Slow Play

Folks, I golf so I know just how it is. You want to do a deal so you call your Greens Keeper with whom you’re on a first name basis and set up a Tee Time, around 10ish so your (prospective) partner has enough time to stop at the office and pick up his weekday clubs and answer his email without being rushed before you hit the links.

Because it looks silly to golf in a three piece you stop at your Clubhouse locker for your knickers and lucky argyles from the pro shop at St. Andrews and your trendy Cabby Cap, then you head out to the first Tee where your target fellow golfer, Carts, and Caddies are waiting, but not too long. You didn’t have to stop for stogies because the Refreshment Cart with its Frosties and Humidor normally catches up by the 2nd Hole and you don’t want to get too sloppy too early.

You and your buddy share a Cart because you’re talking business– “Did you hear the one about the Rabbi, the Priest, the Minister, and the Hooker?” “Oh, that’s funny. I reminds me of this one with a Buddhist Monk.” “”Hah, hah, hah. Right Action. I’ll bet it was ‘Right Action.'”

Everything is going swimmingly and you’re totally on track to hit the 19th Hole for a late lunch and paperwork signing with time for a Sauna and a Shower when you get to the Tee Box and there’s a Foursome in front of you.


You might have to wait a full five minutes and you can’t tell any of your really good jokes because they’re Ladies, and Black, and might hear you.

So you do the next best thing and call the Cops.

Golf club apologizes for calling cops on black women members
Associated Press

Sandra Thompson and four friends met up Saturday to play a round of golf at the Grandview Golf Club, where they are all members, she told the newspaper.

At the second hole, a white man whose son co-owns the club came up to them twice to complain that they weren’t keeping up with the pace of play. Thompson, an attorney and the head of the York chapter of the NAACP, told the newspaper it was untrue.

On the same hole, another member of the group, Sandra Harrison, said she spoke with a Grandview golf pro, who said they were fine since they were keeping pace with the group ahead of them.

Despite that, the women skipped the third hole to avoid any other issues, she said.

After the ninth hole, where it is customary to take a break before continuing on the next nine holes, three of the group decided to leave because they were so shaken up by the earlier treatment, the women told the paper.

Thompson said the man from the second hole, identified as former York County Commissioner Steve Chronister, his son, club co-owner Jordan Chronister and several other white, male employees approached the remaining two women and said they took too long of a break and they needed to leave the course.

The women argued they took an appropriate break, and that the men behind them were still on their beer break and not ready to tee off, as seen in a video Thompson gave the newspaper. The women were told that the police had been called, and so they waited.

Northern York County Regional Police arrived, conducted interviews and left without charging anyone.

Jordan Chronister’s wife and co-owner of the club, JJ Chronister, said Sunday she called the women personally to apologize.

“We sincerely apologize to the women for making them feel uncomfortable here at Grandview, that is not our intention in any way,” she told the newspaper. “We want all of our members to feel valued and that they can come out here and have a great time, play golf and enjoy the experience.”

She said she hopes to meet with them to discuss how the club can use what happened as a learning experience and do better in the future.

Thompson said she’s not sure a meeting is what needs to happen.

“There needs to be something more substantial to understand they don’t treat people in this manner,” she said.

Uh, yeah. Like that.

If (and there’s no reason you should because you meet more assholes on a Golf Course than almost anyplace else in the world) you know anything about Golf you know that all you have to do if you’re being held up is politely ask to “play through” at the next convenient opportunity, usually in the Tee Box but sometimes in the Fairway or on the Green and it’s like so not a big deal.

Nor is patiently waiting while someone crawls off into the woods looking for a “lost ball” when in fact they’re puking their guts out because of too much sun and too many beers and cigars. I generally try to be out of earshot lest I experience sympathy heaves.