Daniel Pipes sees own shadow, nuclear winter ahead.

A Docudharma correspondent recently caught up with Hoover Institution’s very own Brain Trust, Daniel Pipes, for a Q&A on the polymath’s ever-evolving views on a wide range of critical topics.

Q:  What are your thoughts on Barack Obama’s first year in office?

A:  I don’t customarily ask Presidents to bomb Iran, but I’ll make an exception, in this case: Bomb Iran!

Q: You describe the Obama administration as “tottering.”  What do you mean by this?

A:  Obama can only salvage himself by bombing Iran.

Q:  In what ways do you find this administration “ruefully deficient?”

A:  They have failed to bomb Iran.

Q:  What’s the one sure-fire way this administration could pass your “laugh test?”

A:  Bombing Iran.

Q:  Domestically, shouldn’t Obama be sharply focused on a collapsing economy?

A:  Not without a devastating first-strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

Q:  You have said that Obama “needs a dramatic gesture to change the public perception of him as a light-weight, bumbling ideologue, preferably in an arena where the stakes are high, where he can take charge, and where he can trump expectations.”  Are you talking about health care reform?

A:  Obama can give orders for the U.S. military to destroy Iran’s nuclear-weapon capacity.

Q: Is there any way for Obama to live up to George Bush’s legacy, piss off liberals, AND make conservatives swoon?

A:   An overwhelming air strike to annihilate, crush, demolish, lay waste and raze to a nub Iranian nuclear sites.

Q: I know you are pressed for time, seeing how you are constantly creating and refining fresh and staggering public policy ideas at Hoover.  Let’s sample some of your more wide-ranging thoughts outside of the partisan political arena using a lightning round of free-association.  I’ll say a word or phrase, and you say the first thing that comes to mind.  Okay?

A:  Bombs away.

Haitian earthquake –> Bomb Iran

Wall Street reform –> Bomb Iran

Tim Tebow –> Bomb Iran

Cadbury Eggs –> Bomb Iran

M51 spiral nebula –> Bomb Iran

Punxatawney Phil with shadow –> Bomb Iran

Punxatawney Phil sans shadow –> Bomb Iran

Thank you , Daniel Pipes, Homo universalis.

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