Olympic Alternatives VI

You thought I was not serious?

I’m dead serious.  The only way to effect change is through sacrifice (changing your habits) and protest (telling people what you think, publicly).

Plenty of other stuff out on the Hypnotoad.  Just look-

The Hypnotoad.

"Television is a vast wasteland"

Mid-Afternoon Update.

Early Evening Update.

Late Evening Update.

Late Night Update.

What are you doing Update.

Here’s a list of things (not comprehensive) I think more worthy of your eyeballs.

Instead of Ski Cross and Men’s Biathalon on NBC or Women’s Curling on MSNBC

9:30 E! Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami 2:00
10:00 TLC Moving Up 2:00
10:30 Oxygen Snapped 1:00
11:00 TV Land Boston Legal 4:00
11:00 USA Casino Royal 2:00
11:00 Lifetime The Proposal 1:00
11:00 MTV My Super Sweet 16 1:30
11:00 ABC Family The Prince & Me 1:30
11:30 Bravo Shear Genius 1:30
11:30 Comedy Barbershop 2: Back In Business 2:00
11:30 TCM Lust for Life 1:30
12:00 AMC Mystic River 3:00
12:00 FX Invincible 2:00
12:00 SciFi Showdown At Area 51 2:00
12:00 TBS High Fidelity 2:00
12:00 Travel Bizarre Foods w/ Andrew Zimmern 4:00
12:00 CBS College Basketball 2:00
1:00 Spike CSI 4:00
1:00 ESPN PBA Mixed Doubles Bowling 2:30
1:00 Lifetime They Shoot Horses Don’t They? 3:00
1:00 TNT Resident Evil: Apocalypse 3:00
1:00 VH-1 Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp 2:00
1:00 ABC Cleveland @ Orlando 3:30
1:30 ABC Family The Prince & Me 2 3:30
1:30 TCM Bridge Over the River Kwai 4:30
2:00 Comedy Beverly Hills Cop 4:30
2:00 E! Keeping Up With the Kardashians 10:30
2:00 FX Gridiron Gang 5:30
2:00 Food Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives 4:00
2:00 SciFi Reign of Fire 4:00
2:00 TBS The Ringer 4:00
2:00 USA Ocean’s 13 4:30
2:00 A&E The Green Mile 5:00
2:00 Fox Sprint Cup Auto Club 500 7:00
2:00 CBS WGC-Match Play Championship 6:00
2:30 ESPN Bassmaster Classic in Birmingham 4:00

I think Oxygen only has the one program.  Today’s Snapped Marathon is only 14 and a half hours.  By comparison the 8 and a half hours we spend Keeping Up With the Kardashians doesn’t seem long at all.

A pretty serious movie day, depending on what you like.  Outside of the obvious blockbusters like the new Bond (Daniel Craig), Kirk Douglas, Eastwood, Pollack, Guinness, Cloney, Hanks, Murphy, and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, I’d like to direct your attention to two quirky little movies- The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and High Fidelity with John Cusack.

And for me the only Casino Royal is the 1967 version despite what Roger Ebert says.

There is also lots of NBA Basketball (which I don’t much care for), NASCAR (which you need not watch until 6:30 or so unless something exciting like an asphalt failure happens), and PGA Golf without Tiger Woods.

My personal favorite is PBA Mixed Doubles.  It’s always fun to wear rented shoes.  Be sure and stay tuned for Bassmasters, it’s classic.

Instead of Men’s Hockey on NBC

3:00 AMC The Queen 5:00
3:00 Spike DEA 10:00
3:00 Animal Planet AKC/Eukanuba National Championship 09/10 6:00
3:00 History 9/11 Conspiracies: Fact or Fiction 5:00
3:00 Lifetime Intimate Stranger 5:00
3:00 Discovery Egypt’s Ten Greatest Discoveries 5:00
3:00 TLC Untold Stories of the E.R. 7:00
3:00 TNT Deep Impact 5:30
3:30 ABC Family Another Cinderella Story 5:30
3:30 ABC Boston @ Denver 6:00
4:00 Food The Best Thing I ever Ate 5:00
4:00 Nick Spongebob Squarepants 6:00
4:00 SciFi Predator 6:30
4:00 TV Land Andy Griffith 9:30
4:00 TBS The Sweetest Thing 5:30
4:30 Comedy How High 6:30
4:30 TCM Doctor Zhivago 8:00
4:30 USA Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End 8:00

Well, the History Channel is for Lasthorseman, just like I’m keeping my eye out for Cash Cab.  Pirates of the Carribean finale is double featured with its second first installment The Black Pearl (which I think is a better movie).  Five and a half hours of Opie, 7 hours of DEA.

You really need this update because Men’s Hockey is so fucking boring and it’s the only game in town.

Instead of Men’s Curling on CNBC

5:00 Food Ace of Cakes 6:00
5:00 A&E CSI 8:00
5:00 History Pawn Stars 7:00
5:00 AMC Philadelphia 8:00
5:00 Lifetime Ann Rule’s Everything She Ever Wanted 9:00
5:00 Discovery Secrets of Egypt’s Lost Queen 7:00
5:00 VH-1 Celebrity Rehab w/ Dr. Drew 7:00
5:30 FX XXX 8:00
5:30 TBS Hitch 8:00
5:30 TNT The Chronicles of Riddick 8:00
5:30 ABC Family The Notebook 8:30
5:30 Toon Johnny Test 7:00
6:00 Bravo Law & Order 2:00
6:00 Nick iCarly 7:00
6:00 MTV 16 and Pregnant 8:00
6:30 Comedy Scary Movie 8:30
6:30 SciFi Sunshine 9:00

Looks to be a big Tom Hanks night on AMC.  Philadelphia is followed by Forrest Gump.  Lifetime has a thing for Ann Rule, double feature with Too Late Say Goodbye which is repeated at 11:00.  Discovery definitely has an Egyptian theme going, coming up is a double dose of Tutmania.  8 Hours of Criminal Intent on Bravo.

Vin Diesel fans will find their attention split by TNT and FX.  Will Smith fans will see Independence Day doubled up after Hitch.

Instead of Men’s Hockey on MSNBC or Ice Dancing, Men’s Super G, Men’s Ski Cross, Women’s Speed Skating, and Bobsled on NBC

7:00 Animal Planet Planet Earth 6:00
7:00 Food Food Network Challenge (x 2) 9:00
7:00 History American Pickers (x 2) 9:00
7:00 Toon Son of The Mask 9:00
8:00 A&E Criminal Minds 4:00
8:00 AMC Forrest Gump (x 2) 2:00
8:00 ESPN Atlanta @ Golden State 10:30
8:00 Discovery King Tut Unwrapped: Royal Blood (x 3) 2:00
8:00 Nick Drumline 10:00
8:00 TBS American Wedding (x 2) 11:30
8:00 TCM On The Waterfront 10:00
8:00 TNT Independence Day(x 2) 1:30
8:00 USA Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl 11:00
8:30 ABC Family Step Up 11:00
9:00 Lifetime Ann Rule’s Too Late to Say Goodbye (x 2) 1:00
9:00 SciFi Children of Men 11:00
9:00 Food Iron Chef America 10:00
9:00 History Ax Men (x 2) 11:00
9:30 TV Land M*A*s*H 12:00

Well we now know more about Discovery, the Egypt thing is an all day hype for King Tut Unwrapped.  And evidently it’s Forrest Gump week on AMC.  You know, there aren’t many movies I’d like to see 7 times in a row and Forrest Gump is certainly not one of them.

This schedule is shot through and through with repetitiveness which I’ve attempted to note with (x 2).

This schedule is shot through and through with repetitiveness which I’ve attempted to note with (x 2).

8 hours of Criminal Minds, 11 HOURS of Planet Earth.

I hope someone somewhere likes it a lot.

Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.  Honestly.  It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly…  stupid.

Instead of Women’s Curling on CNBC

10:00 Food Chopped 11:00
10:00 TCM North by Northwest 12:30
10:00 Spike Entourage 12:00
10:00 Toon King of the Hill 10:30
10:30 ESPN Portland @ Utah 1:00
10:30 Toon Family Guy 11:30
11:00 Food Throwdown w/ Bobby Flay 12:00
11:00 SciFi Alone in the Dark 1:00
11:00 USA House 12:00
11:00 FX Archer 11:30
11:30 Toon Venture Brothers 12:00
11:30 TBS The Sweetest Thing 1:30

Perchance to Dean.  Aye, there’s the rub.

NNW is the pick of this litter, but like The Matrix we reload at Midnight.

Instead of Men’s Hockey on MSNBC

12:00 Food Iron Chef America 1:00
12:00 TV Land Roseanne 2:00
12:00 USA Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End 3:30
12:30 TCM To Catch A Thief 2:30
1:00 Food Chopped 2:00
1:00 SciFi Caprica 2:00
1:00 Toon Frisky Dingo, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law 1:30
1:00 History Ax Men 3:00
1:30 TCM The Ringer 3:30
1:30 TNT Deep Impact 4:30
1:30 Toon King of the Hill 2:30
2:00 AMC Dances With Wolves 6:00
2:00 Food Throwdown w/ Bobby Flay 3:00
2:00 VH-1 Celebrity Rehab w/ Dr. Drew 4:00
2:30 Toon Family Guy 3:30
2:30 TCM The Solid Gold Cadillac 4:30

Oh, you need this update.  I keep running across this as I change channels and it’s not very entertaining at all.

Instead of Women’s Curling on MSNBC

Pfft, who am I kidding?  I got nothing.  It’s 3 freaking am, this is the what are you doing update.

3:00 SciFi Living Hell 5:00
3:30 Toon Venture Brothers 4:00
4:00 TV Land Three’s Company 6:00
4:00 ESPN Cleveland @ Orlando 6:00
4:30 TCM Executive Suite 6:00

Me, I’ll be taking a nap.  Tomorrow’s promotions are programmed and TheMomCat has graciously offered to take over Afternoon Edition for the day.

See you at noon for Men’s curling- USA v. Canada.

I’ll finish with a funny Golf story.

I’m not very good and I play with this guy who’s a stickler- “You know, you hit that branch on your backswing.  That’s a stroke.”

The reason he hates me is because when we come to a water hazard I’ll tee up and waggle the driver and make elaborate preparations.

Then I’ll pick up the ball, look at him and casually say, “So where’s the drop?”

We should concede now.

That way I could sleep in.

This part still under construction, expect updates.

All of them far more worth your eyeballs than NBC and its horrible coverage.

This isn’t even political, except for the lesson in activism.

Am I serious?

Dead serious.

Email- [email protected]

Oh Rose, have something to eat.

Two hundred thousand years in the future he’s dying, and there’s nothing I can do.

Well, like you said, two hundred thousand years, it’s way off!

But it’s not!  It’s now.  That fight is happening right now!  And he’s fighting for us, for the whole planet, and I’m just sitting here eating chips!

Listen to me!  God knows I have hated that man, but right now I love him, and do you know why?  Cause he did the right thing, he sent you back to me!

But what do I do every day, Mum?  What do I do?  Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed, is that it?!

It’s what the rest of us do.

But I can’t!

Why, cause you’re better than us??

NO, I didn’t mean that!  I just…  But it was.  It was a better life!

And I don’t mean all the travelling, and seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don’t matter.

The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life.  You know, he showed you too!

That you don’t just give up!  You don’t just let things happen!

You make a stand, you say no, you have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away.

I want to make it very clear that you can use this thread to talk about the Olympics all you like.

I will be watching something else.

And you’re perfectly free to post your own essay, I might even promote it.

But to those who say that it doesn’t matter, that now that NBC has its advertisers ratings mean nothing, you couldn’t be more wrong.  They have guaranteed those advertisers a certain number of eyeballs and if NBC doesn’t make their numbers they have to give their sponsors free advertising until they do.

You have power.  You just have to have the willpower to use it.


Skip to comment form

  1. With any luck there will be flaming chunks of twisted metal.

  2. Might as well concede now.

  3. I was perusing my son-in-law’s 900 channels of directTV.  In total mostly society destroying stuff, diversionary time wasting sports or places to sell you cheap useless stuff.  The singular interesting channel is RFD, which has tons of programming relative to Apocalyptic horses.

    More interesting about multi-channels of TV is what is not there.

    Why not programming from other countries?  Globalists don’t want you to know much about that stuff.

    Why not even a small percentage of adult educational programming?  No, TV has that purpose of telling you how you must think.  One-way communication proles are just supposed to lap it up.

    Much like a cheap Chinese made pair of ViseGrip pliers every aspect of life shall become the same.

    Far more than a traditional generation gap now it is whole shows written by Satan’s highest minions programming highly destructive thought patterns into the innocence of the younger generation.  A social engineering effort to Clockwork Orange a model New Songdo mega-city carbon gulag.

  4. …Not really, but I watched a minute or so the other day.  Some of these pros are entertaining in a moronic kind of way, their histrionics and over the top enthusiasm, making catching a bass on par with catching a winning TD pass.

    Definitely a subculture of some kind, and  they do release the fish back into the lake /river.

    • TMC on February 21, 2010 at 18:41

    is now on live on NBC.

    About Freestyle Skiing

    Freestyle skiing consists of two events – aerials and moguls – and both are markedly different from traditional Alpine skiing.

    In moguls, competitors ski fast, while also negotiating a field of snow bumps and performing tricks off two jumps. The goal is to carve a clean, controlled path down the slope, but also to impress the judges with acrobatic feats. Scoring is based on turning technique (50 percent), aerials (25 percent) and speed (25 percent). Sixteen skiers advance from the heats to the finals, where scores from the previous round are thrown out.

  5. of watching it. What a bizarre sport curling is. The Canadians seem to love it. I kinda like the sports that are historically weird and whose origins go with the culture and region from where they came.  Like tree hurling and log rolling. So strange to see them in modern all duded up in in corporate logos, equipment and costumes. We all now belong to corporate tribes. They shouldn’t give Johnny Weir a hard time because he’s a Russophile, as national, like amateur has been replaced by corpoate money pumping and owning the whole spectacle.      

    ‘The game of curling is thought to have been invented in late medieval Scotland, with the first written reference to a contest using stones on ice coming from the records of Paisley Abbey, Renfrewshire, in February 1541. Two paintings (both dated 1565) by Pieter Bruegel the Elder depict Dutch peasants curling-Scotland and the Low Countries had strong trading and cultural links during this period, which is also evident in the history of golf.’    

  6. The US has conceded at 9 – 2 in the 7th end and they talked a lot about replacing the skip who’s father is the coach, but who also has not been able to throw a draw in…

    well, like ever.

    • TMC on February 21, 2010 at 22:24

    this isn’t the only web site that is pissed about NBC’s lack of live coverage of skiing. Seems that the FiveThirtyEight folks are miffed, too.

    NBC’s Oly programming becoming even harder to comprehend. Why not show the skiing live — especially on an f’ing weekend.

    Ans since ek is REALLY boycotting, Bodie Miller has won his first Olympic Gold in the Super Combined.

  7. Jimmy Johnson in the lead.

    Not that it means anything at this point.

  8. Listen to me.

    Yes, I lied to you.

    No, I don’t love you.

    Of course it makes you look fat.

    I’ve never been to Brussels.

    It is pronounced egregious.

    By the way, no. I’ve never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies.

    And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?  

  9. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.

    I said no lies.

    I think he’s telling the truth.

    If he were telling the truth, he wouldn’t have told us.

    Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn’t believe the truth even if he told it to you.  

  10. US v. Canada?

    2 – 1 at the end of the first period.

  11. Bassmasters has exploding confetti.

    And the requisite NFL “I want to thank God” speech.

  12. The upside down canoe scene is impossible.

    Too much bouyancy.

  13. that he is seeing “bonus” coverage again.

    This means the US women have conceded to Sweden.

    The skip was shooting 3rd but much better he says.

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