Underwater Squirrels Again

I’ve had it pointed out to me repeatedly over the last few days (because it’s been cold and dark and there’s been nothing much else to do) that this reference doesn’t make much sense unless you are intimately familiar with Something’s Fishy! (Episode 28, Season 5 of The Fairly Odd Parents) where King Greg of Atlantis states that their staple diet consists of starfish, sponges, and the occasional underwater squirrel.

I hope this clears that point up for you.

Since Stars Hollow is as fundamentally fictional as Bikini Bottom and Dimmsdale (and as opposed to Atlantis which is completely true) we seldom have cause to complain about the weather except on those days the floor is a little wet and we are without mats.

Or coffee.

Snow is nothing but annoying icy frozen water stuff that falls out of the sky at inconvenient times. It’s Mother Nature’s icy “Screw you, Lorelai Gilmore”. It’s just stupid stuff you have to shovel out of the way so customers can get into the Inn. It’s the stuff that melts and leaks through your roof! It’s the stuff that stalls your car, it’s the stuff that buries your car.

Well said.

This particular stupid stuff was not quite as icy as last year’s edition but has been equally as effective in disrupting Halloween, taking out power, cell phone, and internet.  I suppose in it’s own way that’s a benefit since I haven’t had to deal with the silliness and have instead been able to perfect my recipe for storm somemores.

Things you will need to have on hand (you can’t shop, obviously)-

  • Miniature Marshmallows
  • M&Ms or whatever scroungable chocolate you can find
  • Animal Crackers

For preparation-

  • A Candle
  • A Lighter or Match
  • Toothpicks

Directions: Light your Candle and place it in the center of your desk in front of your blank black monitor like a shrine to the power company.  Arrange 2 Animal Crackers with a single M&M between sandwich-style.  Take off the lid cracker.  Spear your Marshmallow with a Toothpick and toast it golden brown over your Candle.  Place your hot yummy Marshmallow on top of the M&M and cover with the lid.  Squeeze gently and remove the Toothpick.  Eat.  Repeat.

Now there are those who say that you should only use Flat Toothpicks to keep the Marshmallow from sliding around, I found them a mite flimsy and prone to burn.  Richard opined that the mass of the mini-Marshmallow is insufficient to melt the chocolate.  I’ve never had much luck with that anyway.

Finally some people (Michel) objected that the Candle flame made the Marshmallow taste waxy and sooty.  To them I say you have not suffered enough!  Try it again in 24 hours and see what you think then.

For a beverage I suggest alcoholic, sewage treatment runs on electricity, and for reading material Josiah Gilbert Holland’s The Life of Abraham Lincoln.

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