The Economic Impact of Moose

A Stars Hollow Gazette

So you remember Dana Milbank, Village Idiot?

Ben Bernanke, Fed Chairman and Newly Minted Radical

By Dana Milbank

Thursday, February 19, 2009; Page A03

“Since Ben Bernanke became chairman of the Federal Reserve two years ago,” USA Today’s Donna Leinwand told the crowd at the National Press Club, “the S&P index has declined 35 percent, unemployment rose to 7.6 percent, the highest rate since 1992, and the economy has sunk into a deep recession.”

Ha.  Ha.  Ha.

How droll.

History will no doubt judge Bernanke as the man left holding the bag when maestro Alan Greenspan left the Fed. But the economic collapse seems to have had a salutary effect on Bernanke: The academic known for his bland answers and brown socks has been liberated in both word and deed. This student of the Great Depression has taken extreme and unprecedented actions to avert a modern-day sequel, and he’s taken the Fed chairman’s lexicon well beyond basis points and LIBOR and M1 and M2.

Ouch.  That’s gonna leave a mark.

But Dana goes on to mumble about nationalization

President Obama over the weekend said a “good argument” could be made for Sweden’s temporary nationalization of banks. And no less a free-market authority than Greenspan, in an interview with the Financial Times this week, said “it may be necessary to temporarily nationalize some banks,” calling this the “least bad solution” to the financial crisis.

When Bernanke was asked at lunch about his predecessor’s sentiments, he voiced no opposition to the idea. While discouraging government ownership of banks “for a protracted period,” he offered no such objection to short-term nationalization. “Whatever actions may need to be taken, at one point or another, I think there’s a very strong commitment, on the part of the administration, to try to return banks or keep banks private or return them to private hands as quickly as possible,” he said.

Well isn’t that interesting.

Mønti Pythøn ik den Hølie Gräilen
Røtern nik Akten Di
Alsø wik
Alsø alsø wik
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
See the løveli lakes
The wøndërful telephøne system
And mäni interesting furry animals
The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional.
Including the majestik møøse
A Møøse once bit my sister…
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…

We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor’s Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG
Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and “O” Level Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER

The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.

The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.


Skip to comment form

    • dennis on February 19, 2009 at 14:42

    whatever it was. Now in about a half an hour, when the caffeine takes effect, we’ll see if my response changes.

  1. surreal cat this morning.

    Don’t the tax payers already own some banks and car companies? I was very disappointed that I did not get some nice art or office furniture.

    I grew up in a “plant town” (GM) and always aspired to escape the local culture but if GM closes plants I bet they will be in Canada not the US and all the people I grew up with will suffer. My area had traditionally high unemployment in good times.

    So. We’re fucked. I am going to make veal for dinner any good recipes? I figure in a year I might be boiling my shoes for chow so I might as well enjoy life now.

  2. … I could hear such news and laugh out loud at the same time.

    Kudos.  This is classic Stars Hollow, imo.  Still have a big grin on my face.

    • Edger on February 19, 2009 at 17:44

    Now I know why.

  3. Thank you.

    Now, here’s a little song to go along with the drinks!


  4. LøL!  I love the Møøse play. Good that you posted it again – I missed it the first time around.  

    Love the øøøøøs and wiks too! also!  

  5. …are divinely happy to announce that order has been restored.  The  Chief Executive Sackers (CES’s)have been asigned by the Lord High Chancellor of the Holy Corps to serve with omipotent and total authority as Bored Members of his Exellency’s Ministry of the Exchecker, and will govern thereby in perpetuity, without interference or comment, forever and ever.  And, No! You may not go to Sweden, not now, not ever.  And just shut up about the cute furry animals.

    • dkmich on February 20, 2009 at 00:20


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