home_again home_again

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

i used to blog here. almost every day. but that… that was blog ages ago.

before my lovely, fiery, sad, maddening, and enlightening experiences at Docudharma, i’d found myself in the company of a certain bunch of bloggers . . .  buhdydharma and ek hornbeck, riaD, undercovercalico, jessical, one pissed off liberal, exmearden, jayinportland, keirdubois, and cronesense, among others, at teh Daily Kos. not a home. but most certainly, a community of bloggers crusading against the great evil of BushCo.

we had common purpose then. and common enemies too. we were all joined in the same dance . . .


buhdy was, as he is now, a well known blogger at dKos. i’d often end up in his diaries there and we kinda became acquainted. at some point, buhdy got an idea to create his own blog and invited a group of us to join him here, at DD (as we started to call it). that’s when i got to know melvin, on the bus, Magnifico, Jay Elias, srkp23, armando, edger, tahoe, rusty, and so many others. oh yeah… cosmic debris and pluto, moneysmith, Compound F…

this place became my blogging home. really. i never found much need to go back to dKos, although I did post there on occasion.

it was ek who started those silly pony parties. he lassoed a few of us to post them regularly. i don’t think i ever thanked him, but it was there i met masslass (we eventually became dear friends in real life) and dear nocatz. my heart (and ria’s too) was stolen by a poster who called himself fatdave. we had fun there. sometimes those threads would generate 100s of comments and it’d just be four or five of us and our rapid-fire repartee…

i loved writing essays, reading the ideas of others, and the swing of this place. it was, for me, alive.

ah. but things are never static. pretty much like all other homes and families…. sometimes things happen and happen in such a way that people stop talking to each other. there is a perception of grievous wrongs being committed and things are said and and and . . .  wham0, home is never the same again. that’s kinda my story. no right. or wrong. it just stopped working. shelf life, everything has a shelf life. mine was maybe 1.5 years here.

none-the-less, home is always home, i think. maybe you can’t go back. maybe you shouldn’t even just visit, but hey, it’s still home.

i’ve been drawn back here, to DD, a few times. this time it’s because of exmearden, or exme, as many of us call her.

exme and I, we don’t know each other very well. still, we have known each other for a few years now. i am an avid reader of her work and have lived a small part of her journey, with her sister and her daughters and her dogs. huh. and a few times over these last days, i find myself in tears. i don’t know if it is about shelf life or the odd way life has of pouring freezing cold water over you, but for me, she is part of this place. and truth be told, i didn’t know where else to go.

reading exme’s essay this morning, Roy Rogers is riding tonight. Cancer and me, i saw a comment by melvin. melvin . . . he left DD early on and i’ve missed him terribly since. seeing him here again…  perhaps we both felt the same way… not knowing where else to go… except maybe back home . . .

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

Erma Bombeck


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    • pfiore8 on October 4, 2009 at 18:43

    of all kinds!

    • Edger on October 4, 2009 at 18:49

  1. “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you.  ~Robert Frost


    • Robyn on October 4, 2009 at 18:53

    …and retain them as friends, who can we argue with?

  2. it’s where people care.  Yeah, sometimes they disagree, have dumb ideas (and they have the nerve to think that our ideas are dumb!!) and instead of always agreeing with our absolute truths, they dare to see a different way.  But despite the differences, on the whole, there are more similarities.  

    Welcome home!

  3. Home is where the heart is

    No matter how the heart lives

    Inside your heart where love is

    That’s where you’ve got to make yourself

    At home

    That’s Peter Paul and Mary.

    • TMC on October 5, 2009 at 00:06

    I’m not sure where that came from but from the time that I came into this place I have felt welcome, comfortable and warm. I found peace here in middle of combat zones both real and the inner tube ones. Even with all the family angst, this became more home than anywhere else. It is where we gather to comfort a sick loved one and each other with stories, jokes, pictures, music and songs, even danicing the night away. Home is laughter and tears, hugs and sometimes slaps to snap you out of it. It is hellos to members returning and goodbyes and come back soon to those who leave. There is always a key under the rock near the first step and a light in the front window so you don’t get lost.  

  4. as, perhaps, a “haven?”  We ALL seem to return here — sooner or later.  We do have bonds!

    Maybe, I pretty much expressed it here.

    (I’m glad to see you here again!  I don’t think we should spend our lives at blogging, but it’s always good to have “cameo” experiences by those many WHO genuinely care.  Hugs, Tahoe!)

  5. …As I said the other day, good to see ya.

  6. get to be yourself and sometimes slam the door on your way out to another journey, yet still return without hanging your head, because it’s where you are welcomed and missed, as your always part of the place.  This family is full of individuals who may erupt into vocal discussions and debates but that is why it’s not a boring home but one which offers a light burning in times of darkness and a place to get down to saving the world. lol. Lots to learn and big fun…  

    At least fixing the hunks of it we can, or sharing our poetry, art, stories, philosophy, politics and finding a way forward, one that strengthens and inspires. Welcome back hope you come home for visits more often. Funny thing but this family seems stronger then the parameters of DD, it’s members past,future and present are always around somewhere and the door is always open here. When I take my family here with me out into the ether and back.                    

  7. and I always find it somewhat amusing that “home” grows into something entirely its own.

    My own actual physical home, which I longed for all of my adult life as something that would be peaceful, restorative, and a haven, actually became something quite chaotic, challenging, movable, and always dynamic.

    With three daughters, four years stretching between, and multiple dogs, a couple of cats, vast amounts of people sailing through, multiple moves – well, my home became a restive caravan, not so restful.

    And now I love it more than I can say.

    At the end of the day, it’s still home.

    Like this place.

  8. speaks to me right now:

    Going Home

    by Wislawa Szymborska

    He came home. Said nothing.

    It was clear, though, that something had gone wrong.

    He lay down fully dressed.

    Pulled the blanket over his head.

    Tucked up his knees.

    He’s nearly forty, but not at the moment.

    He exists just as he did inside his mother’s womb,

    clad in seven walls of skin, in sheltered darkness.

    Tomorrow he’ll give a lecture

    on homeostasis in metagalactic cosmonautics.

    For now, though, he has curled up and gone to sleep.


    Another nice diary, pfiore8

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