So Sad about Us 20090730

Some of you know that Mrs. Translator and I are in the process of a divorce.  It is not a happy time for either of us.

Fortunately, neither of us have any animostiy, at least overt, towards the other.  But that does not mean that it is not a sad event in our lives.

Last June, we “celebrated”, to use a word out of context, our 32nd wedding anniversary.  But things had not been right for a long time.

First, enjoy this cut from The Who very early in their career.  Note that Keith was using a high hat, an instrument that he came to loathe not long after.  This video, if the subtitle can be believed, was performed to the day when I turned 10 years.  Would that I have been in the right place and time to see them live at The Marquee.

Also note the words that a very young Peter Townshend wrote:  “Apologies mean nothing when the damage is done.”  Also, “Sad, never meant to break up, sad, suppose we’ll never make up.  Sad, sad, about us.”

Mrs. Translator and I discussed the “disposition of the property” this evening.  Joint bank accounts, retirement accounts, real estate, and so forth.  The hell of it is that neither of us wants to give a raw deal to the other.  That might make it even worse, because we love each other and will always have a bond that can not be explained.

This is a cautionary essay.  Folks, NEVER take a job out of state without bringing your family with you.  That, almost always, is a recipe for disaster.  Even though, whilst living together, I had made plenty of mistakes, the daily contact helped to resolve many of those mistakes.  When people live far apart, this is not possible, even with modern modes of communication.

To those of you who are not communicating, COMMUNICATE!  For those of you living apart, if you want to salvage your marriage, FIND A WAY to live together, at least for part of the week.  Close contact is the emotional equivalent of sunlight.  For those of you who just do not care, please get it over with so that each of you can move further into this mystery called life and try to find happiness.

The bottom line is to examine one’s self each and every day to find imperfections and areas for improvement.  If I had done so years ago, this painful moment might have been averted.  Also know that I have only the highest regard for Mrs. Translator’s intellect, character, and goodness.  This situation was caused by me alone, and I take responsibility for it.  That just makes it hurt worse, since I have no one but myself to blame.

Warmest regards,

Doc