I apologize, but as soon as I conclude writing this diary I’m going to walk down the block and set my neighbor Jill on fire.
She’s in her her mid-to-late 50’s, is a lovely, smart women who has bought birthday and holiday gifts for both of my children (has even cared for our dog when she got sick) but by the definition of Michelle Bachman, representative from Minnesota in this video…
…poor Jill is an un-American, liberal leftist… and given that she’s acted on these views by protesting and writing letters espousing her views… she has, essentially, committed treason and therefore must die.
Its truly unfortunate, seeing as there are many, many of my close friends who I’m also going to have to murder out of a sense of patriotism.
My next door neighbors Ben and Kara… Greg and Susan across the sidewalk… Marianne and Jordan, and possibly their eight year-old son Cameron, who I’m quite sure I saw once carrying a sign that said “America Can Do Better” at an anti-Iraq war last summer.
Its a shame Cameron is never going to get to go to high school or college, get a driver’s license or fall in love, but if its possible for a leftist, America-hating, liberal like Barack Obama to rise to within eighteen days of being the President, isn’t it my duty to snuff out Cameron, who has already shown the very same tendencies at such a young age.
I’ll probably shoot him.
My wife Holly, who has given money to the ACLU will probably have to go and if I’m honest with myself… there is a suicide at the end of this all.
Poison?
Knife?
Hard to say.
Because if Michelle Bachman defines Americanism, then at this moment, as I sit here seething, my fingers hammering the keyboard, I HATE AMERICA more than any soul that has been a citizen of these fifty states.
Its was nice knowing you.
What follows I do…
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But after you kill this dozen or so people, if by some chance you don’t completely do yourself in, you’re probably going to need a very good, prototypically “unamerican” lawyer. That would be me. Your defense can be either that you are as f*cking crazy as Bachman and are not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect OR the defense of necessity and justification, that you had to kill these people to preserve even more Amurrican lives. I vote for #1, but the choice is, of course, yours.
Personally, I liked the famous defenses based on watching too much tv, drinking too much diet soda, or adverse drug reactions from aspirin better, but they don’t seem to fit in your case. That’s too bad, really. You use the
armydefenses you have.Maybe you can get someone hear to live blog your trial. Just saying. It’s sure to eclipse OJ’s #1 on Court TV.
Do you want instructions on how to wire the retainer?
Could Michelle and Sarah be twins separated at birth?????
Here’s Michelle talking about being a “fool for Christ” at one of our local mega churches. How’s that working out for you Michelle?
That rant I wrote up at 2 am a couple days ago, now this Bachmann cretin, I’m too wound up to sleep….again….
The GOP is taking a toll on my health, dammit!
to the TeeVee. For the right price you too can buy your very own “public” perception.
http://www.scl.cc/home.php