Forking Philosophy! Get a job hippie!

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
’bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his dram.

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
“I drink, therefore I am.”

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed.


Or, to summarize Proust-

Foreshadow much?

What Utilitarianism does not recognize is that ethical behavior includes personal growth. In the trolley problem self sacrifice is a given, a coven of Nuns represents conventional virtue and a baby represents the unknown.

Am I going to chose the future? Of course I am. I’ll figure out problem two when I do, surfing my way out… Kismet.

Some people think it’s just a stupid show.