Tag: Mars

Humanitarian Intervention My Ass

It wasn’t me. I had no part of it. I was nowhere near the place. I was on the other side of town at the time. I tried to tell them it was not a good idea and that they shouldn’t try it, but they just wouldn’t listen.

(Reuters) – Capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela’s socialist President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday.

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

Chavez, who also holds capitalism responsible for many of the world’s problems, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up.

“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.

He added that the West’s attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves.

Buzz Aldrin calls for “an American colony” on Mars

Buzz Aldrin, the second person to walk on the moon, writes in an opinion piece at the Washington Post that “it is time we were bold again in space.”

Aldrin’s vision, “Time to Boldly Go Once More“, advocates creating an American colony on Mars in 20 years. He believes if the United States space program “avoided the pitfall of aiming solely for the moon, we could be on Mars by the 60th anniversary year of our Apollo 11 flight.”

Aldrin thinks NASA plans to re-explore the moon is a “dead end”. Instead, Aldrin says we should commit our nation to establishing “an American colony” on Mars.

Martians Demand Special Prosecutor For Bush War Crimes

Martians are smart people too, but they fart a lot it seems, and it’s given them away after hiding for eons.

Yesterday NASA scientists reported in Live Blogging The Mars Methane Mystery: Aliens At Last?, blogging at Blogs.DicoverMagazine.com that:

…they recorded plumes of methane rising from the surface of the Red Planet. Working back from their measurements of methane in the air, the researchers pinpointed some particular spots on Mars where the methane came from. And it’s a lot of methane they’re talking about-19,000 metric tons of the stuff in one plume.  It’s coming out of Mars at the same rate seen at methane-producing spots on Earth.

Those places on Earth happen to be places where microbes are churning the gas out. There might be other ways of getting plumes of methane into the air-generating it from magma, for example. But in a paper published today by Science, Mumma and his colleagues point to the possibility that microbes buried a mile or two under the surface of Mars might be responsible. There are certainly analogs here on Earth-or here under Earth. On our planet, scientists can study these deep microbes by traveling down through mine shafts. Sending the equipment to dig a mine shaft on Mars might be a wee bit expensive, unfortunately.

So-what’s going on?

What’s going on, you ask? Well, it turns out that after the Martians had been successfully hiding from Earthlings for billions of years, the Bush/Complicit Democrat/PNAC/Neocon faction that hijacked the US Government eight years ago and turned it into a murderous planet wide hegemonic killing machine of imperialism has finally pushed the Martians just a little too far, according to recent leaks by CIA spooks eager to save themselves from inclusion as defendants in war crimes prosecution of Bush, Cheney, Pelosi, Reid, and others.

This morning, less than a day after the NASA scientists reported the likelihood of life on Mars, their conjectures were confirmed incontrovertibly.

We are not alone in the universe. And apparently the rest of the universe is just as pissed as we are.

This morning another leak from another spook, this time in the State Department, has confirmed that a Diplomatic Communique was received from Mars addressed to the Bush Administration overnight.

Why would Martians talk to the Bush Administration you ask? Without even any pre-conditions?

It turns out that with all the recent media attention on a Special Prosecutor to investigate and prosecute Bush and Cheney and others, the Petition For A Special Prosecutor has apparently made its way to Mars too, along with old television transmissions of The Prisoner with famed British actor Patrick McGoohan (RIP), and has been enthusiastically received there.

The Martian Diplomatic Communique was delivered in the form of one single image transmitted through NASA’s Mars Exploration Rover, and is reproduced below…