal comment to Hillary Clinton before you all go off and read this MUST READ article:

Hillary, the reason you are not more prepared than Obama to fill the Oval office on Day One – as your campaign has tried and failed – to sell over this Primary season – is evidenced by the strategy upon which you based your own campaign. And a very faulty one at that:

(1) Selling Top Down doesn’t work in Contemporary America – this only comes in handy when abusing power; we have been transformed forever by the Internet into a grass roots, community styled, progressive force that will inject itself into American politics for decades to come;

(2) The American people have been forced to grow up under the severe abuses of the Bush Government and its total destruction of both our constitutional rights and economy; The American people rose to this challenge, crept out one by one from under their rock of fear the Bush Administration would rather they had stayed behind and got educated – very damn educated. From big city to farms from red state to blue state, we have gotten very fucking educated all right and that makes me proud. It also shows a grand and wrong assumption about your campaign. It’s not the 90’s anymore. We are not counting on a Clinton to clean up a far more complicated far more disastrous Bush mess. We are counting on ourselves led by a competent leader.

(3)It has often been said by your staffers that you speak specifics while your opponent speaks in terms of lofty ideals. Well listen up Bill and Hillary:



I have listened carefully to all those crafted sound bytes you provide the American people during the debates that are an attempt to sound very specific. At first you had me fooled. But as I have watched over 10 debates I have come to a stunning conclusion – at times you are “dumbing down”  Obama’s ideas so as to co=opt and make them your own in simplistic language. You also dumb down your own ideas into sound bytes that on the one hand may make you sound ‘specific’ but on the other hand sell the American people short on their ability to understand the complexity of our current situation. It hasn’t worked.


This has proved to be a fatal miscalculation of your campaign- and it will be even more so for Cain. Barack Obama is the first leader since FDR who does not talk to the American people as if we are all in Kindergarten. He speaks with the fulcrom of his intelligence and invites us into the conversation.

THAT is the leader we need in the oval office on day one and America is smart enough to know it.

Thanks for listening.

I’d Like to Report A War Crime, Please ………….Updated.

No, not a new one. Nothing breaking.

I would just like to please talk to whoever is in charge of these things. Can you please direct me to the correct window? Tell me what forms to fill out?

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As I understand it….which is vaguely, even though I have read a bit, Waging aggressive war is a war crime, systematic torture is a war crime, and mass murder is a war crime. or perhaps a crime against peace,  or a crime against humanity which seems to be a legal distinction. Legal distinctions are of course important. Which is why, of course, Bushco has done its best to cover its patently criminal ass with them.

Update: Maybe the Brits will be the key. Transcripts of Blair’s Cabinet Meetings Ordered Released, by markthshark

Bush and Cheney and company manufactured and twisted and possibly forged (Niger) evidence, and lied to the American People and the world and the UN….bald faced, straight up lies….in order to gain the support they need to aggressively invade a sovereign nation. And kill people, including civilians. The killing continues to this day.

They then turned a prison which had been the symbol of the brutality they so nobly overthrew…. with their own brutality. Going so far as to transfer their torture expert from Guantanamo to Abu Ghraib to lend his methods to the systematic torture there.

Due to the invasion that they manufactured and ordered, thousands and thousands of civilians have died. Millions were turned into refugees. And five years later chaos still reigns. They broke it, they bought it, but they haven’t done a thing with it. They are incapable of fixing it. They have not installed an effective government, they have not ‘won’ the war, they have not resolved any of the underlying problems and stresses that cause the violence, and they have only achieved some semblance of stability by pouring an unsustainable amount of troops…from an already overstressed military…into putting out the worst of the fires. The violence continues (and let’s not forget the unprecedented control they have over what gets reported) and there is no working government, the alleged rationale behind the unsustainable “surge.”

In other words…more simple words with fewer legal distinctions…..Bush ginned up a rationale, invaded a SOVEREIGN COUNTRY, has laid it to waste, terrorized its population, and has done practically nothing effective to restore its government or even basic services for the population.

So…………..who do we call to have these folks arrested?

Apparently, nobody. The greatest victory a terrorist can ever have is terrorizing any one who would challenge his crimes into silence. The terrorists have won. So far.

It’s been going on for an eternity. So long that folks have run out of things to write about it. The nightmare has become reality, there is a madman loose upon the world and nobody dares to call him mad.

Except us.

Keep yelling, no matter how long it takes. This cannot stand.

Now, where are those forms?

Pony Party….patience

I love spring. It is an exercise in patience rewarded spectacularly.

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for the wind to blow

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for the wind to blow

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for my seeds to grow

I been walkin’ on the ground, waitin’ for the guns to quit

I been walkin’ on the ground, waitin’ for the guns to quit

I been walkin’ on the ground, waitin’ for the pieces to fit

better get back to the country, look around and find you a home

better get back to the country, look around and find you a home

better get back to the country, that’s where we all come from

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for the wind to blow

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for the wind to blow

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for my seeds to grow(whew!)

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for my seeds to grow

I been standin’ on the rock, waitin’ for my seeds to grow


Thanks for stopping in, so glad You’re here …. (yes, YOU!)

this is an open thread… relax.. Hang out and chit chat awhile…

and when you’re done  check out some of the excellent offerings on our recent and rec’d list.

O &… Please don’t rec the pony party, another will trot up in a few hours.

(^.^)

on love and leaving

 

I’m not sure why I associate the two.  Actually I am, I just default to saying that because it’s easy.  I like to move when my heart is broken, but I’ve also left when it’s not.  Sometimes by my own admission, sometimes because it was just the way things were going that year.  I do have a home.  I didn’t realize it (more like admit to myself) until over christmas this past year.  We’d moved so much when I was a kid and I moved a few times during college that I forgot how long my mom had kept still.

Sitting at the kitchen table, worn down and holding on.  Just looking around.  Remembering raiding the pantry for food, friends coming and going after school.  Fighting, loving, talking.  Just lost in thought.  She said to me, “Nothing ever changes here does it?”.  That crack in the wall above the pantry was still there.  Same size, same shape.  Every dish arranged.  I’d stared at it a million times in a thousand different ways.  It was the same.  Except now the siding on the house is worn out, the trees cleared in the back.  The barns get older.  Time slowly wearing it all down.

But there was my kitchen table and there was my mom.  And there was my food and there was the floor I’d walked on.  It’s not mine, or hers.  But it’s ours while we’re there.  One day when I have the money I’ll buy the house.  Until then it’s my home.  

When I worked during school I would wake up early to have coffee with my mom on weekends.  We rarely had time to sit down and talk, but we tried anyways.  I still miss it.  10 am on Sundays (I always told my job I went to church and couldn’t work until the afternoons).  We stopped actually going to church years before on Easter Eve.  I had already threw a fit and quit sunday school the year before that.  My mom still insisted we go to church on Sunday mornings (being the ‘good’ Roman Catholics that we were), which slowly moved to Saturday evening when she started dating again, which moved to never again after a 3 hour marathon of blessing everything in god’s creation while holding cheap candles set in paper cups with a hole poked in the bottom.  

Organized religion is so weird sometimes.  

I’m going to be leaving my residence in a month or so and I realized it’s been a while since I moved last.  Quite possibly I’ve spent more time here than anywhere else in my life.  For the first time I’ve felt a twinge of nervous.  Not too much though.  But enough to make me second guess myself and enough to make it hard to keep trying.

But I’m tired of this town, I don’t know the people and it reminds me that I’ve been sad for quite a while.  There’s nothing to do, nothing to see and I’m bored beyond what I am capable of handling.

I’m fighting with my sisters which wears me down endlessly.  I’m currently trying to convince one not to get married and the other that $80 a week for groceries is not overspending because even milk and bread are expensive.  No one takes advice when they need it, but sometimes they remember it later.  And I’m the oldest….so I have to.

At least I’m getting all my federal taxes back in a refund this year!  Plus the $600 “Sorry we’ve been fucking you” poor people stimulus package bonus prize.  Which makes me feel really secure about the future of the economy.  No one has gotten anything worthwhile since that other shitty poor people tax stimulus package that bought off the country through a terrorist attack, two wars and a hurricane.  Now all of a sudden they’re handing out money again?  How much worse is it going to get exactly?

In the meanwhile I now have enough to buy a dress I may or may not wear in a color and style that is not appropriate for anything other than a wedding I don’t want to go to.  And I’ll also have enough leftover to get myself out of this stagnant town.  If I could afford it I would donate it all to MoveOn.org out of spite.  It feels a little like blood money to me.  But isn’t it all I guess?

My best friend wrote me an email the other day freaking out about owing money in on her taxes this year.  Her day culminated with verbally berating a homeless guy about the shitty state of the country while pumping gas at $3.25 a gallon.  Very, very unlike her.  But things have been strange lately.  

I did buy myself a little red dress the other weekend because I haven’t had something nice in a while and it’s almost my birthday 🙂  For christmas I got a record collection and a breakup.  New Years I was scrubbing down the walls and bemoaning the loss of my cable tv.  Valentines day I got a small salvation army couch from a friend and lent out my Eddie Izzard collection.  I quit smoking (2 ½ months now!) and have job opportunities lining up.  It seems as if I’ve been living some sort of life.  Hmm… interesting.

I thought it would be different.

I’ve already sifted through all my memories and paperwork.  Everything is sitting here waiting to leave in boxes and I have this knot inside of my stomach that’s slowly growing.  Every time the future seems about right something changes.  So far I’ve been keeping up, but one wrong bump and it could all go tumbling again.  I’d pick up the pieces of course, but it’d be nice to skip that part for once.  I’m getting tired of chasing a dangling carrot and building character.  Actual results would be nice.

But I’m impatient, or I guess better yet I’m anxious.  Not just about the job and moving but about a lot of things.  I can barely read the news anymore, but I do just because I have this compulsion to check and make sure everything didn’t totally implode while I wasn’t looking.  I blame “9-11 changing everything”.

Every time I leave though I’ve moved up one little step.  One small step closer to the life I wish I had.  Better apartment, better town, better school, better job, better me.  I’ve left some things behind, but try not to burn bridges unless I have to.  I’ve gotten used to having my past call me up later and apologize.  Lucky me.  I’m amazing when I’m gone.

This time though I’m hoping to stick around where I’m going.  I really like the view so far and I can’t just wonder around forever…. Yeah, maybe this time.

Iran and Democracy

A nice, short primer on the 1953 coup and its consequences.

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