Campaign Analysis From a REAL American

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Everyone and their uncle seems to be puttin’ up one of those fancy color-coded electoral maps lately, and I’m seeing a trend in a lot of them.  They’re BIASED!!!  The liberal polling elite are falling all over themselves to see who can show the biggest lead for Mr. Socialism.  But one American hero is brave enough to put out a patriotic electoral map that shows what is REALLY happening in this race.  That patriot is Bill O’Reilly of the Fox News Channel.  

Here is why Bill O’Reilly’s Electoral Map is better than all the others:

That’s right!!!  John McCain is winning this election 189-183, and Bill O’Reilly isn’t afraid to say it!  

Rather than rely on the plague of liberal polls put out lately, O’Reilly has the luxury of going right to the horse’s … how does that saying go?  Well, it’s not important now.  What is important is that Fox has teamed with Rasmussen Reports to do swing state polling leading up to the election.

Look at the trend in Michigan over the last 6 polls taken by Fox/Rasmussen:

July 10 Obama 47, McCain 39
Aug 7 Obama 47, McCain 40
Sept 10 Obama 51, McCain 46
Sept 21 Obama 51, McCain 44
Oct 8 Obama 56, McCain 40
Oct 28 Obama 53, McCain 43

O’Reilly understands what these polls mean — he lists Michigan as a “toss-up” state.  Other so-called pollsters have listed Michigan as “lean Obama” but I can’t understand why.  We’re puttin’ everything we got into winning in Michigan and you can see by the recent polls that it’s payin’ off!

Now look at the trend in North Carolina over the last 6 polls taken by Fox/Rasmussen:

Sept 30 Obama 50, McCain 47
Oct 9 Obama 49, McCain 48
Oct 12 Obama 48, McCain 48
Oct 19 Obama 51, McCain 48
Oct 23 McCain 50, Obama 48
Oct 26 McCain 49, Obama 48

Again, only Bill O’Reilly can study these numbers and decipher the intricacies embedded in these polls.  He lists North Carolina as a “McCain” state.  It looks plenty safe to me and I doubt we’ll bother to campaign there anymore.  Just knowin’ that somebody as smart as Bill O’Reilly says we’re going to win gives me all the confidence I need.  

You may also have heard (about a million times) that no Republican has won the Presidency without winning Ohio.  O’Reilly still has Ohio listed as a toss-up state.  But I’m not worried one bit.  Let me tell you how we’re going to win Ohio.  No, wait . . . let me SHOW you how we’re going to win Ohio:

That’s just a regular Joe (possibly a plumber) from Ohio who knows what he doesn’t want as President.  And he isn’t one bit afraid of the liberal Muslim elite in this country tryin’ to get one of their own elected instead of letting one of us win (again).  This guy, as is obvious from his sign, is a true patriotic Ohioian.  Let’s hope for America’s sake there are plenty more where he came from.

And so, no matter what buddydrama keeps sayin’ in his essays (like this one and this one), the race is not over!  Although it never hurts to have a backup plan.


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  1. This race is in the bag.  A really nice bag too, maybe a Gucci.

  2. Caribou Barbie, to translate your comment from this afternoon:

    and Palin said this, and I’ll read it to you verbatim according to an ABC transcript:

    Absolutely not.  I think that if I were to give up and wave a white flag of surrender, I think that some of the political shots that we’ve taken – that that would bring this whole – and I’m not doing this for naught.”

    And that’s a direct quote from Sarah Palin.

    I know those nasty dems over at Agent Orange made fun of this, pretending they didn’t understand your meaning just because the words are gibberish.  But, um, what did you mean?  Because that simply IS gibberish, and, um, makes no sense.

  3. Hmmm.  Such a double negative bespeaks the infiltration of the Spanish tongue into Alaska speak.  Say it ain’t so, Caribou Barbie, say it ain’t so.  Maybe there needs to be legislation about English only.  Just saying.

    Oh, and by the way, Babelfish translates this comment into Spanish:

    Hmmm. Una negativa tan doble anuncia la infiltración de la lengüeta española en Alaska habla. Dígala ain’t así pues, caribú Barbie, lo dice ain’t tan. Necesita quizá ser legislación sobre inglés solamente. Apenas diciendo.

    That, if you’ll pardon me, is really a riot.

  4. did you hear that today Obama admitted he was a secret communist?

    • Robyn on October 30, 2008 at 03:23

  5. I just wanted to say…I had noted that the first mention in of you in the press was going to see Ivana Trump.  A few years away from the beauty pageants and the success of finally getting through school.  For what it’s worth, CB, I think that getting through all those schools does show character.  In conflict with itself, but character nonetheless, and of a sort no less worthy than consistency.  So I picture you there, Caribou Barbie, in jeans and smelling like fish (it said in the article) going to meet the glamorous Ivana, who surely was stunned by the stix.   And I wondered…when you got all those clothes, when a whole nation started talking about what you look like (and it was sexist as hell, but we hate your politics, so deal)…was it, for a couple of hours, 22 again?  Beyond ambition, beyond hope for power, to be glamorous in a way some girl from Wassila never gets to be?  We’re both 44 Caribou.  I can feel death snuffling my neck already.  The magic of fine clothing, of dream, of desire and adulation…was it worth it?  Just, right then, for itself?  Or was that moment of princesshood more bittersweet, it’s expedient demands stripping the past like photons off a star?  

  6. Thanks Mr. HornedBeak.

    I’m just pleased as punch that all you good folks at Docudharma are so open-minded to the truth!  

  7. aren’t you in actuality Caribou the Footnote? I think your ‘naught’ is just that a footnote.

  8. Here is Hannity’s electoral map, note the difference between it and that wishy washy O’Reilly moderate!


  9. and graduated at bottom of his class!

  10. but Jesus’ General had one almost as good:

    Sarah Palin =  “Bible Spice”

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