Swashbucklers911truth upset with 9/11 steel used in us navy ships

Over nine tons of 9/11 steel was recently recycled in building a new navy ship. However, the use of the steel was controversial, according to a number of 9/11 truth groups including swashbucklers911truth, nauticalengineersfor911truth.org and seamensittingonthedockofthebayfor911truth.org.

The President of Swashbucklers for 9/11 Truth explained, “While using 9/11 steel may be patriotic, swashbucklers are very concerned that the steel is not strong enough. We don’t want to be in the middle of the ocean when the engine falls apart.”

However, these strength concerns about 9/11 steel were quickly dismissed by General Don T. Trustnist who was quoted in a recent Popular Navy Mechanics article. He said, “There are no problems. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. We found that the 9/11 steel melts very easily, so we were able to use it for intricate designs where it is much easier to pour into molds.” As for concerns about strength, the General made it very clear that the steel was not used anywhere steel would be heated. General Don T. Trustnist said, “There are many useful applications for this steel including railings, chairs and flagpoles. What is more patriotic than a 9/11 steel flagpole?”

There have been some collapse problems, however, according to the research of 9/11 truth expert, Dr. Ray Gunnin. “Another ship using 9/11 steel for a shelving storage unit with five shelfs of spam, spork and other faux meats collapsed. It was a total collapse, and there wasn’t even that much Spam on the shelves!”said Dr. Ray Gunnin.

No studies of the shelving unit have been completed at this time according to MIST, the Military’s version of NIST. A final report will not be available until 2029. MIST says preliminary analysis points to “Thermal Expansion”. A sneaky seamen threw a lit cigarette on a shelf to avoid getting caught in a nonsmoking area. The shelf was the only steel that expanded from the cigarette, while the rest of the shelving unit stayed cool. This uneven thermal expansion caused one shelf connection to one leg to break. This in turn lead to a cascading collapse, where all of the first leg’s connections broke, and then the collapse spread around to the other legs until the entire shelving unit collapsed.

Another theory is that angry swashbucklers sick of spam used firecrackers and M80s to blow up the faux meats. Officials at MIST say they have found no evidence of explosives. When six of the dishwashers found unexploded firecrackers, MIST changed their stance saying that there was not enough evidence of a planned spam explosion.

The controversy over 9/11 Steel will not end anytime soon, but things have died down considerably. That’s because, according to the swashbucklers, the Navy has forbidden all writing about the subject. Janitors have been instructed to report any graffiti in the men’s room. And all seamen caught writing in support of the explosion theory will be permanently banned from the men’s room. Ouch!


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  1. I’m pissed…I demand a 9/11 Truth-in-Spam Commission…NOW!!

  2. once the top shelves gave way “it was like a spam sandwich” with multiple shelves falling at the speed of gravity.

    Dude, post a pony jar!

    • Inky99 on November 3, 2009 at 22:55

    It really is one of the creepiest things EVER to have that steel built into a Navy battleship.

  3. Delete this piece of shit.

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