Big Balloon Parade!

What?! You don’t have one in your home town?

You see, the thing you big state people have to understand is that no place in Connecticut is more than an hour and a half away. My Aunty Mame used to ask me, “So, do you hang out in New Haven (home of Benedict Arnold, my favorite traitor) much?”

Hell no! It’s like 45 minutes!

Anyway, this is what I think of every time I drive into Stamford-

I’ve never done the parade in person (I don’t like crowd scenes, it’s usually quite cold, and c’mon- 45 minutes!) but I’m told it looks something like this-

That’s the 2014 edition, this year’s is not posted yet. As you can see the highlight and unique feature is when the balloons do a 360 degree spin in front of the old Town Hall (now only a historic building, the new Town Hall is just another faceless glass cased brick of drones).

This year they added two new balloons, Kung Fu Panda and Daniel Tiger, for a total of 14 and 10 marching bands with the usual floats and smaller balloons. The event drew around 120,000 spectators.

Not bad for Stars Hollow.

Oh, you thought I was talking about that other parade run by the giant retail conglomerate Macy’s with employees who are invited to spend 72 sleepless volunteer hours setting up and marching and THEN work an 8 hour shift with the nasty Black Thursday masses to get a jump on the Holiday, this is where you make your bucks in retail (and the last 8 years have been terrible, don’t believe the lies), Season.

Merry whatever- I’ve worked that, fortunately in Shipping and Receiving which meant I didn’t have to deal with the blood on the floor except to mop it up. Sit your nasty asses on the couch and sleep through some Throwball why don’t you?

Anyway, that fiasco will see the return of Sinclair Oil’s Dino mascot (Yay Climate Change!), a new Ronald McDonald (do you want fries with that?), Scrat and Acorn, and Angry Bird’s Red. There will be a total of 16 big balloons and 12 marching bands.

Stars Hollow not looking so shabby now, is it?

Of course there will be the usual show casing of Broadway stars in Herald Square for which you will want to watch the NBC coverage, unfortunately Justin Bieber was a last minute cancellation (I will pause for your collective aww…).

If you want to see things first tune into CBS which films further up the parade route, the festivities should be starting right about…



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  1. Vent Hole

  2. Conga

  3. Thank the Peons

  4. I’m watching NBC which generally has better coverage

  5. Finn and Jake

  6. The King and I

  7. Cavalier Marching Band from someplace West Virginia

  8. Newsboys?

  9. Something Rotten

  10. Gulf Coast High School

  11. Fiddler on the Roof

  12. Angry Bird

  13. The Wiz

  14. Rockettes

  15. Macy’s All Star Marching Band (supplemented by alum because they couldn’t get enough?).

  16. Oh sure, because Thanksgiving is not meaningful and memorable without Macy’s.


  17. Scrat and Acorn

  18. Jordan Sparks in front of a giant toy (available for $29.95 @ Macy’s)

  19. Finn & Jake

  20. Stephen F. Austin Marching Band

  21. Sesame St. (now on HBO)

  22. Hello Kitty

  23. Some cheerleading squad

  24. New Spirit of America (ugh)

  25. This Song is About You cover

  26. Wimpy Kid

  27. Ok, I’m a snob for not covering the National Dog Show. I do Westminster damnit and Throwball!

  28. Ronald McDonald and his Marching Band

  29. Cracker Jack float

  30. Kool Aid Man

  31. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

  32. Hmm… Macy’s uses 200,000 pounds less Helium than Stamford

  33. Power Ranger Red

  34. NYPD Band

  35. SE Asian Indian dancers

  36. Anthem Cruises

  37. Northwest HS Band

  38. Spongebob

  39. Cirque de Soleil

  40. Wall Lake Central HS Marching Band

  41. Unfortunately, bad.

  42. Eruptor

  43. The Yellow Peril (Yunan, China)

  44. Fat Dancers

  45. KFC

  46. Angry Bird Red

  47. Munford HS Marching Band

  48. Avocados and Thomas the Tank Engine

  49. Rope Jumping

  50. Sprout

  51. Nogales HS

  52. Paddington

  53. Lewis the Duck, mascot of an extended stay motel

  54. Big Apple Circus

  55. Mr. Peanut

  56. Lewis Cass HS (over a third of the student body is a member).

  57. Also terrible

  58. Bill the Bear

  59. Sophia Carson

  60. A visit to New York. Thrilling. I’ve been in a New York Hotel room and I have a bigger closet.

  61. Toothless and Lindtz

  62. And now their real commercial

  63. FDNY

  64. Harold the Fireman

  65. Daily News Big Apple

  66. Dino, first time in 40 years.

  67. Gibson

  68. North Hardin HS

  69. Mount Rushmore and a “Christian” rock band.


      • BobbyK on November 26, 2015 at 11:36

      You know what happens when you play Christian rock backwards. …

        • BobbyK on November 26, 2015 at 11:42

        Your punch line here.

  70. Ugh. Country.

  71. AFLAC Duck

  72. Ocean Spray has a new float

  73. West Chester University

  74. University of Illinois

  75. Snoopy

  76. Hallmark

  77. Santa. Not soon enough for me.

    This is a horrible parade, naked in it’s commercialism and greed. I have a much more positive attitude about the Rose Parade.

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