god fucking dammit…THANK YOU

Ive always known I would get this call… for years.

god god god fucking dammit.

my ex-husband … crazy mutherfucker … one of the dearest soul friends I could ever have. I rarely see him but he’s always there, floating around in my conscious watery mind.

fuck

no info just yet… waiting for that. Sometime between last night and this morning. Word will come through the vine, when they know. Body at the ME’s now.

Im shaking.

UPDATE: 7:30PM:  Found in a field, not far form his sculpture studio, maybe on his way to the store for coffee, pullin’ an all nighter. Thoughts / suspicions of foul play (or something weird) lessened now considerably.

On Walkabout. Or  a Vision Quest maybe.

A FB’r posted: “The Harris County Medical Examiner’s office has a tentative ID, they are waiting for fingerprints to confirm. That is standard practice. The autopsy was completed today and a preliminary finding will be available tomorrow, I will post more when I find out. ”

He was one of the original Urban Animals. Among other things.

The Tribe is gathering at the Pub, guess Ill head over there. this weekend.

THANK YOU ALL for your love and sweet thoughts. Muchly appreciated.

Godspeed, my friend.

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UPDATED: 10PM… some folks are starting to upload some pics into a FB group now. This one is just so funny. He used to joke about wanting to find a Lime Green Leisure suit… he liked to piss off the snotty Elitist Art World whenever possible, so a find like this jacket was quite a thrill for him. I decided to title this pic (its not my pic) …“Dancing With Hunter”. He was an avid reader and could recall details from books that he read 20 years ago in impressive detail. Kerouac, Hunter, Tom Robbins… the usual suspects.

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50 comments

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  1. …  damn.  sorry.  {{{{{  lady libertine  }}}}}

  2. So sorry, LL!  http://planetsmilies.net/sad-smiley-363.gif

    • Edger on March 8, 2010 at 5:57 pm

  3. Well, the smart money’s on Harlow

    And the moon is in the street

    The shadow boys are breaking all the laws

    And you’re east of East St. Louis

    And the wind is making speeches

    And the rain sounds like a round of applause

    Napoleon is weeping in the Carnival saloon

    His invisible fianc is in the mirror

    The band is going home

    It’s raining hammers, it’s raining nails

    Yes, it’s true, there’s nothing left for him down here

    Chorus:

    And it’s Time Time Time

    And it’s Time Time Time

    And it’s Time Time Time

    That you love

    And it’s Time Time Time


    • RiaD on March 8, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    gha!

    BIG hugs to you sweetie

    ♥~

    • RiaD on March 8, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    may you hold them in your heart for an eternity

    ♥~

    • TMC on March 8, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    LL, I am so sorry. My second husband is not well. We don’t speak to each other very often because we never got along. I keep in contact with his sister but I know some one of these days, I will get that call.

    May the Goddess guide him on his journey to the Summerlands. May you, his family and friends find Peace.

    Blessed Be

  4. hugs…

  5. this is very weird, no idea what happened. strange kind of limbo. And Im not connected internetly with that circle of folks.  He has a son who is 30-something (kid was 6 when we met)… I guess its falling to him…

    I cant really talk about it yet. We were … connected.  In a “toss me a lifeline” kind of way.

  6. I`m sorry for the loss to you & his  family.

  7. so sorry for your loss

  8. it’s so hard when your connected by love past and present. Don’t know what to say what can one say except I feel so sorry you have to go through this. May you find peace with this and heal your heart. At least you were friends and shared a piece of each others life, your grief is a tribute to him.    

  9. I got a bad feeling about this.

  10. I am so sorry I would feel the same way if I got that call about my ex.

    For you……

    • Diane G on March 8, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    They always hold a piece of us, even when we break free of them, don’t they?

    Its an odd feeling, these losses; and my heart is holding yours right now.

    I am so sorry, dear, love you!

    Diane

  11. The soul aches with a sudden loss of an old, dear partner on the journey of life. Blessings to you LL

  12. I hope the love and respect everyone in the Docudharma community has for you provides some comfort in this time of grief and sadness.

  13. I’m very sorry.

    • rossl on March 9, 2010 at 4:00 am

    Take care, LL.

  14. walking on water …something he always aspired to learn  how to do. 😉

    Photobucket

    • Joy B. on March 9, 2010 at 5:43 am

    I am so sorry. You don’t love someone enough to be that intimate and build a life together and not grieve when they’re gone no matter where life takes you from there. My She-girl super-strong thoughts are with you.

  15. I’m wishing peace of mind for you and for all who are grieving.  

  16. very sorry…

  17. “…. .one of the dearest soul friends I could ever have”.

    I saw an eagle yesterday, gliding above the hiils,….when I first read your essay that’s what came to mind.

    • Xanthe on March 9, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    The loss of a friend and of a companion from your youth is hard – rock hard.

    May the eternal light shine upon him –  

  18. Myths and legends die hard in America. We love them for the extra dimension they provide, the illusion of near-infinite possibility to erase the narrow confines of most men’s reality. Weird heroes and mold-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of “the rat race” is not yet final.

    — HUNTER S. THOMPSON, 1937-2005

    Can I just say…?: I hate people. lol. Girl posts this announce on FB:

    We are moving ahead in our grief, to honor the complicated, slag covered life of our friend MM, the weekend of March 27-28, afternoon bbq and love fest, place to be determined. Anyone who wants to bring food, help etc. is of course, welcome beyond words. First, a gathering this Friday from 5-9 at Rudz, as Z requested.

    And she’s not even one of his (many) ex GF’s.

    whats wrong with people?

  19. The uncertainty must make it even more horribly sad and disorienting. Aloha and peace to you.

  20. because I do NOT believe for one second this was a suicide.

    Not totally verified yet but apparently thats what the ME’s ruling is… and info is that he was found hanging by a rope from a tree limb. Several blocks from his studio. In the wee hours of the dawn.

    I dont buy it.

    And neither do his other close friends. It just makes NO SENSE. Doesnt add up.

    No note.

    He’s been in a bad depression (GF dumpage) and binge drunk and maybe ?other? substances but he would not do this , not at all and not like this. Not to his son. Or to his mother.

    You’d have to be fairly lucid to plot and plan that out like that.

    No way. er, no FUCKING way.

  21. I didn’t want to get to personal about me, but WTF, my dad died a week ago so I know how you feel.  

  22. …the fruit tree out my window has been blooming lovely small white blossoms for the last few weeks. Now the wind is blowing them to the ground to make space for the next growth.  And somehow, pain and sorrow, great beauty and great joy, life continues moving through every color of the rainbow.

    Heal with Love!

    • TomP on March 10, 2010 at 9:02 pm

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