Obama to give America back to the Native Americans

(1PM EST – promoted by Nightprowlkitty)

Here’s the next month’s news today. The fastest rising meme on the right is now that Obama is an honorary Crow Indian he intends to give America back to the Native Americans. It’s all part of his left wing plot to destroy us. Fortunately, I am an anchor baby. So were my parents and three of my four grandparents.

I have no idea how they keep coming up with this shit but they do. And it never ends and they always top themselves! American Reality is a cosmic tragicomic absurdity written by morons for idiots with weekly Sunday morning critiques by flatulent gasbags who have learned to speak with their anal sphincters.

There’s a supposedly terrible movie made in 1978 called Americathon that is in danger of becoming reality. Actually, huge chunks of it have come to pass already. Here’s the Wiki on the people behind this and the premise:

Americathon (also known as Americathon 1998) is a 1979 American comedy film starring John Ritter, Fred Willard, Peter Riegert, Harvey Korman, and Nancy Morgan, with narration by George Carlin, based on a play by Firesign Theatre alumni Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman. Others credited in the film include Jay Leno, Meat Loaf, Tommy Lasorda, and Chief Dan George, with a musical performance by Elvis Costello.

The premise of the film is that, sometime in the then-near future (1998), the USA has run out of oil, and many Americans are literally living in their (now stationary) cars and either jog or ride bicycles to travel. The federal government, housed in “The Western White House” (a sub-leased condominium in Marina del Rey, California), is near national bankruptcy and in danger of being foreclosed by a cartel of Native Americans in control of Nike (which has been renamed “National Indian Knitting Enterprise”). President Chet Roosevelt (Ritter) hires television consultant Eric McMerkin (Riegert) to help produce a national raffle. Instead, they decide that the only way enough money can be raised to save America is to run a telethon, and hire TV celebrity Monty Rushmore (Korman) to host it.

The soundtrack features “It’s A Beautiful Day” by The Beach Boys, “Get A Move On” by Eddie Money and “(I Don’t Want To Go To) Chelsea” by Elvis Costello. Dorothy Stratten appears, uncredited, as one of the stage dancers. John Carradine was to have played “Uncle Sam” in this film, but his scenes were edited.

There is so much more:

But first, a musical interlude – a never released rarity by the Beach Boys (maybe it was the lyrics or the too-close brush with self-parody):

Firesign Theatre was the American Monty Python. They left the scene way too soon. Proctor and Bergman are comic geniuses at parody. They also do double time as modern Nostradamuses. Here’s a few of the script’s vision that have come to pass (Wiki):

Since the storyline was set 20 years into the future, several satirical forecasts were made:

   * The People’s Republic of China embracing capitalism and becoming a global economic superpower.

   * Cliques of Native Americans becoming wealthy (although in reality much of their wealth would come from the gaming industry, mostly from tribal casinos).

   * Nike becoming a huge multinational conglomerate (In 1979, their “Tailwind” running shoe was just starting to gain popularity).

   * Vietnam becoming a major tourist attraction among Asia’s wealthy and powerful.

   * The continued existence and popularity of The Beach Boys in 1998.

   * The creation of a “Western White House” (In reality it would serve as a vacation home).[dubious – discuss]

   * The collapse of the USSR.

   * The depletion of US crude oil production, which, according to Hubbert’s Peak theory, was already underway for several years at the time the film was made.[dubious – discuss]

   * Jogging suits becoming fashionable as “casual wear”.[dubious – discuss]

   * Reality television reaching absurd limits. (The telethon includes a boxing match between a mother and son. The son is played by Jay Leno.).

   * An America with a devalued dollar and heavily in debt to foreign lenders.

   * The United Kingdom relying heavily on tourism for income (In the film, England is the 57th state with London turned into a theme park named “Limeyland” and 10 Downing Street turned into a discothèque).

   * Network television dealing with previously taboo subjects accepted as normal. (Monty Rushmore stars in the sit-com, “Both Father and Mother”, and plays a cross-dressing single father in the titular role. The film’s narrative also mentions “The Schlong Show”, a game show where contestants are judged by their reproductive organs.)

   * Smoking being banned.

And heeeeere’s Jay:

Now that puts the “fun” in dysfunctional. It’s a classic B movie and one of the best. With the wingnuts about to go on the warpath about Obama giving America back to the natives I highly recommend renting this movie tp prepare yourselves for the near term future. Hell, this might go on until 2012.

Eddie Money’s song, Get a Move On:

Elvis Costello, “(I Don’t Want To Go To) Chelsea”:  

Goodnight all.


Skip to comment form

    • RUKind on December 29, 2010 at 23:57

    Personally, I prefer the Native American spiritual view of living in harmony with nature. Plus they measure their wealth in ponies. And men get to paint their faces.

    This could be cool.

    • RUKind on December 30, 2010 at 08:06

    A cautionary tale of how the absurd can so easily become the truth.

  1. can come up with, the latest “one” is a humdinger, starring in the leading role a bizarre amalgam of the weirdest ideas one nation under god can invent: The USA.

    Jesus and Mohammad squaring off in a fight that’s drawing millions; a box office smash. And billions of Asians making so much plastic shit, that the entire Western World has thrown in the towel, except of course for the bankers who, along with the town criers, have defined the true course of history as kind of an inevitably plastic capitalism.

    Yes RUK, it is a cosmic tragicomic absurdity. I truly have had absolutely nothing to say the last couple of weeks for this very reason. I’m glad I could at least contribute this comment without too much angst. If my skull was attached to my vertebra with a ball and socket joint, it’d be spinning faster than a top. And I can say for certainty that top spelled backwards in pot, the same thing as a joint, and both illegal due to the supremacy clause of the constitution. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

    If you mix insurance, vaudville, gun powder and beer, you get a good sense of our culture today. And of course Adam Smith added onto the good book as the 5th gospel.

    Have a happy new year to anybody who reads this!

    • RUKind on December 31, 2010 at 00:18

    This is a bit of light fare but the synchronicity with this version of reality is scary as usual.

    Who knew that Proctor and Bergman were such visionaries. Perhaps it was their basic understanding of the underlying human condition:

    We’re all Bozos on this bus.

  2. …Thanks for bringing this levity to our tragic gravity.

  3. to its original inhabitants, there will be no stealing it a second time!

    The ORIGINAL  HOMELAND SECURITY TEAM Pictures, Images and Photos

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