Help Me Fight the War on the War on Christmas!

( – promoted by buhdydharma )

I feel kinda sorry for Bill O’Reilly whenever Christmas rolls around.  Each year he bravely wages the War on the War on Christmas while the rest of America goes shoppin’ there in the malls, sayin’ “Happy Holidays!” to each other like a bunch of socialists.  The baby Jesus wasn’t born on a happy holiday, people!  He was born on Christmas!  Well, probably not, actually:

The Bible itself tells us that December 25 is an unlikely date for His birth. Palestine is very cold in December. It was much too cold to ask everyone to travel to the city of their fathers to register for taxes. Also the shepherds were in the fields (Luke 2:8-12). Shepherds were not in the fields in the winter time. They are in the fields early in March until early October. This would place Jesus’ birth in the spring or early fall. It is also known that Jesus lived for 33.5 years and died at the feast of the Passover, which is at Easter time. He must therefore have been born six months the other side of Easter – making the date around the September/October time frames.

OK, so Jesus might have been born on Oktoberfest.  Maybe that’s why the Germans drink so much.  They’re celebratin’ the joyous birth of Our Lord the way God intended — NOT by puttin’ stupid decorations on a tree and bakin’ cookies!  

What was I talkin’ about again?  Oh, I remember!  Mr. O’Reilly has found yet another outrage this year in the War on Christmas:

Now it is certain governments that are the problem, with one incredible situation in Washington State. At the state capitol in Olympia there is a display featuring a Nativity scene, a holiday tree, and now a sign denigrating religion that was put up by atheists. The sign says religion is ‘myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.’ This is political correctness gone mad. There’s no reason whatsoever to allow an anti-religious sign to be posted alongside a Christmas display. The buck stops with Governor Christine Gregoire, who refused to even issue a statement about this. She is a weak, confused leader who is allowing a small fanatical group parity in Christmas displays. Washington State is ground zero for just about every nutty secular cause on Earth, but this time the state has embarrassed itself and the nation.

Can you believe the nerve of these atheists?  They’re tryin’ to ruin a perfectly nice Christian nativity scene on government property with some stupid “freedom-of-speech” argument, or some “separation of church and state” argument, or whatever nonsense the ACLU is feedin’ ’em this time.  O’Reilly is right — allowin’ parity between Christians and atheists is an embarrassment to the state and the nation!  This is a Christian nation, and that means we Christians have more parity than the atheists.  And don’t go thinkin’ that us Christian conservatives are bigots about this stuff.  Just listen to one of my friends at

… I will say to everyone Merry Christmas. The Jewish people can wish me a Happy Hannukkah, and the blacks can wish me a Happy Kwanza and etc…

See what he’s doin’ there?  Not only does he allow the Jews and the blacks to speak to him, he’s willing to tolerate their goofy religions!  Well, maybe “tolerate” is too strong of a word, but he’s not sayin’ he’s gonna punch ’em in the face for not sayin’ “Merry Christmas.”  And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?      

You don’t think this is important?  Say, for example, not as important as our economic troubles?  Well, you couldn’t be more liberal.  Daniel Henninger of the Wall Street Journal lays the blame for our bad economy right where it belongs:

This year we celebrate the desacralized “holidays” amid what is for many unprecedented economic ruin — fortunes halved, jobs lost, homes foreclosed. People wonder, What happened? One man’s theory: A nation whose people can’t say “Merry Christmas” is a nation capable of ruining its own economy.


It has been my view that the steady secularizing and insistent effort at dereligioning America has been dangerous. That danger flashed red in the fall into subprime personal behavior by borrowers and bankers, who after all are just people. Northerners and atheists who vilify Southern evangelicals are throwing out nurturers of useful virtue with the bathwater of obnoxious political opinions.

Now, if you’re like me you had to look up desacralized in the dictionary (along with “subprime” and “virtue” and “bathwater”).  It means “to divest of sacred qualities or status.”  What an awful (by which I mean liberal) word!  We must not let the liberal atheist elite take the sacred qualities out of our Christian nation, to replace it with some Godless commercialized worship of the winter solstice.  It is the birth of the baby Jesus that moves me to give gifts to my loved ones.  I don’t give a rat’s backside about the sun goin’ down early.  Heck, in Alaska we’re used to not seein’ the sun for months at a time, and we don’t go runnin’ to Wal-mart when it happens to start buyin’ presents for everybody!

What can you, the average patriotic Christian, do to help win this war?  Here’s some helpful Dos and Don’ts for ya.


…say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” to everyone, even if they ain’t patriotic Christians.  This is a season of giving, so give those heathens a lesson in just who this country belongs to!

…watch the outstanding reports on Bill O’Reilly’s program from the front lines of the War on Christmas.  And why not do your shopping at the Bill O’Reilly Christmas Store this year?  Premium memberships are on sale for only $49.95/year!  

…buy the new Caribou Barbie “War on Christmas” greeting cards.  A sample:


…let the Democrats’ recent victory get ya down this Christmas!  Start to fight back with a patriotic Caribou Barbie 2012 t-shirt available for only $28.50!  They’re sellin’ like hotcakes after I single-handedly won the Georgia Senate race for that guy.

…play the heathen War on Christmas online game.

…play this one either.


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  1. May God bless you on this upcoming birthday for His kid!

  2. Ah well back to my shrimp cocktail. ;-7

  3. at starting wars, Barbie.

    Wanna weigh in on the one going on between Parker and Dobson?

  4. Keep an eye on the rising sun around the Solstice (sun stands still). The first day you’ll see it rise further north on the eastern horizon (if you live north of the equator) is December 25th, which is the day that you will know the days are truly growing longer, and the light is returning to the world. It is the birth of the Sun, not the son. Oh, but how our ancient myths and astronomical observations do get confused over the long years.

  5. Winter Solstice to you too Bill-O.

    Praise the Season of stomping overnight Walmart security guards to death!!  In Jesus’ name. Amen.

  6. bathwater of obnoxious political opinions


    Spiro T Agnew

    I nominate this quotation for the Spiro T. Agnew Award, bestowed every now and again (by me) on the Rethuglicans who keep “nattering nabobs of negativity” like me smiling.

  7. …Gregoire is seen as rather conservative in these parts.  But my part of the state did our bit for the White House tree!


  8. And I was jest missin’ yer yoonique voice lately.  Glad ta have ya back: ‘n’ on the front page, too!

  9. And who could possibly pout or cry with you and Bill O’Reilly and what’s his name?–Daniel Henninger?–on the lookout, making sure the peace and goodwill stay right out of Christmas where they belong!  Everything you three watchdogs say makes me smile, not to mention giggle, or bust right into outright belly laughs!  : )

  10. In their attempt to form the one world New World Order the Illuminati has to sanitize entire belief systems and all traditions.  

    Not content with Christmas this year they started on Thanksgiving with the ruse that Native Americans were offended because Thanksgiving celebrated an Indian massacre.

    One world,fascist corporate controlled microchipped, population “managed”, world.

    • Robyn on December 5, 2008 at 3:02 pm

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