A Tail Of Two Kitties

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way–in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

How do you know your cat is a Tory?

Well, they could exhibit some anti-social behaviors, like, say… fighting.

I’ve already pointed out Larry, the cat so dear to David Cameron that he couldn’t wait to ditch it (knowing the power of cats I’d attribute 90% of Brexit to Larry- “Sure Dave, have that referendum. They don’t hate it nearly as much as the French do.”). Well, #11 has their own cat- Palmerston.

I speak of it as if it’s just another flat on Downing Street but Downing Street is itself a mere photo-op facade, a Hollywood chimera. This address belongs to the Foreign Office and if you care to chronicle its decline in influence over the Blair years you might mistake this for a metaphor.

So Palmerston sneaks over from the FO side and he and Larry tangle. Pam got the best of it, some tail hair. Larry went to the Vet for a credulously mangled paw. Game. Set. Match. Palmerston. Way to be Pam, show May it’s ok. This is not the first time for Larry, he booted the Treasury cat Freya in 2012.

Oh, so you’re not interested in conservative cats. I’ll tell you one thing, cats are honest.

About that honesty thing, I was lying. Cats lie all the time and not just in sunny spots (though mostly for training silly human servants or amusement) so I’m pretty convinced through specious logic that all cats are conservative in that they exhibit territorial bullying behaviour and constantly lie. Much like British Corporatist Media.

Corbyn, who unlike Cameron actually cleans litterboxes, does so for one of the cunning beasts that he calls, descriptively, “El Gato“.

The Labour leader said he had grown concerned after the feline displayed a “disappointing individualism and lack of concern for others”.

Mr Corbyn’s initial worry was shared by his wife, Laura Alvarez, as the pair discussed the political affiliations of their pet.

However they have become increasingly encouraged by the cat’s behaviour recently as a “gentler kind of politics” has been on display.

“Laura and I have been discussing his politics for some time. We were concerned about his ­disappointing individualism and lack of concern for others. Basically, we thought he was a bit of a Tory.

But lately he has let the neighbourhood stray eat from his dish and they are beginning to become mates. So I’ve detected a gentler kind of politics coming out of El Gato.”

But Cat Politics aside the real news from old Blighty is this- Corbyn gets back his 130,000 votes.

Decided on the terms I predicted, Consumer Fraud. All the January 12th to July 12th recruits are now allowed to vote in the Leadership Election. Now this is not the windfall it might seem since the most dedicated Corbyn supporters (hard to say if there are any PLP/Smith supporters at all except their friends and family) came up with the required £22 to swell the membership well past 500K anyway, still this can not be seen except as a victory for pro-Corbyn Labour. Well, if you ignore that they have to refund the extorted money and so may not have eclipsed Tory fundraising.

Boo Who?

The cowardly Quislings of the Parliamentary Labour Party who can’t mount a challenger to Theresa May (Jeremy Corbyn is second in polling, ahead of Boris Johnson). Even mass defection to a Blairite Tory-lite “New Labour” is doomed to failure if Corbyn controls the institutional reins, which he does.

Expect more suck up crawl backs in the coming days no matter how fainting couch dramatic the Fleet Street Toadies get. The Fat Lady not warming up yet, but she’s in the building.

1 comment

  1. Vent Hole

Comments have been disabled.