It Sucks















The president sucks. I mean, he really sucks.

The last president sucked too. The next president is almost guaranteed to suck, since all presidents either suck, have sucked or will suck. Some presidents have even been sucked. Sucking is what presidents do.

The Congress sucks. They really suck. They won’t impeach him. It sucks. They won’t arrest him. That sucks too.

Nancy sucks. I don’t know why anyone would let her, but she does…

The attorney general sucks. Did suck. And will suck.

Israel sucks.

BP sucks. The oil leak sucks.

It all sucks. I mean everything sucks. All of it. It all sucks.

The war sucks. The other war sucks. The last war sucked. The next war sucks even more. Sucking is what wars do.

I mean it. It all sucks.

Now the economy sucks, too. The last economy sucked. The next economy will probably suck too. The economy has always sucked. Sucking is what the economy does.

Even girlfriends suck. All my girlfriends have all sucked. And they probably thought I sucked too. But then most boyfriends probably suck, usually.

My job sucks. probably because I don’t have one. But even the last one sucked. They all sucked. Your job probably sucks too. Or did suck. Or will suck. Sucks, huh?

Is there anything that doesn’t suck?

It sucks that everything sucks. I mean it. It really sucks.

I wish I had an answer. It sucks that I don’t have an answer.

What sucks even more is that you don’t have an answer either. Even if you think you do. Sucks, huh?

Gitmo sucks. Torture sucks. Bombing sucks. Depleted uranium sucks. Napalm sucks. White phosporus sucks. Poverty sucks. Disease sucks. Injustice sucks. Bigotry sucks. Racism sucks. Starvation sucks. Hate sucks. The poisoned gulf sucks.

Self-styled so-called progressives who aren’t happy unless they’re miserable suck.

Self-styled so-called progressives who call themselves progressives but aren’t happy unless they are miserable and running around in circles with their hair on fire screaming and crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth about how much everything sucks and aren’t happy unless they can convince everyone else to be miserable and run round in circles with their hair on fire screaming and crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth about how much everything sucks suck.

You suck. I suck. The world sucks. There is no gravity. The earth sucks.

What can I say? Life just… sucks.

This essay sucks. It’s probably the worst thing I ever wrote. It really sucks.

Try to have a nice day, ok?


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    • Edger on June 4, 2010 at 4:10 pm

  1. I found this over at digby, hope it is readable. Funny & true,


  2. It sucks to be me.  And that sucks.

    • RiaD on June 4, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    • RiaD on June 4, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    • RiaD on June 4, 2010 at 7:15 pm

  3. …and practiced from birth for years.  We sucked mommy’s breast.  And when she took it away, we cried until given a pacifier to suck.  We sucked our thumbs, our fingers, toes, anything we could put in our mouths.

    Our entire start in life is based on sucking.  Suck a duck.

    • RiaD on June 4, 2010 at 7:27 pm

  4. here too and it’s cold! Cold sucks! But there will be rainbows and they don’t suck. So that’s good in a unsucky way. Spell check doesn’t like the word “unsucky”. That sucks! It’s a perfectly good word.

    My cats don’t suck! Neither do my dogs or my turtle.

    I was suppose to work in the yard today, clean up duty. That doesn’t suck, cause I was not in the mood.

    So you see the important parts don’t suck! Get a cat!

    • TMC on June 4, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    the Earth sucks. 😉

    • banger on June 4, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    I feel pretty much the same way. Thanks for putting it so well.

    I feel like grabbing a guitar and just walking out the door (I just put new strings on one). I’m sorely, sorely tempted.

    For me though life doesn’t suck–it’s just my attitude that sucks.  

  5. Big time!

    SEATTLE (AP) — Police said a man accidentally shot himself in the testicles at a Lynnwood department store. Police spokeswoman Shannon Sessions said the man was carrying his handgun in his waistband and it accidentally went off about noon Sunday.

    What happened to “Guns don’t shoot people, people shoot people”?

  6. This essay sucks. It’s probably the worst thing I ever wrote. It really sucks.

  7. who frequently blows, I find this diary refreshing.  

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