Author's posts
Jun 01 2009
The Further Adventures of Cyber Command
WASHINGTON – The Pentagon plans to create a new military command for cyberspace, administration officials said Thursday, stepping up preparations by the armed forces to conduct both offensive and defensive computer warfare.
Uh-oh.
May 29 2009
Postcard from Cuervonaca
This is a true story. Almost. And it’s almost a work of fiction, but not quite. I should know. I was there.
May 14 2009
America’s Little PR Problem
Wow, this Oval Office is pretty cool.
Hey, guys, listen up. We’ve got a little PR problem. Not a big one. Hey, we’re America, right? We’re too big to fail. We can weather this storm. This wasn’t on our watch. But, guys, listen up, we cannot release those pictures from Abu Ghraib. And it’s not about endangering the troops, though use that old canard if you want, what endangers our troops is being a troop in occupied territory, but guys, Mr. President, please, these photos, raping kids in front of their parents and the like, well, sirs, it just wouldn’t go down well with, well, with anyone with a conscience.
May 11 2009
Death by Orgasm
Three Self-Evident Truths:
ONE; Fantasy is always better than reality
TWO; Life is always better than death
THREE; Sex is a drug
Who dares to disagree?
Apr 27 2009
The Torture of Dick Cheney
THE TORTURE OF DICK CHENEY A Play in Two Scenes
Caution; the scene of interrogation might seem a tad bit harsh.
The Play begins below. Please turn off your cell phones. No flash photography. Thank you and enjoy the show.
Apr 21 2009
Aliens Among Us
WASHINGTON, DC — April 19, 2009 — Retired navy captain and Apollo XIV astronaut Edgar Mitchell today called for the U. S. government to disclose to its citizens and other Earthlings what he asserts are the realities of long-standing extraterrestrial visitations and interactions with our planet.
Like duh, my parents ate totally from outer space. But it’s like God don’t you think? Don’t you think if She existed She’d have show Her face by now? Merciful my ass. The world used to be full of gods and now what? Now demagogues are all we can muster.
Apr 20 2009
Another Postcard from the Drug War
This is a true story. Almost. And, it’s almost fiction. But not quite. I should know, I was there.
Apr 17 2009
Fanning the Fools and Flames
I love my job. It’s like Pavlov’s dogs. After a while you don’t actually have to throw red meat at them they just start salivating, barking and going berserk merely by tinkling the bell of jingoist propaganda and flickering images of patriot-fairies dancing in their heads.
How ironic; each village was supposed to have one idiot and now we have entire villages full of them. It’s not their fault really. It’s like rats on a treadmill. You ever wonder why they use so many lab rats, mice and monkeys all because they’re working on a better life for human beings?
Do I have to connect the dots for you? Okay. You asked for it. But don’t take my word for it. I’m a propagandist and I work for them.
Apr 15 2009
Home from the Teabag Rebellion
All right! High fives all around! Wow! What a rush. Every Tax Day should be Revolution Day. I can’t wait till the next one. Remember what Jefferson said, “the Tree of Liberty shall be watered with the blood of tea-baggers every April 15th.”Well we certainly made a statement didn’t we? We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore. I feel like going to an alehouse and signing a petition and pinching a wench. Yeah, resistance is good and the timing is perfect right after March Madness and before the NBA Finals. As Robert Duvall said, “I love the smell of Revolution in the morning!”
So, anyway, what’s for lunch?
Apr 13 2009
Postcard from the Illuminati
Cheney’s DNA has gone viral, like twitter, and spread across red-meat America. Lying dormant through the Bush years, seething since Clinton “got away” with it, and now ready to bloom into full blown metastasized paranoid, hysterical hatred for all things not God and Guns.
Nevermind the contaminated Cheney Virus does not possess the god gene. But because the gun gene tends toward overkill we have a cancer which eats piety and excretes scorn like Church Bells in Hell.
All in all, gentlemen, things have not gone so smoothly and according to plan since the Elders wrote the Protocols. Weishaupt was a genius and all hail to the ONE.
