Friday: Dear Joe- I want my lawn chairs back

So just after 5 pm here on the Left Coast, I get this email:

Subject: We Want Our Money Back

From: “Vice President Joe Biden”

To:  (my name, aka “Sucker”)

Yesterday, President Obama announced our proposed Financial Crisis Responsibility

on the country’s largest banks:

“My commitment is to recover every single dime the American people are owed. And my

determination to achieve this goal is only heightened when I see reports of massive

profits and obscene bonuses at some of the very firms who owe their continued

existence to the American people…  We want our money back, and we’re going to get


The fee would recover every penny loaned to Wall Street during the financial crisis

and stop the reckless abuses and excesses that nearly caused the collapse of our

financial system in the first place.

But the banking industry — among the most powerful lobbies in Washington — is

already launching attacks to stop Congress from enacting the proposal.

Barack and I aren’t backing down. But to win, we’ll need the American people to add

their voice right away.

Thankfully, OFA supporters are already signing on to a bold statement of support:

“We want our money back — and we stand with President Obama to make sure we get

it.” You can add your name by clicking here:

The proposal is expected to recoup billions from the big banks, most of it from the

ten largest. As the President said, “If these companies are in good enough shape to

afford massive bonuses, they are surely in good enough shape to afford paying back

every penny to taxpayers.”

There is much more work to do to reform the financial system and create a new era of

accountability. But the Financial Crisis Responsibility Fee is a crucial step. And

with the banks already working to tear it down, I hope that I can count on you to

speak out to show that Americans stand with us as we take them on.

Click here to add your name to the statement:

Change isn’t easy, but it’s certainly worth fighting for. I’m glad you’re in this

fight with us.

Thank you for making it possible,

Vice President Joe Biden

Please donate:…

Dear Joe,

I can call you Joe, right ?  (involuntary eyelid twitch)

Does Jill Dr. Biden know you’re emailing other women and asking them for date money for the weekends ?

I was thrilled you’re finally developing a sense of humor about this situation with the Senate and AIG. Give our regards to Senator Dodd before he retires.

Hey, Joe, (twitch…. jerk) have you been outta da loop this week ?

You’re talking about BANKS.  

We don’t need BANKS, Joe, we need a way to quickly transport water to people dying of dehydration RIGHT NOW in the Carribean Island nation of Haiti, because it’s hot and they haven’t had any water to drink for 76 hours since the earthquake.

It’s a hellhole, Joe, of crushed bricks and bodies, I realize that they don’t have anything we particularly need like a gas pipeline right of way, but try to think of the children. Because they have less body mass.  Brown people close to us, not in Africa where the famous go to adopt.  Just water, Joe.  Just like in Louisiana. Surrounded by seawater, hot, humid, no place to go, nothing to drink.  

And while we’re talking contemporary events, how are those SECRET White House Conference negotiations going on the Health Insurance Bail Out ?

We don’t need to tax our health benefits in order to make them so expensive we then need a government subsidy to afford them.

The bill only covers half the uninsured, and throws them to the mercy of individual state Medicaid wars every year. What happens to the other half, also known as 30 million people? We all adore the idea of clinics, but you know that Sander’s amendment won’t be enough to FUND them.

Having “insurance” isn’t the same thing at all as having the ability to get actual medical care. Just ask the current holders of “RomneyCare” in Massachusetts, where 21% of the population still can’t use their precious, theoretical “universal” coverage because of outrageous cost.  Of course, your people in DC get the best possible deferential treatment in the world, because the Insurance Companies realize that if the government bureaucrats went thru the access- endless waits- affordability- recission lottery the way the rest of us do, you’d be siccing Cheney’s minions on them.  Oh, wait…. Halliburton executives now invest in medical and pharma companies. Nevermind.

Oh, and about that Massachusetts Senate Race,

Joe?  (quiver….)  just what the HELL is that woman doing with 5 million dollars that she can’t beat the crap out of a centerfold jock for Teddy Kennedy’s old seat ?

Is it really too much to ask actual “Democratic” candidates to show up at campaign events on weekends ?

Because the OFA (or at least people claiming to be so) is on the innertubals literally having some sort of psychic meltdown that they can’t browbeat the holy crap outta everybody to go phonebank for this turquette.

Where is this candidate On The Issues ?





She’s stolen the damned Democratic Party Platform, Joe.

She’s on my lawn.

She’s for the Senate version of the Insurance bailout.  What the hell is this ?

Why should we vote for her if she’s FOR mandates to buy high deductable junk insurance, no Public Option, and taxing the middle class’s INSURANCE BENEFITS so the richest people can get more tax breaks?   She’s going to do nothing but defer to Kerry, who will do nothing but defer to the Republicans.

If we wanted Republicans running the country we would have voted for them.   Get it?  

And don’t give me this “but but but STUPAK” amendment excuses. Vote Female to overturn Stupakadippity isn’t going to fly anymore after watching Hoyer’s PAC give money to FEMALE candidates that co sponsored this.  Your “Democratic” sell outs did that all by themselves.

When are you going to admit to yourselves that having a Senate Candidate this tone deaf to the needs of the nation and the constituents is an electoral disaster ?  Oh, and that OFA sucks.   Somebody had to say it.  Get rid of the industry shills in OFA who keep telling us how stupid we are.  We’re sick of them.  They’re just plain nasty.  Stop telling us they aren’t shilling.  Use a damned dictionary if you don’t know what the word means.

You expect people to go out and “sell” this nothingness that you have accomplished?  THOSE TAXES will go to the insurance industries as our premiums to keep lobbyists fighting us from seeing a Doctor.

Medicare or Public Option for All is now subversive?

Are you out of your mind?

AND you’re just going along with MORE WAR and MORE DEBT ?

Let’s see. Arabs sell us oil, expect us to guard their nations, raid their neighbors at will, and use their oil profits to buy weapons and pay their poorest or crazy people to kill our best and youngest.  We bomb, they bomb, and all should ignore the collateral damage to families, and the human suffering. This should be continued to infinity, so we have excuses for not doing anything else.

You piss all over your base, (have I mentioned the half of my family tree that is from Appalachian Pennsylvania?) and they aren’t going to keep rolling over.  They WILL ignore you.

This isn’t what we heard during the campaign and this is NOT the Democratic Party Platform.

Oh yeah, you might pull this out.  The pollsters are playing coy so the Great Unwashed dutifully trudges to the polls this Tuesday and reinstalls your 60th vote supermajority you don’t intend to do anything with, anyway.  Because we heard all this past year that 60 isn’t enough.  So we should work real hard for more 60.

Joe, You Fail.

It’s a shame, you’re actually a likeable guy.

I want my lawn chairs back, and you’d best be looking for a course in LOGIC right about now after that reality check.  Stop the foreclosures, Joe. You know this email is empty grandstanding, using a Republican slogan straight out of the Tea Party. The Tea Party we’ve done the exposes on, while OFA told us NOT to call the Senators. The government is ignoring homeowners who are in deep mortgage crisis.  

Thanks for being so oblivious to what is going on right now.  The fight for equality and justice goes on , with or without you.   You can’t stop it.  Do you want to continue to preside over the greatest wealth transfer in history going the wrong way?

Don’t forget to donate to your local food banks, and to international relief organizations this week, such as the Red Cross, Oxfam, MSF/Doctors without Borders.  Goodnight, Joe. Now get to work.



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  1. …. especially the ones who are hurting, and God help you if you think you can treat your volunteers and low level staffers like fracking serfs too idiotic to comprehend a bait and switch once the polls close.

    Nasty. Nasty. Nasty.  They are setting themselves up to fail.

  2. Lotta rage, baby.

    Yeah, I feel it too.  All this pressure from the party – of which I’ve been a member since before I could vote.

    It’s almost visible.

    Like a scary monster in one of those scary monster movies where the monster is invisible but you see all the curtains move and things fall to the floor, etc.

    You’re right about Haiti – with our wealth and power we could do better and our leaders could unite us more towards helping our brothers and sisters in trouble than worrying about elections.

    But yeah, the pressure is tangible, like those scary … oh, I said that already.

  3. Talk about priorities  . . . . !  “The White House R Delusion — The Reality R Us!”

    Add this:

    AP  – Bush, Clinton join Obama in aiding Haiti


  4. I place them in the scumbag category so no they don’t the money I don’t have anyway.

    • Xanthe on January 17, 2010 at 16:58

    admin to demand taxpayers’ money back – stern voice and all.  

    Now we have to sign endless online petitions to show that we as taxpayers back the president.  ????   We voted for him and the rest of them didn’t we?  

    If the banks don’t regard the admin much – witness them not showing up at some meeting, even if it was fluff – and issuing a kleenix apology – they’re going to listen to us – the jamopes who are paying the actors in the badly written drama.  

    I didn’t know you were a woman, ARC – I should have though –

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