Joe Biden Saves Iraq!

“I saved Iraq!”

Hoping to rebut criticism that it had lost influence in Iraq and was too passive over the eight months since the March election there, or that its efforts were designed to keep Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki in power, the administration offered a detailed written account of previously unreported meetings, visits and calls it said Biden and others had made.

Biden, Obama’s point man on Iraq, telephoned Kurdish leader Massoud Barzani, a key figure in the negotiations, as often as several times a week, according to the administration timeline.

“Hello, Massoud? This is Joe Biden!”


“Joe Biden, Vice-President of the United States, and Barack Obama’s point man on Iraq!”

“Okay, if you say so. What have you got for me?”

“Nothing! But me and the President would be really, really happy if you Iraqis could form a government, nine months after the election!”

“Aren’t you the same guy who called yesterday? Give it a rest already!”

Apart from a couple of idiots like Biden and Obama, who the heck would want to claim any influence in Iraq?

Sixteen car bombs and road-side bombs detonated across Baghdad on Tuesday evening, prompting the government to declare a security alert and impose snap bans on vehicles.

More than 70 people were killed and 250 wounded in the blasts on Tuesday. At least 58 people, most of them attending mass, were killed and 75 wounded after a team of gunmen stormed the Catholic church and Iraqi special forces attempted a rescue Sunday.

That’s just in Baghdad, where the so-called “government” has the most control, and elsewhere nobody even counts the bodies.  


  1. Following dozens of complaints from waitstaff and numerous incidents of property damage over the past 10 years, representatives from the Dave & Buster’s corporation, a bar-restaurant chain offering a wide variety of arcade games, announced today that Vice President Joe Biden has been permanently banned from all 55 locations nationwide.


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