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No one’s talking about prosecuting Cheney, any more. Lots of distractions, these days. I hope the congress hasn’t forgotten about how important that is, too. All the happy talk in the world isn’t going to make everyone who lives outside our borders forget that we’re now officially a nation that tortures. Prosecuting the master mind under existing law would go a long way toward ending that (accurate) perception.

Waterboards for ALL!

So I’m talking to my wife and she says, “If water-boarding’s not torture, why don’t we do it to kids who misbehave in school?”

I’m thinking of putting together a petition and going door-to-door. Present it to the local PTA with a few thousand signatures on it. Maybe they’ll build “The Dick ‘Dick’ Cheney Waterboarding Our Children Memorial Wing” onto the school? Make it big enough to do 20 or 30 at a time.

So what else can we use waterboarding for, since it’s not torture?

Should I waterboard the dog when he pees on the rug? The neighbor’s kid when he keeps throwing his damned ball in my yard? (“GET OFF MY LAWN!”)

How ’bout letting cops waterboard criminals who won’t confess? Speeders? People who ride a bike without a helmet?

Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments.

“Waterboarding. It isn’t just for breakfast, any more.”