The Final Papers Came Today 20090901

The final draft of the papers came this evening.  I inspected them, then printed them to carry to the bank where I do business to get the notary seal on them.  Then I will go back to the house and scan my signed copy to keep a record of it.

Then off the the Post Office, to send my signed and notarized set back the the attorney.  I am told that in a week or two everything will be dissolved.

Dissolved.  Like salt or sugar in water.  Like a snail with salt on it.  Like my emotions any more.  Just dissolved.

It is for the best.  I have never been the kind of husband that anyone would want.  I never made over $150,000 per year (the best that I ever did was $120,000, and put lots of it into retirement accounts, which were divided under this agreement).  I only was the father for three boys who are doing fine (most of their doing fine is to the credit of whom will soon the former Mrs. Translator).  I only taught all of the boys, and her, how to work on a house and on a car, when any of them were ready to pay any attention.  Usually I just did it by myself, since no one else was interested in learning since I would do it every time.  A couple of the boys did pay some interest.

Well, I am not going to do it any more.  They all know how to drive a screw to repair things.  Two know how to use a volt/ohm meter to check out electrical things.  All three (just talking about children now) know how to conjugate verbs properly so not to seem a fool.  I was always very harsh about that, but to good ends.  Communicating without seeming like an uneducated fool is important.

I taught them to read, by reading to them and showing them the letters that form words.  All three read very well, and one writes extremely well.  The other two write very well, just that one has that as is gift, not any slight towards the other two.

The all three are very good musicians.  We (wife included here) bought them musical instruments, not cheap ones, and they learnt how to play them well.  Middle Son even got a musical scholarship to a public college, but because of a genetic disorder with his spine could not march properly.  So much for that, but I love him very much.

At least all of the children are over the age of 18 years.  That makes things easier, but I do not think that either the soon to the former Mrs. Translator or I would have used them as pawns.  She is too good for that, and I like to think that I am, but I am not an honorable person.  She is.

She has been very fair in her requests for a settlement, and I have no quarrel with her requests.  Around 98% of this whole sad situation is my fault, so I fault her not at all.  But it is a sad, sad day for me, and for her, I am sure.

Later this morning I shall shower, shave, and take the papers that her attorney sent be to my bank where I do business and sign and have them notarized.  Then I will return here and scan them so I have a record of the saddest papers in my life.  Nest to the Post Office, to send them to her attorney and to send them as “certified mail”, to make sure that the attorney gets them in good order.  Then I just wait for the date for the deed to be done, sometime this month, and wait to receive the final decision from the judge.

For the first time in my memory, there will be no Thanksgiving celebration dinner with everyone “home”.  There is no “home” now, just my house and hers.  There will be no Christmas celebration, either, except for perhaps a “Hello” to the boys over the telephone.  I will have to adjust to a life alone, with telephone calls now and then from the boys, and from her now and then.  It is funny, we are still friends, and I try to help her as much as I can.  I just do not know if I have the stomach to do her taxes for her this time, as I have done since 1977.  We shall see.

I never want either of us to be enemies, but being friends will be a challenge for both of us.  But I promise that I will not be ugly to her, and you can see from this essay that I have never said a harsh thing about her.  It is just a very, very sad situation.

Warmest regards,


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  1. This is just sort of getting emotions in order.

    Warmest regards,


  2. I went thru a divorce with younger kids.  Shed my share as well, but I got thru it and am better for it. Hang in there.  

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