Ain’t Gonna Strain my Brain, Jane

So I figured, I don’t know all that much about any one particular thing, so I can’t call myself an expert as a citizen journalist.  You know, the ones who have memorized all the applicable laws and regulations, analyzed every fact meticulously and also have the unfathomable ability at the same time to communicate to others this information along with a heaping helping of ethical and moral and gold standard human value.

Well I call them citizen journalists, and have written about them many times.  They are my heroes for sure.

So I decided instead I will write editorials!  Well, just for tonight, ’cause I don’t wanna strain my brain, Jane.

Even good editorials are just editorials, opinions.  The great ones manage to transcend opinion and reach the hallowed land of brilliant thinking, but I’ll bet that always happened by accident!

So here’s why I ain’t gonna strain my brain, Jane.

First of all, it’s the vernal equinox, happy Spring to all!  And there’s almost a full moon out tonight here in Astoria, NY and I can see it glowing through the clouds.

Oh, here’s some facts about the strange machinations of the calendar and science kinds of things about Easter and the upcoming full moon and such:

The calculations for the date of Easter are somewhat complicated. In the Western Church, Easter has not fallen on the earliest of the 35 possible dates, March 22, since 1818, and will not do so again until 2285. It will, however, fall on March 23 in 2008, but will not do so again until 2160. Easter last fell on the latest possible date, April 25, in 1943 and will next fall on that date in 2038. However, it will fall on April 24, just one day before this latest possible date, in 2011.

The cycle of Easter dates repeats after exactly 5,700,000 years, with April 19 being the most common date, happening 220,400 times, or 3.9% compared to a mean for all dates of 162,857 times, or 2.9%.

I don’t really know or care what any of that means, because this is an editorial!  So as our zen dictator would say:  “neener neener neener.”

(Now I would hat tip (“h/t”) ek hornbeck for the zen dictator part but I’m not sure I am correct about that.  I would guess RiaD would know, as she is Dharmaniac Historian in my eyes.)

Ok, so I’ve set the editorial stage with all this frou-fraw about mystical kind of astrological and/or astronomical stuff.

Here’s the meat of the editorial, as I like to call it.

Fuck McCain and Obama and Clinton.  They are not important.

This is a radical notion!

They are distractions.  They are to be acknowledged, dealt with and given little further attention other than casual monitoring as one would do for the weather.

Pretty simple for this Contributing Editor (yes, I have a title!  neener).

I want a Dem president in 2008.  I would prefer Obama but I would easily be able to vote for Hillary.  I also want as many Dems in Congress as possible and will support those I feel particularly strongly about.

I’m aware the lamestream media (h/t lasthorseman) will not cover the presidential race either fairly or intelligently or ethically or any other “-ly” you can think of.

If I can help defeat the lamestream media I will gladly add my voice.  But it is a fact they are not competent to act for the public weal (h/t alma, only she knows why …).

So that pretty much covers it for me.  I won’t allow these bozos and the folk who write about them to distract me from what’s really going on in this country.

And from what I read here at Docudharma the past couple days, this site is in no danger of falling for that con game either.  Kudos to you all.  Bravo.

So in conclusion (the “meat” part is over now), I would say that as we are in wild astrological and astronomical and general climatological times now, we should not bother ourselves with bullshit.

And in further conclusion (yes, this is allowed in editorials … and as I have credentials, I can claim this!), I think that whole ripple philosophy is very helpful in avoiding the shiny distractions of our truly fucked up culture.

Ok, that’s all the conclusions.  Happy Spring!


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  1. …. ha!  Easy as pie!

    Eat your heart out, New York Times.

    • kj on March 21, 2008 at 02:44

    this editorial and highly rec that it be read while listening to this gem, posted by nocatz in the latest pony party.

    • kj on March 21, 2008 at 02:50

    neener!  it is unofficial and all that, no perks or anything, no bennies or paycheck, no early notice of stock prices, no hot tubs, either, now that i think about it, but it suits, and OTB gave it to me, and it’s something about being a link poster. i think everyone else has the same capability, and some even know how to post links without all the garbage but with cool titles instead. but. i. can. post. links.  and you know, that’s all i really have to say.

    shhh!  yes, i’m sitting down now!  what?  you had something important to say?  sure, right.  go ahead. the floor is all yours.

  2. Can you tell me the next time Easter will fall on my birthday, March 31st?  Which is also Al Gore’s birthday BTW.

  3. You are editorialist extraordinaire!  And thanks for helping

    us avoid the shiny distractions  😉  (oh look, a chicken)

  4. (just filling in for Edger while he is otherwise detained)

  5. npk, I think I love you!  And I’m straight…

    You said it all.  The fact that we prefer different candidates takes nothing away from the total relevance of this diary/essay/post.

    I can’t believe you wrote this.  You have freed me to go and clean my kitchen…to do the laundry…to play with my grandchildren…to read a book.

    Thank you so much!


  6. That’s why about all I write are editorials.

    You can say any damn thing you want.

    Even ….neener.

  7. so much nicer than a diatorial.

    Truly, this place is a slice of sanity nestled somewhere in the blogoshpere between DailyObama and MyHRC.

  8. And here I was arguing that writing in the ironic form does not work in a blog.

    I actually love being wrong!

  9. I’m with you.

    However, I can think of some ways in which the media have and will continue to cover the presidential race that end in “-ly”

    – exploitively

    – haphazardly

    – non-professionally

    – deceptively

    – misleadingly

    I always think of these type of so-called reporting as soemthing crafted to feed red meat to those craving it. In other words, feeding the base – those who watch politics for the soap opera effect, people who view The National Review as their kind of National Enquirer and People Magazine.

    I’d like to add that, for the vast majority of voters (Democrats, Republicans and everyone who claims to be independent), this bickering will fade by the summertime. Republicans say they don’t like McCain, but most will come out to support him once the election arrives. The interparty struggles between hyperpartisan Clinton and Obama voters will fade once one of them is nominated, and we’ll come together (no matter what the media narrative tries to shove down our throats) because we all want to see a Democrat – either of these fine Democrats – take office instead of a Republican.

    The Democrats have both a curse and a blessing at the moment: the media is whipping the notion of a hotly contested convention into some terrific whipping cream. We’re covered in it. I don’t buy it – I think one of these candidates will wrap it up prior to the election. But, even if the nominee is decided behind closed doors in Denver, I’m confident we’ll have a great future President. The media will try to exploit the tension of the supporters of the candidate who doesn’t get the nomination, but the “loser” candidate will act gracefully and insist on supporting the nominee.

    The blessing part is here: the only media McCain is getting until we get a nominee is when he makes a ridiculous gaffe. And, he’s doing a lot of it. This means the general undecided public is getting more excitement and hope looking at the Democrats, and becoming more bored/skeptical/turned off at the Republican nominee. You can’t buy that kind of free PR.

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