The Teabaggin’ Parties Are Already Working

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

I love the smell of People Power in the morning!  The overwhelmin’ tide of grassroots anger came to a climax yesterday with the Teabaggin’ protests all over this great country of ours.  Millions and millions of patriots were out there makin’ their voices heard and scarin’ the socialists silly with their message of “Stop Governing!” and by the way “Stop the Gays From Gettin’ Married!”  And don’t think this is just talk — we’re forcin’ action to be taken at the very highest levels of the liberal governing elite.

For example, you may remember the total sham from a few weeks ago when Docudharma took away my trusted user status under the laughable excuse of performin’ “software enhancements.”  Well, I am happy to report that the Teabaggin’ protests have so frightened our liberal Docudharma overlords that they have restored my trusted user status!  We DO have the power to stand up to oppression!

And there is an even bigger victory as a result of the Teabaggin’ protests.  Ron Paul is takin’ advantage of this populist anger and wants to heavily arm it.  Paul’s idea is to hire ordinary citizens and send ’em into international waters to fight pirates:

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) and a growing number of national security experts are calling on Congress to consider using letters of marque and reprisal, a power written into the Constitution that allows the United States to hire private citizens to keep international waters safe.

Used heavily during the Revolution and the War of 1812, letters of marque serve as official warrants from the government, allowing privateers to seize or destroy enemies, their loot and their vessels in exchange for bounty money.

This is BRILLIANT!  Everybody knows ya have to fight fire with pirates . . . erm, I mean you have to fight pirates with fire . . . no, that’s not it either . . . all I know is that one way or another guns are the answer.  Also we wouldn’t be tyin’ up our Navy, with all its ridiculous rules of engagement, but instead creatin’ an unregulated free market of pirate justice.  That’s why the teabaggers are lovin’ this idea — stop wasting our tax dollars and let the free market handle it!  

I’m with ya, Captain Ron!  First of all, callin’ it a goofy name like a letter of marque is pure genius.  To a liberal that just sounds like a wimpy request written in French.  Second, this could put my constant fear of Russian invasion at ease, knowin’ that I could send private citizens into the Bering Sea and nip that invasion in the bud.  Also third, it would be a great way to stimulate the economy.  It creates jobs on Day One without waitin’ for shovel-ready projects (although hittin’ the pirates with a shovel at the ready would be perfectly fine).

So let’s all show our support for Ron Paul by prayin’ for him and his plan:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We’re in a real pickle here, Lord!

We have the mightiest fightin’ force the world has ever seen,

But these darn pirates are makin’ fools of us with rubber rafts.

It’s kinda like when Luke Skywalker destroyed the Death Star.

Ya see, Lord, the Death Star was a huge ship run by The Galactic Empire,

But Luke flew in with a tiny X-Wing fighter,

and destroyed it with one shot to its reactor.

So we’re askin’ Ya, Lord, to help Ron Paul and his plan,

He wants to send bounty hunters out there to fight pirates.

It’s kinda like when Boba Fett, the bounty hunter,  

was hired to bring Han Solo in to Jabba the Hutt.

It worked out great, O Lord, for Jabba the Hutt,

and Ron Paul’s plan should work out just as well!

Amen.

17 comments

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  1. I can bring the guns and the ammo.  Also somebody needs to bring beer.

    • Alma on April 16, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Well, I am happy to report that the Teabaggin’ protests have so frightened our liberal Docudharma overlords that they have restored my trusted user status!

    We don’t seem to have missed much.  How many sites can boast so few hidden comments?

  2. Now I’ll be chuckling as I get ready for work.

    • geomoo on April 17, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    They must have worked, because you sure came out swinging.

    I can see Governor Palin standing bravely in the prow of a privateer manned by an impressed crew.  Damn, that is one hot image.

  3. `Come, we shall have some fun now!’ thought Alice. `I’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles.–I believe I can guess that,’ she added aloud.

    `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?’ said the March Hare.

    `Exactly so,’ said Alice.  

    `Then you should say what you mean,’ the March Hare went on.

    `I do,’ Alice hastily replied; `at least–at least I mean what I say–that’s the same thing, you know.’

    `Not the same thing a bit!’ said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that “I see what I eat” is the same thing as “I eat what I see”!’

    `You might just as well say,’ added the March Hare, `that “I like what I get” is the same thing as “I get what I like”!’

    `You might just as well say,’ added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, `that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep when I breathe”!’

    `It is the same thing with you,’ said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn’t much.

    The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?’ he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

    Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.’

    `Two days wrong!’ sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!’ he added looking angrily at the March Hare.

    `It was the best butter,’ the March Hare meekly replied.

    `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,’ the Hatter grumbled: `you shouldn’t have put it in with the bread-knife.’

    The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It was the best butter, you know.’

    Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. `What a funny watch!’ she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!’

    `Why should it?’ muttered the Hatter. `Does your watch tell you what year it is?’

    `Of course not,’ Alice replied very readily: `but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long time together.’

    `Which is just the case with mine,’ said the Hatter.

    Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I don’t quite understand you,’ she said, as politely as she could.

    `The Dormouse is asleep again,’ said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.

    The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.’

    `Have you guessed the riddle yet?’ the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

    `No, I give it up,’ Alice replied: `that’s the answer?’

    `I haven’t the slightest idea,’ said the Hatter.

    `Nor I,’ said the March Hare.

    Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,’ she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.’

    `If you knew Time as well as I do,’ said the Hatter, `you wouldn’t talk about wasting it. It’s him.’

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