Right Wing Haiku

You know what’s missing on the Intertubes?  (well, if you read my title the cat is already out of the bag)  

Haiku written for the right wing!  

For some inexplicable reason the right has not yet embraced this literary form.  Maybe that’s because right-wingers can’t use the left half of their brains.  Or is it the right half?  OK, they generally don’t use either half.  So being a generous soul, I’m offering some haiku written from a right-wing perspective to get them started.

The surge is working

we must remain in Iraq

repeat until duped

“Democrat Party”

Karl Rove had to drop the “ic”

to fit in haiku

We worship Reagan

waiting for his successor

McCain? not so much

The words of Jesus

made clear in the holy scripture:

No stem cell research!

Mexico invades

they mow our lawns for a song

not sung in English

Shakespeare was a hack!

Limbaugh is our modern bard

Dittoheads rejoice!

The left taxes us

taking our trust fund money

Viagra ain’t cheap

Brave Republicans

protecting us with torture

Justified?  Who cares?

where is your flag pin?

do you hate America?

must be a hippie

Fox News programming:

hosts yell louder than their guests

to avoid bias

McCain leads his flock

deep into the Bush pasture

watch out for cowpies

Damn!  ideas gone

hard to write right wing haiku

devoid of substance

Please feel free to contribute your own ideas.  

20 comments

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  1. Like this diary?

    gratuities are welcome

    or flame my satire

  2. demopublic memes

    lead parties to the center

    and cycles repeat

    new captains, old guards

    trick the toy soldiers with plans

    of gates not crashed

    new kitchen sink math

    installs primary numbers

    divides by zero

    —-

    hope and change must yield

    to queens of royal bloodlines

    when it is her time

  3. tax rebate for you

    spend more so we can grow rich

    enjoy your new debt

  4. Lefty pinkos want

    to destroy our way of life,

    Socialism! AAAAAHHHHH!

  5. in my dKos thread about writing a right-wing haiku:

    it is way too hard

    thinking like a right winger

    oxymorons rule

    so I offered this advice:

    it is not that hard

    think morality and truth

    write the opposite

    • H2D on March 12, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    Even the highest

    ku, is no excuse to do

    what I did just do

    how much wood could a

    woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck

    would dare Chuck Norris?

    Okay, I’ll stop now…

    🙂

  6. Pennsylvania republican

    McCain assured

    votes Hillary

    —-

    Ferraro unbound

    resigned but unfired

    justice denied

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