McDonald’s To Honor McCain With New Sandwich

Washington, D.C.  — McDonald’s has decided to honor the straight talking senator from Arizona with a new mouth watering sandwich that will go straight to your lips, The McSame! Noting that Republican presidential candidate John McCain has the same kind of maverick  branding often associated with the world’s leading burger chain, the brand tie in was  a match made in dead cow heaven.

“Customers continue to tell us that they want the exact same burger served the exact same way in all our exactly the same restaurants,” said Bonnie Clinsdine, Vice President/GeneralManager of the McDonald’s International. “Since McCain is offering the exact same presidency of the last eight years, we knew the McSame sandwich would appeal to our clientele.”

While basically just a Big Mac, the McSame offers a new layer of red, red meat shipped directly from the ranches outside of Tehran. It also features onions from Somalia and non-organic lettuce shipped semi-directly by slow boats from Indonesia.

“We are also in talks with Venezuela to produce our buns,” add Clinsdine. “If their buns aren’t brown enough, there is always Ecuador.”

Customers reactions so far have been mixed.

“To tell you the truth, I have really lost a taste for these things,” said unemployed local trucker John Golkin. “I basically came in for the commerative McSame cup, after hearing Rush talk it up. Of course, I couldn’t afford to get it and to super-size, so I just went with my gut.”

Area Slow Food activist Jeremy Norfair complained that McDonald’s was just selling the exact same sandwich they had always sold, except with a new face.

“Sure, it says McSame, but that is the same promotional item they have been pawning off on customers for the last eight years,” commented Norfair, watching the people devour the red, red meat of the McSame. “First it was the Freedom Burger, then it was Burger Accomplished. Of course it all started with, least we forget, the 9-11 Burger. I always thought it was in bad taste, but Americans’ seem to be buying it. Come on people, it’s the same hamburger! It’s even in the name!”

While Norfair questioned the repetitive nature of a hamburger whose previous incarnations were utter failures, there were also some who did not like the ever so slight new changes to the McSame.

“I am not sure I can quite put my finger on it, or nor would I,” disgruntled patron Sheila Eliam said while trying to down the same meat she has been eating for the last eight years. “While the extra meat appeals to me, I am not so sure about this new secret sauce.”

“Ah yes, the new secret sauce,” Clinsdine said in response to Eliam’s comments. “It’s basically the same one we have been using since 2000, except we added a streak of something crazy. Very, very crazy. How else can we flavor all that red meat? But don’t worry America! The McSame is still the same red, red meat you have enjoyed the last 8 years!”


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    • pfiore8 on March 27, 2008 at 12:55 am

    and let’s be honest, sometimes you need a MacDonald french fries fix. but, sadly, you’ve killed that option for me…

    hey pinche… are you available tomorrow around 8:30ish? and do you have any place in mind, either mid town or somewhere convenient to a subway so i can find my way back to grand central???

    is anybody here?

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