The Job Search

(10 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Not only are there no jobs there is also nobody home.

That phrase “pounding the pavement” is as obsolete as a pay phone.  Is it progress or the mindless doorway to Neo’s pod people from the Matrix movie series.

I have a question for corporations.

If my call is so important to you then why can’t I talk to a live person, and I don’t mean after typing the Gettysburg address using a telephone keypad.

And none of the voice systems recognize my thick Bostonian with a touch of german speech pattern.

So after applying to a rather large scientific company their HR/IT computer read my resume with all the skill of Helen Keller needing correction after corrrection.  Then it dawned on me why Monster points one to “resume consultants” to “update” your resume for $149.95,$249.95 or the premium $349.95.  I used to be good at what I did they just don’t do it here anymore.

Plus I have never been a pompous ass so blowing my own horn presents a problem.

One letter mistyped throws back an email, at least it tells me.

One must have the updated sequence and proper frame of mind to understand the anal details of selling oneself to someone who is not there.

Do I sound like Dilbert?

So after spending fifteen minutes online it goes into the black hole of computing never to be seen again.  I have to wonder if they are saving.  IT is quick to spout their cost savings and for many large operations that must be true but are we on that declining curve of the product life cycle.  The Edward Tufte phenomena.

http://www.edwardtufte.com/tuf…

Yeah the computer can serve you or are you serving it?  Updates for poorly written INSECURE software, insecure?  In this “post 911 world”?  Retraining perpetually for the new “rollout” replacing the last quagmire software package?

Are we geeks simply because geekyness is “in”.  A quick check of Technorati top rated blogs kind of confirms it but I think it’s sad, impersonal even rude.

Also everybody wants to know my “mobile” number.  Hey, if I don’t have a job you think I’m paying 50 bucks a month to irradiate my skull?  Cheaper to stick my head in the microwave.

Should I have a Facebook?

http://blip.tv/file/1613641

Lastly Orwellianisms are cropping up in employment as a direct result of this Seig Heil cancerous attitude stemming from the Global War of Terror.  Terms like “applicant tracking systems” and this 7 million 220 thousand hits return from a Google of “employment screening”.

http://www.google.com/search?h…

So let me sum it all up.

So I apply to a company but nobody is there

It has this eery social engineering aspect to it.  I feel like a steer being herded down the cattle chute into the slaughterhouse.  You “vill” comply.  Being “different” is not acceptable.

While 7 million people screen my non-existent self for a job that isn’t really there?  What is screening?   A computer program talking to other computers sorting data from databases.  Again no humans involved.  Terminator?  Skynet anyone?

Where is Dr Seuss when I need him?  I’ll go see the horses and let them tag my jacket for treats.

7 comments

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  1. also wants to get on the action.

    Ha, security clearance required?  Somehow I don’t think so.

  2. IT is one of the few sectors that’s ‘growing’. So far our business is good. We are a service for market researchers (outsource, but not offshore). If ever markets need researching it’s now. Husband the mathematician says it’s like being a garbageman nobody wants to do the math/ stats and even if they buy the software they can’t really make it do the voodoo like he do.

    Maybe your going at it ass backwards. Sending resumes into a black whole, which has no human involved. I have noticed that our projects/clients have shifted not so many corporate sell my potato chips, and more things like public transportation, health care, land use, municipalities, environment studies. Maybe you should target(now there is a term) the sectors which will be viable in the post meltdown world.

    Market yourself creatively, you have nothing to lose. Avoid  the too big to fall that are crashing all over the place. As an artist who went into marketing, I know how to pimp ones self, or my husband. Maybe you could start your own business and be a outsource so they don’t have to hire you and pay benefits or taxes. Apparently they can’t send our studies to India for processing as there are culture difficulties which need someone who knows what the hell the respondent’s are saying. Like whose ass is farting and why?

    Good luck, Lasthorseman. Not a good time to look for a job. Your a creative guy and if anyone can out smart the machines it will be you.        

       

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