WORST rock songs of all time

Well, I have just had a heated debate.  The important topic was WORST rock ‘n roll song of all time.  The first issue was deciding what could be consider rock and what could not.  Schmaltz is not rock by definition, so no Carpenters songs, no Capt. & Tennile–that means no Muskrat Love.  We are not going there.  If there is no electric guitar, it is probably not rock ‘n roll.

So I won’t bore you with our desideratum.  That’s your part, below if you wish.

But here is the choice.  Imagine a song that manages to be both pompous (rock star strut), stupid, ugly and demeaning all at the same time.  A true harbinger for the death of rock ‘n roll.  Ladies and Gentlemen, submitted for your consideration as the worst rock ‘n roll song of all time, “What’s Your Name” by Lynyrd Skynyrd:

Well, its 8 o’clock in Boise, Idaho

I’ll find my limo driver

Mister, take us to the show

I done made some plans for later on tonight

I’ll find a little queen

And I know I can treat her right.


What’s your name, little girl?

What’s your name?

Shootin’ you straight, little girl?

Won’t you do the same?.

Back at the hotel

Lord we got such a mess

It seems that one of the crew

Had a go with one of the guests, oh yes

Well, the police said we can’t drink in the bar

What a shame

Won’t you come upstairs girl

And have a drink of champagne

What’s your name, little girl?

What’s your name?

Shootin’ you straight, little girl?

For there ain’t no shame.

[chorus 2x]

9 o’clock the next day

And I’m ready to go

I got six hundred miles to ride

To do one more show, oh no

Can I get you a taxi home

It sure was grand

When I come back here next year

I wanna see you again

What was your name, little girl?

What’s your name?

Shootin’ you straight, little girl?

Well there ain’t no shame

What was your name, little girl?

What’s your name?

Shootin’ you straight, little girl?

Won’t you do the same?


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    • robodd on July 25, 2008 at 6:16 am
    • Robyn on July 25, 2008 at 6:21 am

  1. a nasty song…and I think they didn’t even write it but took credit for it until sued.

    speaking of Lynyrd Skynyrd….Sweet Home Alabama. Don’t you dare criticize our bigoted ways! We’re coming to get you! In our airplane! We’re kinda stoned though…aaaaaaaaaa!!!!

  2. It’s the only explanation!

    • RUKind on July 25, 2008 at 10:01 am

    I may be off on the spelling. A lot of Bobby tunes come to mind. Money Honey for the obscurity of it all.

    • Mu on July 25, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    The sound of nails-on-a-chalkboard turns into babbling brooks and the cooing of doves when put next to these, ahem, “voices” that screech and claw their way through, ahem, song-after-horrid-song like so many throats, ripped to shreds by the jagged edges of broken Boone’s Farm bottles, attempting to tear limbs off of rabid hyenas — only not quite so melodic.

    Drop discs, thousands and thousands of them, of “Heart’s Greatest Hits” on Taliban- and al Qaeda-infested areas of Eastern Afghanistan and Northwestern Pakistan and, I promise you, within 24 hours the bad guys will come out of their mountain hideouts, screaming and holding their hands to their ears, crying for mercy and medical treatment.  For the young ones who just got caught-up in these horrid organizations, we will show them mercy.  For the officers and big-wigs, we should throw them back into their caves, along with iPods loaded to the gills with . . . wait for it, wait for it . . . Foreigner, then seal-up such caves.  Sometimes, I admit, I can be pro-torture.

    Mu . . .

    • dennis on July 25, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    on a very simple, one-plank ticket, During the first year of my administration there would be a total ban on the playing of “Stairway to Heaven” in any public space and on all radio frequencies assigned by the state.

    Year 2, “Hotel California”

    Year 3, “Piano Man”

    Year 4. A national referendum, leaving it up to the voting masses (though in my presidential magnificence, I would hint that a year without “Aqualung” would be almost as nice as re-election.)

  3. the meter and words can be translated into Español,

    Como se llama, Muchachita?

    Como se llama?

    or more formally,

    Como te llama, Muchachita?

    Como te llama?

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