Halloween Hash, Take 2

Halloween on Sunday.  Halloween again.  Almost like clockwork, it keeps showing up.


As a child I loved Halloween.  We’d go to Mrs. Silver’s house across the street and she would invite us inside and make us fresh caramel apples or popcorn balls.  Lord knows, one can’t do that anymore.

And we would go door to door around the neighborhood and get a real haul of treats.  And somewhere, later, older kids would toilet paper someone’s house or yard, which we would discover on the way to school in the morning.  I never liked the “trick” part.

Razor blades and pins and poison and just plain bad people put a stop to most of the good stuff I remember.  

As I got older, the tricks became worse and the treats were few and far between.

Every once in awhile, there are too many bits and pieces running through my head to come up with a coherent topic.  Doesn’t stop me from putting something together:  Thought Salad, Mixed Veggies, Stone Soup, and Mulligan Stew.  It just means I don’t know how it is going to turn out.  This one is a rewrite of something posted last Halloween.

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Many transfolk have had a fondness for Halloween because it is a day upon which people are all free to investigate an alternative persona.  That never worked for me before I transitioned because of the fear that I had that exposing who I really felt myself to be was too dangerous.

After I transitioned, I discovered it was far better for me to not be home on a night when anonymous strangers were encouraged to visit my home.  It was also better if my car were not there, so that its tires had a chance of surviving through the night.  Yeah, the cat scat and dog shit would still be in my mailbox whether I was home or not, but if someone decided to burn down my house, I at least would not be in it.  And I wouldn’t have to face the task of opening the door expecting children wanting treats and instead discovering someone who thought I should be beaten to within an inch of my life…or beyond…for being in his eyes a freak.

Not a pony

At least on that score, we got a treat last year:  the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Prevention Act is now law.  For the first time ever, there is a federal law which specifically addresses transfolk in a positive way…that even acknowledges that we are people in the eyes of our government.  Anyone who doesn’t know how good that feels isn’t paying attention…or is really, really short on soul.

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On the trick side, as we have seen on Daily Kos from time to time, people can still be fired simply for being GLBT in way too many places…and way too many people think we have employment protection already, which makes it even harder to gain support for ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act currently stalled in congress, with no interest in sight.  This is a law which would actually help us when we are alive.

No kill I, but people have their limits, I guess, like employing one of us.

We’ve heard that us folks who would demand protections like this just want a pony.  Damn straight.  I want the same pony that everyone else has, if by “pony” people mean equal rights.  I don’t want to be told there are more important things, that we just have to wait.

Really?  Just wait?  Was that the lesson we learned in the battles for the equality of other oppressed groups?  Just wait?

Personally, I learned that systemically treating people as unequal and subhuman was wrong.  You know what?  Once learned, that lesson has never had to be repeated with me.

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More tricking came from a group of people in Los Angeles, of all places.  

That specifically bothers me because my retirement plans, if retirement ever becomes a viable financial option, involve moving to Los Angeles.

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Meanwhile, closer to where I now live…real close…two men have been arrested in the murder of Victoria Carmen White, a nine years post-operative transsexual woman.

Police suspect she was killed because of her sexual orientation and are considering adding hate crime charges.

I really don’t know how many times I have to repeat this:  transsexual is not a sexual orientation.  Did they kill her because she was straight?  Or was she a lesbian?  Because she’s a woman, you know.  If what they are trying to say is that they killed her because she was born a man, then say that!  And if that’s the case, don’t just consider adding hate crimes charges, do it!

Because a hate crimes law that is never utilized has no teeth and doesn’t serve its purpose of protecting those who it is supposed to help protect.

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Here’s a treat.  Almost lost in most of the hubbub of the past couple of weeks was the third anniversary of the civil uniting of Debora Adler and Robyn Serven.  We didn’t expect anyone would remember it:  A Wedding.

A wedding, but we still don’t have a legal marriage.  We paid for a domestic partnership.  We’re still paying off some of the debt incurred from the wedding ceremony and reception for the civil union.  And I’m sure that when we do get married, provided we live that long, that we’ll have to pay triply for that.

And if you are on the fence about marriage equality, just consider this.  I legally married a woman in 1969 and was married for 24 years.  I had an operation, sure, but I’m the same person.  So why should I not be legally able to marry a woman now?  Can’t you see how silly it all is?

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Delights and Horrors

Chocolate dreams

and toxic nightmares

woes and joys and terrors

wrapping around each other

twisted the night

from exuberance

to obscenity

A night of anticipation

became a night of fear

sweet delights


by awesome horrors

Can what has been lost

ever be regained?

–Robyn Elaine Serven

–October 30, 2009


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    • Robyn on October 30, 2010 at 00:05

    Politicians who don’t want to actually do anything to make my life better are begging me for money and trying to make me feel guilty…even disloyal…that I don’t have any.

    And those people who are supposedly our friends tell me all we have to do is wait a generation or two until things will get better.  News flash:  Some of us have lived through enough generations that it is doubtful we have two left…and history says life is unlikely to get better even if we did.

    • Edger on October 30, 2010 at 03:42

    and that’s why I married you!, she said, after I sent this picture I found on google to my ex who married me 38 years ago yesterday. I know, I know, she was kind of weird, too… 😉

    Happy Anniversary to you and Debbie, Robyn!

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