Hi, I’m from the FBI, Can I Have Some Brain Tissue


I have a subpoena.

Really I do.

Also, I have a nice shiny drill.

But miss Bin Ladin, I have a subpoena.

No, scratch that, no need:

There is no Ms Bin Ladin, look wiki says he has all brothers.

But wait.

Look again.

It gets better.

Tissue samples taken from his corpse had provided virtually a “100 per cent” match with relations, including a sister who died from a brain tumour in a United States hospital, according to White House sources.

Now, all the papers says he has a sister, most report in Boston, whose name is ‘unknown,’ but that they retained her brain tissue, because you know, American hospitals have peoples brain tissue, even if they don’t know your name, and wiki says you don’t exist.

No worries there, though, a wiki edit is soon to happen.

Oh look:

Yahoo “Does Osama have a sister?

“this answer has been deleted”

5 minutes later:

Yes, he did. She had cancer and died. They took her DNA so if they caught Osama they could be sure that was him. He was the real Osama after they shot him in the head twice and tested his blood.

4 hours ago

Wait, wait, if this answer happened four hours ago, how come it changed 5 minutes ago?

In fact how come all the answers were posted ‘four hours ago’

My head hurts.

That’s OK.

The FBI has a drill.

Cures headaches.

Hold on.

Um, Sir.


Do Navy Seals know how to extract brain cell DNA before dumping bodies shot in the head and chest at Sea?


Yes they do.

All Navy Seals are taught this procedure in Basic, right after learning abut hypobaric decompression, just before mixed gas diving.

Next Question.

My head hurts.

We have a drill for that.  


  1. and become (marginally) more plausible, or to be forgotten entirely.  

  2. the NYT/Rag is now saying that since ‘DNA is only partially shared with a sibling’..  ‘experts are saying that DNA is likely from a parent or a child’


    So..no brain DNA subpoena after all?

    What a surprise.

    You can’t make this sh*t  up.

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