An Epitaph for Cameron

David Cameron’s worst lie is finally revealed: Larry the cat
by James Kirkup, The Telegraph
12 July 2016

While the rest of the Cameron retinue is clearing out this week, Larry is staying on with Theresa May. Which raises all sorts of questions, but first: what sort of man moves house and leaves his cat behind?

The answer: a man who doesn’t like cats and never really owned the cat in question.

That’s right, Larry was a lie, an exercise in spin and branding. He was confected by spin doctors who thought the idea of Mr Cameron having a cat would make him more likeable and warm, more like ordinary people. But the man himself didn’t like Larry and he doesn’t like cats. Anyone who has spoken privately to Mr Cameron about Larry could sense the lack of affection: he refers to Larry as “it”, not “he”, for instance.

Our soon to be ex-premier is a dog person, a chocolate Labrador of a man: solidly and reliably posh, keen to please and unable to resist leaping into any body of water that he passes. (He’ll swim a lot in retirement.)

Because of all that, Larry didn’t live with the Camerons in their flat. He was confined to the office complex downstairs, fed and tended by No 10 staff and often asleep on a radiator in the main reception hall behind the famous black door. And that’s where he’ll stay under Mrs May while the Camerons move on to their next, cat-free home.

So here’s an epitaph for Mr Cameron: A dog person who pretended to like cats.


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