New Rule: Only 1 Clusterf#$k per idiot. Re: Greenspan

     It seems that Mr. Greenspan has reared his head again to give us more of his unsound economic advice. You’d think one ginormous worldwide financial disaster would be enough for this guy, but Alan Greespan, like an animal trainer after a wild mauling, insists on trying to help even after the white tiger has clawed your face off.

    So I am going to take a page out of Bill Maher’s book and put down a New Rule.

    There will only be 1 Clusterfuck alloted per idiot expert from now on. After that, should you attempt to give us more advice, we get to move you into a box underneath the Queensboro Bridge, and then launch that box into deep space.

    Take the New York Times for instance. Now that we might go to war with a country with four letters in it’s name that starts with I they have “advice” to give us. Good thing for me, between the New York Times’s advice on I country wars and Greenspans expertise, I can wipe my ass with the place I live now.

    America, land of the Double Whopper with WTF sauce. Pass the scotch.

    More ranting below the fold

 In a sane country Alan Greenspan would be offering me cheese samples at Price Chopper, not telling America to invest in cheese sample futures.

    Sadly, we do not live in a sane country. We live in an idiot country where the Governor lady who can’t name what newspapers she reads writes a book that makes the best sellers list. We live in an idiot country where the people who wrecked the country get 46% of the vote in the next election. We live in an idiot country that is preparing for an evolved swine flu but is too chickenshit to air a movie about Darwin because Jesus Clause might get mad at us for playing with our genome. You’ll grow hair on your palms if you start doing that.


   In a sane country Alan Greenspan would be greeting me at the door at Walmart. You know, that place where all our money went while our jobs we used to have got shipped off to Shanghai. That idiot. ANd in a sane country Alan the Walmart greeter would have single payer health care, a union job with a strong 401k, and he’d be able to smoke a legal joint with his legally married lesbian neighbors at the end of the day, but I digress.

   So why do we keep asking hese idiots for advice, or allowing other idiots to present the first idiots off as experts, even after the smoking pile of rubble they’ve left behind them that used to be the greatest manufacturing economy in the world hasn’t been outsourced to a cleanup contractor yet?

    Part of it is because the people who have power in America are just as stupid as the majoirty of us. They not only print they lies, they believe them too. They really, really think they are right, no matter how many times they step on that rake, Sideshow Bob style. Their advice is a Neo-esque “There is no rake”, and the only way that we will get beyond their automaton like stupidity is to stop listening to them, progress forward and leave the morons behind to step on their rakes.

   Sadly, that is going to take awhile. Good thing for us, as intelligent beings who believe in theories like Darwinian evolution, climate change and the crazy idea that Santa isn’t real is that the stupid will not survive the next clusterfuck of their own making. We will outbreed them, the sex will be wild and gratuitous, we will smoke a joint afterwards and our children will be more highly evolved than their caveman children will be.

   But until we stop letting these debunked morons with stupid ideas from presenting their failed notions of what is happening as reality or plausible concepts, we are doomed to suffer the Greenspans, the New York Times editors, and the majority of Wall St and Congress. Until we can get the majority of America to throw rotten fruit at the Alan Greenspans’ and Pat Buchanan’s and Joe Scarborough’s of the world , we are doomed to suffer the stupidity of their advice, as though we didn’t just walk out of the burning wreckage of their last idiot idea.

   But what do I know? I’m just the guy living underneath a shitty New York Times Sunday edition behind the Holiday Inn that just went out of business in my town, or, as I like to call it, “The Real America”

Rant off

Crossposted at The Progressive


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    • TMC on October 6, 2009 at 00:21

    is the second sign of insanity. The first is looking for it

    • TMC on October 6, 2009 at 00:24

    is a hairy mole on the butt of economy.

    • Edger on October 6, 2009 at 01:16

    The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake.


  2. You have been knocking it out of the park in the few months I have been around. In honor of the love of my life, I’ll leave the gratuitous sex to others and rejoin in the afterglow. I’m with you on the economy and with you on culture, but I was vulnerable to attack over previous personal failings, got careless, and took a mighty beat-down as much for my views as for my baggage. Keep an open spot in the ranks for an ugly product of the lost manufacturing trenches, and I’ll be there.

    Anyway, just wanted to see if it’s possible to send a postcard from purgatory. There are some outside the gate who offer the assistance that only His children can give, but they have clubs in their hands.  

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