Popular Culture 20120302: Your Contraception

(9 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

I must first offer my apologies to Peter Townshend.  Pete, sorry, but I think that you would probably approve of this.  Please know that I mean no disrespect to the original song.  This is just political satire using one of your standards.

Normally I do not write highly political pieces, that function being done far better by others here, but tonight is an exception.  I hope that this gets my feelings about how the Republicans have taken what should be a foregone conclusion and twisted it to try to make their point, whatever that point is.  I have tried to be witty and not mean with it, but when talking ’bout Republicans sometimes it is difficult to keep from getting mean.

As I got the concept for this, I was sort of wondering how it fit with popular culture, and actually it is a no brainer.  Contraception is part of popular culture as much as music is.  Not only is it part of popular culture, it is part of most married couple’s lives, and of the lives of many single people.  Remember, contraception is not just for women!  Men are just as responsible to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and should be responsible.

This is also an issue that is not going to go away.  Even as I write this, Kos himself is on Countdown talking about the vile Rush Limbaugh and his obscene comments about the young woman who was not allowed to testify before the original Issa committee.  He wants the story to have legs, and even though I had planned this before tonight, it only encourages me to continue.

This might be the beginning of the end for Limbaugh.  I was surprised at how forgiving his bigoted audience was for forgiving his narcotics addiction, but after doing research now know that LOTS of older conservatives abuse narcotics.  I actually know quite a few, myself not included.  The last time that I took a narcotic was years ago, when I had sinus surgery, all done legally.  As Kos and Olbermann pointed out a little while ago, his actions are even more amusing considering that Limbaugh was caught upon his return from a country known for child sex trafficking with a prescription bottle containing one of the erectile dysfunction drugs in a name other than his.

But this situation is much more serious than the buffoon Limbaugh being his usual blowhard self on the radio.  With that said, the young woman probably has excellent grounds for a defamation, slander, or even libel action against Limbaugh.  I hope that she takes action.  To be honest, I have not kept up with the news this late afternoon and evening because the Bluegrass was hammered by seriously bad weather, and I kept my eyes on local programming to decide whether or not to seek shelter.  Fortunately for me and my neighbors, a little nickel sized hail was the worst that we got locally.  Others in this state and others were not so fortunate, and I offer my sincerest condolences to them and their loved ones.

The most serious part of this situation is the push in several states for the so called “personhood laws”, defining a person as the result immediately after the union of an ovum and a spermatozoon.  This is a ridiculous notion, but when these ridiculous notions are given force of law, there is a large amount of opportunity for mischief on the part of the state (state being used in the abstract sense).  If these laws are strictly interpreted, certainly almost all forms of contraception except for barrier ones would be illegal.  So would abortion under any circumstances.

Please do not get me wrong.  I abhor abortion.  I also abhor war.  Sometimes both of those are necessary for a greater good.  What I find logically questionable is that in many cases the people who shout the loudest opposing abortion also oppose contraception.  This makes no sense, because until some some point of development, an embryo is not viable to exist except inside of the placenta.  I’m not trying to cause a big sensation, but it seems to me that prevention implantation of a mass of cells that can not possibly have consciousness nor any kind of a nervous system is infinitely preferable to removing a more developed one later.

I realize that many people of good will have different outlooks, and I respect their views.  For those who believe that prevention of implantation of an embryo only hours old is taking the life of a human, then certainly they should not do it.  I respect their right not to use implantation preventative contraception.  Barrier methods certainly do not fall under this category, yet there are those who believe that these methods are also unsatisfactory.  I am reminded of the Monty Python skit in The Meaning of Life, “Every Sperm is Sacred”.

I can not believe that any thinking person would hold such beliefs, but some people do.  I believe that the state would have a much harder time trying to legislate against barrier methods.

The final point is that the state has no business playing doctor with women, and men as well.  Pregnancy requires both, because humans are not parthenogenic.  It always takes and ovum and a spermatozoon to create a zygote.  The state has no standing to dictate personal conscience to individuals in this area.  I know, many (not this audience for the most part) will argue that the state has no standing to pay for contraceptives either.  However, it is important to remember that the drugs that prevent implantation are also used to treat a host of other conditions in women, and it is not the business of the state to determine why such drugs are prescribed.  

Before my rewrite, it is only fair to present the wonderful song in its (nearly) original form.  Here is a mimed version from most likely the most well known performance it it ever, the infamous Smothers’ Brothers Comedy Hour appearance many years ago.

With that behind us, here is the rewrite:

Your Contraception

Dem’crats try to call us out, [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

Just because what we’re about!  [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

The things they say are awful true, [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

That’s because we’re comin’ for you!  [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

This is your contraception,

This is your contraception, baby!

You got to have your sex our way, [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

You just do what we all say!  [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

We’re not wantin’ a big misconception, [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

We’re gonna take your contraception!  [Talkin’ ’bout your contraception.]

This is your contraception,

This is your contraception, baby!

Well, my regular readers know that it difficult for me to let go the coat of writing about The Who.  This was sort of a backdoor approach to write about them, but it worked.  This may be a little late in posting given the foul weather here (I completely disconnected my computer from all plugs lest a surge wipe it out) until almost 8:00 tonight, and had a couple of congratulatory telephone calls after that to wish me a happy birthday.

Please comment liberally tonight!  I would like to see this piece make the Rec List to keep the campaign against Limbaugh going.  I would even more like for some Who tribute personnel set my words to music and post it on You Tube.

Warmest regards,

Doc, aka Dr. David W. Smith

Crossposted at

The Stars Hollow Gazette,

Daily Kos, and



  1. reaching the double nickel birthday today?

    Warmest regards,


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