Not any energy to say anything any more

10:00 Eastern time is the end.  I likely will not be here any more.

Warmest regards,

Doc

10 comments

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  1. I mean it. Hang in there. Today is a day for grieving. Roll with it.

    In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

    ~Robert Frost

  2. It was more arduous than I expected.

    Sign up.

    There was one funny thing there, the fake word to type in was “monken”, close enough to “monkey” to be funny. I’ve never seen one that looked like a real word before.

    Get email w/ wacky password.

    Come back and enter wacky password.

    COOL, I’m in.

    Try to post comment.

    Won’t work.

    Change some account settings.

    Try to post comment.

    Won’t work.

    Go to home page.

    Find other essay.

    Try to reply to it.

    AHA, it’s generic, I can’t reply.

    Go to home page

    Find faq.

    Read it.

    AHA, it’s because I’m using Firefox and have enabled some goofy thing that prevents me from seeing moving waving ads. I don’t really know how to unscramble that (despite the nice FAQ tells how).

    Switch browsers to Safari

    Log in

    Find essay

    Click on.

    NOW the comment thing works.

    ——

    Interestingly, that reminds me of the path out of depression. The light/good feelings are a goal,  but getting there from here means a tangled, frustrating path must be trod to find them again.

    I’ve been depressed and come out many times. The last time was roughly Dec. – April or May this year… and I am OUT now. Peppy, getting stuff done, life is enjoyable. Right, Miep, I was a basket case, right? I had a good reason, I was grieving the loss of a person.

    Your assignment for today, no matter how many thousands of excuses you have to not do this, (don’t feel like it, there’s real fresh air out there, euuu, don’t want to get that dressed up), go for a walk outside. Even if it’s only 3 blocks. Get the arms swinging in rhythm with the legs.  Even if it’s too hot, cold, rainy, humid, whatever.

    Oh yes, then do it again the next day.

    You’re not doing this because it sounds appealing or fun now, but because it will change your brain. That will change your life. Your brain/emotions are helpless before the exercise, it will change them. I know, I studied it, researched it, this summer and the past 3 years. Brain stuff. Fascinating.

    Yes, exercise was key to bringing my mood back.

    Behind every whack in the head in life, every horrid black valley, is a hidden mountain or ridge-top with a wonderful view, a new perspective, and a renewed ability to enjoy life.

    We’re pulling for you, now you pull a little, too, please. We would miss your voice too much.

  3. … loves you.  You are part of us and we are part of you.  You are not alone.

    Sending love your way …

    • TMC on September 16, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    today and every day. We know how sad you are, especially today. Go for a walk, think about your son’s wedding and the joy of that day for him. Think about your other children and the joy they have brought you. Today may be dark, but please don’t despair. I’ve been through the darkness, I’ve been going through it for awhile. I hold on because I know I have friends to help. We are here to help, just reach out to us.

  4. I’ve read at DK. Really loved it. You know about all these fields that I’m clueless about. And you know them from a different angle than I’d ever take naturally.

    And so I want to read more.

    • Heather on September 17, 2009 at 3:27 am

    And that you tell us all some more.

    I read every word of your diaries from the tobacco to the part about my having wasted my time..so far from wasted doc.

    Today was the day for you I think.

    I would have sat beside you.

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