The president sucks. I mean, he really sucks.
The last president sucked too. The next president is almost guaranteed to suck, since all presidents either suck, have sucked or will suck. Some presidents have even been sucked. Sucking is what presidents do.
The Congress sucks. They really suck. They won’t impeach him. It sucks. They won’t arrest him. That sucks too.
Nancy sucks. I don’t know why anyone would let her, but she does…
The attorney general sucks. Did suck. And will suck.
BP sucks. The oil leak sucks.
It all sucks. I mean everything sucks. All of it. It all sucks.
The war sucks. The other war sucks. The last war sucked. The next war sucks even more. Sucking is what wars do.
I mean it. It all sucks.
Now the economy sucks, too. The last economy sucked. The next economy will probably suck too. The economy has always sucked. Sucking is what the economy does.
Even girlfriends suck. All my girlfriends have all sucked. And they probably thought I sucked too. But then most boyfriends probably suck, usually.
My job sucks. probably because I don’t have one. But even the last one sucked. They all sucked. Your job probably sucks too. Or did suck. Or will suck. Sucks, huh?
Is there anything that doesn’t suck?
It sucks that everything sucks. I mean it. It really sucks.
I wish I had an answer. It sucks that I don’t have an answer.
What sucks even more is that you don’t have an answer either. Even if you think you do. Sucks, huh?
Gitmo sucks. Torture sucks. Bombing sucks. Depleted uranium sucks. Napalm sucks. White phosporus sucks. Poverty sucks. Disease sucks. Injustice sucks. Bigotry sucks. Racism sucks. Starvation sucks. Hate sucks. The poisoned gulf sucks.
Self-styled so-called progressives who aren’t happy unless they’re miserable suck.
Self-styled so-called progressives who call themselves progressives but aren’t happy unless they are miserable and running around in circles with their hair on fire screaming and crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth about how much everything sucks and aren’t happy unless they can convince everyone else to be miserable and run round in circles with their hair on fire screaming and crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth about how much everything sucks suck.
You suck. I suck. The world sucks. There is no gravity. The earth sucks.
What can I say? Life just… sucks.
This essay sucks. It’s probably the worst thing I ever wrote. It really sucks.
Try to have a nice day, ok?