Turkey in Chief

(11 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Turkeys have played a propaganda role throughout the glorious Bush years.

Who of us could forget the time when Commander Guy flew unannounced to Iraq for a photo-op as he served plastic turkey to U.S. troops?

Or the year that the turkey about to be pardoned went searching for Osama bin Laden in The Decider’s super secret location? I’m guessing that bird didn’t survive long in its enhanced captivity.

Now with Thanksgiving a week away, it is time again for the White House turkey to hand out the annual pardons… er, something like that.

And just like the past seven years, the White House is asking people to vote for which two turkeys will be pardoned. The choices for this year’s pair of turkeys all have pretty boring names:

  • Popcorn & Cranberry
  • Yam & Jam
  • Dawn & Early Light
  • Roost & Run
  • Pumpkin & Pecan
  • Apple & Cider

We can do better than that!

What would be some better names for the two turkeys to be pardoned by George W. Bush this Thanksgiving?


Hat tip Whatever It Is, I’m Against It blog.



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  1. Good Doggy!

  2. … Doctor and Pepper?  Or maybe Heckova and Job?

    • Edger on November 21, 2008 at 03:48

    If he tried to do something about getting Schapelle Corby pardoned, I might even think he was human. Maybe sanction Indonesia?

  3. The tradition of `turkey pardoning’ in the U.S. is a wonderful allegory for New Racism. Every year since 1947, the National Turkey Federation presents the U.S. President with a turkey for Thanksgiving. Every year, in a show of ceremonial magnanimity, the President spares that particular bird (and eats another one). After receiving the presidential pardon, the Chosen One is sent to Frying Pan Park in Virginia to live out its natural life. The rest of the 50 million turkeys raised for Thanksgiving are slaughtered and eaten on Thanksgiving Day. ConAgra Foods, the company that has won the Presidential Turkey contract, says it trains the lucky birds to be sociable, to interact with dignitaries, school children and the press. (Soon they’ll even speak English!)

    That’s how New Racism in the corporate era works. A few carefully bred turkeys — the local elites of various countries, a community of wealthy immigrants, investment bankers, the occasional Colin Powell, or Condoleezza Rice, some singers, some writers (like myself) — are given absolution and a pass to Frying Pan Park. The remaining millions lose their jobs, are evicted from their homes, have their water and electricity connections cut, and die of AIDS. Basically they’re for the pot. But the Fortunate Fowls in Frying Pan Park are doing fine. Some of them even work for the IMF and the WTO — so who can accuse those organisations of being anti-turkey? Some serve as board members on the Turkey Choosing Committee — so who can say that turkeys are against Thanksgiving? They participate in it! Who can say the poor are anti- corporate globalisation? There’s a stampede to get into Frying Pan

    Park. So what if most perish on the way?

    Arundhati Roy

    • Robyn on November 21, 2008 at 04:43
  4. How about “Impeachment” and “The Hague?”

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