I am hereby forming a new organization: MOD.
Because I can.
By saying so.
If not now, when?
If not here, where?
Any Mutant or non-Mutant that says so. To join the MODs all you have to do is raise your right hand (or your left, or skip this part all together or….do whatever the hell you want) And say three times….. (Count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. ….or not, WTF do you care?) ……..whatever the hell you feel like saying. We are mutants dammit, we don’t need no stinking badgers.
But you do get a nifty sporan for every pint of bodily fluid you donate.
You have now officially joined the MODs. Our motto? Fuck Mottos. Our creed? “I swear to at some point in my life, look up the word creed and find out what the hell a creed is.” Our vow? No rest for the weird, no peace for the complacent, no blood for The Machine. We are here to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. Our other motto? “We may not be able to lick City Hall, but we can give it a damn good fondling!” If you enjoyed joining the MODs, feel free to quit and do it again.
We (by which I mean me and ……….whoever) are on a top-secret sacred mission for a God that has yet to exist. I urge you to spread the news of our secret mission profligately and profusely. We are out to change the world. Because man does that diaper stink. What we can’t change, we will disrupt, what we can’t disrupt we will mock. What we can’t mock……doesn’t exist.
One of our Anthems
We are the rebellious maladjusted and under medicated children of the Illuminati….and we are in a race with evolution.
We don’t howl at the moon, we howl with it.
In a world bent on self destruction, we are the few and the proud who stand up (when we can) and say “NO.” Or as is more often the case…since we are by and large sarcastic motherfuckers…”Yeah, Right!” Or. “You have GOT to be joking you sick sons of bitches.” Or something similar. You kow, generally along those lines. It’s more of a guideline, really.
We are the people who care more about life than about money. About Peace more than Profit. We think people are more important than corporate persons. We bend no knee, tug no forelock and very rarely redeem mail in rebate coupons. We could care less about how big your McMansion is, unless we can crash there. Nice tie, buddy! (snicker) Don’t worry your precious wallet though, we are not here to shake you down….we are here to shake you up.
We are passive aggressive….without the passive part. And we are growing like the fungus in the walls of the shoddily constructed Baghdad Embassy. We ARE out to get you. Though we will have no idea what to do with your sorry whitebread asses when we do.
(though probably the worst we will do is get you drunk and ditch you in a “bad neighborhood”)
We don’t want what you have, we want what you don’t have….and what you won’t let us have.
A healthy planet.
Happy Children Of All Ages.
We say to you now, over these 50,000 Pixel of Power, lay down your fears and hatreds and join us. You have nothing to lose but your chains.
And that ridiculous haircut.
The die is cast, both your and our fates are sealed. We are coming.
Now all we need is a devastatingly clever, unstoppable plan to conquer the world and the people, money, and technology to carry it out. I did my part, I’ll leave that to youse guys.
Oh and T-shirts, we will need cool T-shirts.