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Obadiah and Jeremiah

Obadiah said to Jeremiah,

“It’s time to buy a

New supply ‘a

Rope and wire.”

Jeremiah said to Obadiah,

“Why rope and wire?”

Martin Luther King in Burn-My-Hand

A long time ago, way down south, there was a town called Burn-My-Hand. The mayor of the town was Ali Baba and although he could be mayor, which really isn’t that hard when you think about it, he couldn’t cook to save his life. Every time he went to cook something, he burnt his hand. That’s why they called the town Burn-My-Hand, Ali Baba.  

roman polanski: that sucker needs to go right to jail

I just read this:…

Thinking about this man’s defense of Roman Polanski made me flip me top. This man really needs to learn something. The minister of culture in France should resign and Polanski should to go to jail. Who do these people think they are?

Did he get the IDs of these “boys” to make sure they were 18? No? Then resign.

on Santa Claus, a Platonic Dialogue

My son is 7 and has his doubts about Santa. He’s kind of been fooling himself for years because he wants to believe.

Not believing in Santa is a rite of passage and not considered a big deal. But Ollie immediately concluded that if there is no Santa there is no soul and that when you die, you’re gone.

I don’t know what I believe about the soul but I was upset to see my son throw the soul out with Santa. Should we throw Santa under the bus to preserve the soul? Would that be honest? Can I honestly make a case for Santa? Can I honestly make a case for the soul if I deny Santa?

I let it go. We all go back and forth on these issues and as sure as he sounded the day he declare there is no Santa and no soul, he’s likely to change his mind as time goes by. But when the issue comes up again, I want to have thought the thing through.

I am unlikely to be alone in this situation. I offer the dialogue below to anyone is a similar bind.

I resolved the soul-Santa dilemma with Plato. That’s right: Plato. A platonic dialogue on Santa.

Ollie did say much of what I have him quoted as saying, about Santa and the soul, about the light in the trees… only I didn’t have Socrates to help me out at the time.

My Man Connie Tuck

I was talking to the Mohawks who come to the Harvest Festival at the Martin Van Buren house every year and thought about the names of the places around here again. Here is upstate New York. It’s really wrong to name things after lousy people who don’t deserve respect like Henry Hudson and Peter Stuyvesant.

It’s not PC: there is simply nothing good about either of these creeps. Why do I have to speak their horrid names every time I talk about where I live and the river that runs through the great state of New York? Can’t we just get rid of the residue of evil? Giving a name to a place is an honor. Hudson and Stuyvesant do not deserve the honors. One was a murderer and the other a tyrant.

Here are my alternative suggestions for names:

Hudson should be Mimancanituck (pronounced My Man Connie Tuck)

Stuyvesant should be Hodgson, in honor of the Flushing Remonstrance promoting religious freedom against Stuyvesant’s religious tyranny.

Can’t we simply rename our own town and declare, for what it’s worth, that the Hudson should be called My Man Connie Tuck from now on? I would vote yes.


breaking: Socrates had it coming

If I had been in that jury in Athens in 399 BC I would know that the right thing to do would be to vote to acquit Socrates. But when push came to shove, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have voted to have him executed out of pure spite.

breaking: Judas was framed: Simon Peter did it

“Out of Egypt I will call my son,” says the prophet, so Mary and Joseph, in Matthew, make a detour to Egypt.

“Born of a virgin,” Matthew reads in the Greek translation of the scripture, so he invents virgin birth. If he had been able to read the original Hebrew, he would have realize the word was not virgin. Whoops!

Christianity doesn’t make any sense. Now, onto the evidence recently recovered from the sands of Egypt which definitively prove the innocence of Judas Iscariot…