World Series 2016 Game 1: Cubs @ Indians

So, what about the Goat?

Well according to Wikipedia in 1945 Billy Sianis, owner of the nearby (to Wrigley Field that is and yes, it is in fact named after the Gum Guy) Billy Goat Tavern was ejected from Game 4 of the World Series because he had brought along his pet goat and some of the neighboring fans thought the smell objectionable.

It’s not quite clear if the odor emanated from Billy or the Goat of which as a species I have never found the scent offensive provided they are well kept and clean, at least in comparison to other barnyard animals, unless, of course, you are talking about the cheese made from their milk and that’s a matter of process ranging from fresh, light, and hardly aromatic at all to fairly gamy and distinctive but no more so than a well ripened Cow’s Milk Limburger, it’s a matter of taste and whether you like it runny enough for the cat to drink or not (and turn off that bloody bouzouki!).

Indeed I frequently threaten when my Writer’s Block is overwhelming to give it all up and retreat to some isolated cave and live as a hermit among my goats to which TMC will reply, “You wouldn’t last 10 minutes,” and my sage Aunty Mame will respond, “You’ve never owned one, have you?”

I have not in fact, but my youthful encounters at the petting zoo did not result in permanent damage so I imagine them somewhat benignly however much my musings of a simpler, more pastoral existence provoke my intimates. And besides, I watch a lot of Les Stroud and doubt very much I would perish in mere minutes, it might take a day or two.

In any event Sianis thought himself ill used (there is no record of what the Goat thought) and said, ungrammatically, “Them Cubs, they ain’t gonna win no more.”

And so it has proven though in fact the Cubs had a long record of futility (37 years worth) already at that point and have gone (until this year) 71 seasons without so much as a Senior League Championship.

By contrast the Curse of the Bambino lasted a short 86 years and I am perhaps the only active author (120+ years) who remembers the Cubs as a winner from youth (theirs and mine). As I recall I didn’t like them much.

Oh, the Indians attempt to make themselves out hapless rascals and point to Rocky Colavito but that trade was made while John F. Kennedy was still alive and they’ve advanced to the Junior League Pennant as recently as 1995 and 1997 so it is hardly a fair comparison.

Let it not be said I am unwilling to discard the resentments of my formative years and experience novel thrills like Cubs fandom (if my Metropolitans have not eclipsed them in perhaps the most noted choke of all time, same goes for you Sox stalwarts- Bill Buckner, 1986).