A Docudharma correspondent recently caught up with Hoover Institution’s very own Brain Trust, Daniel Pipes, for a Q&A on the polymath’s ever-evolving views on a wide range of critical topics.
Q: What are your thoughts on Barack Obama’s first year in office?
A: I don’t customarily ask Presidents to bomb Iran, but I’ll make an exception, in this case: Bomb Iran!
Q: You describe the Obama administration as “tottering.” What do you mean by this?
A: Obama can only salvage himself by bombing Iran.
Q: In what ways do you find this administration “ruefully deficient?”
A: They have failed to bomb Iran.
Q: What’s the one sure-fire way this administration could pass your “laugh test?”
A: Bombing Iran.
Q: Domestically, shouldn’t Obama be sharply focused on a collapsing economy?
A: Not without a devastating first-strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities.
Q: You have said that Obama “needs a dramatic gesture to change the public perception of him as a light-weight, bumbling ideologue, preferably in an arena where the stakes are high, where he can take charge, and where he can trump expectations.” Are you talking about health care reform?
A: Obama can give orders for the U.S. military to destroy Iran’s nuclear-weapon capacity.
Q: Is there any way for Obama to live up to George Bush’s legacy, piss off liberals, AND make conservatives swoon?
A: An overwhelming air strike to annihilate, crush, demolish, lay waste and raze to a nub Iranian nuclear sites.
Q: I know you are pressed for time, seeing how you are constantly creating and refining fresh and staggering public policy ideas at Hoover. Let’s sample some of your more wide-ranging thoughts outside of the partisan political arena using a lightning round of free-association. I’ll say a word or phrase, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Okay?
A: Bombs away.
Haitian earthquake –> Bomb Iran
Wall Street reform –> Bomb Iran
Tim Tebow –> Bomb Iran
Cadbury Eggs –> Bomb Iran
M51 spiral nebula –> Bomb Iran
Punxatawney Phil with shadow –> Bomb Iran
Punxatawney Phil sans shadow –> Bomb Iran
Thank you , Daniel Pipes, Homo universalis.