Free Beer and Everybody Gets Laid

(Xposted at DK, as a cheap PR tactic)

This Dinette set could be yours!


A full set of Encyclopedia Brittanica!

But don’t order yet! We will also send you six steak knives!

How about not going down in history as abetting a war crime and ethnic cleansing?

How about keeping your frikking jobs?

Hey Congress….HEY AMERICA!!!

What is it going to take?

Really….what can WE do to help? What is it going to take to stop the killing? How can we who, ya know …..CARE…. about all the frikkin DEAD PEOPLE convince you to stop this shit?

Yes, yes, I know….this is a repetitive exercise, it has been diaried before. We have all said the same things, brought up the same points, Yelled the same invective time and time again. It is tiresome and tiring and there really is nothing NEW to say….The only problem is….PEOPLE ARE STILL DYING!

In droves.

While you twiddle your thumbs and kiss Bush’s ass.

So….what will it take? You take money from lobbyists, from the MIC….how bout if we double it? Really, we are good for the dough.

Because when it comes down to it, there aren’t that many of you to bribe! Just some Bush Dogs and the few Republicans is all it will take to END THE WAR. There are a BUNCH of good Dem Congressfolk and Senators who are just as pissed and impatient as we are, it is really just a few of you that are holding up all the “The War Is Over!” parties ….and all the praise that could be yours, if you just come out and state publicly that YOU are the Hero who is going to change h/is/er vote and be The One to End The War.

We can make this happen, just let us know your price.

We consider it a small price to pay.

For you Democrats…if it is your jobs you are worried about, how about this….we will donate to your campaign and even work to get you re-elected…ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STOP THE WAR….and I guarantee you will have folks falling all over you to thank you and we will even try to get your names in the history books and shit.

We have tried appealing to logic, compassion, financial considerations, political realities, the polling data….you name it, we have tried to use it to get you to stop the occupation. So far….no luck. So let’s try appealing to your base instincts.

Really, I mean it, we can do this.

All YOU have to do is not fund the war and I promise….Free Beer and Everybody Gets Laid.

Call me.


Skip to comment form

  1. Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Did I step on anybody?

  2. In a bear can

  3. I can’t see my tip jar….and I think I put up two of them!

    Someone delete one for me ok?

    • robodd on September 14, 2007 at 21:04

    It might work, but I don’t think they’ll take you at your word.  Perhaps we could set up a table and tents outside the house of congress, with actual beer and whores readily available.  I doubt the blue dogs could resist.

  4. so what’s a million dead iraqis, give or take?

    < /tasteless sarcasm >

    so very many layers to this onion of outrage: the deaths. the cost. the apparent intractibility. and not least, the fact that the democrats just don’t fucking get how very badly so many americans are just grinding their teeth in wait for a sign of some spine. some action. based on principle.

    perfect tag, buhdy. fuck this shit.

  5. the T-shirts!

    • MO Blue on September 14, 2007 at 21:19

    no one is better on Iraq than my Representative Lacy Clay (MO). He makes me proud with each and every vote he casts on Iraq.

    My new Senator, Claire McCaskill, OTOH makes me ashamed that I contributed to her campaign and worked to get her elected.

    Up until this year, I had the very, very small comfort of knowing that no one that I voted for was responsible for getting us into the debacle of Iraq. Now, since I helped elect Senator McCaskill and other Dems who are now giving Bush a blank check, I feel that I share more of the blame for us staying in Iraq for the foreseeable future.

    • snud on September 14, 2007 at 21:22

    for Dick and Dubya? Like one-way tickets to Gitmo?

    I hear it’s lovely down there this time of year.

    • Caneel on September 14, 2007 at 22:44

    what their going prices are.

    I mean, maybe a beer and getting laid is a bit too, oh, common.

    It could take champagne and pricey call girls.

    • documel on September 15, 2007 at 01:02

    I love it when the diarist thinks long and hard and drinks beer.

  6. I’ll rec it here! Your ability to move with truth between often warring segments planting optimism  and humanity is amazing and some how as intimidating as Armando’s aways legal truculence. I can only hope that somehow winding the path between you both will lead to at least a entertaining solution. 

  7. you gotta wonder if the Money is ever gonna decide that all these clowns in Congress are just too much trouble, buy them out and tell them to leave, or buy a new set to put in there. What would it take? I know:

    Another Terra Attack Like 9-11 !

    Meme: “They haven’t protected you!”
    Meme; “See, we should have done even more!”

    And the end result is more chaos and division.

    I think this time period is like Rome in 510 or so…

    I wonder what the last group of people who closed the last formal session of the Roman Senate felt like? “Oh yes, we’ll be back as soon as all these problems are cleared up.”

    End of Empire time, looks to me.

    • Zwoof on September 15, 2007 at 14:47

    Can’t you just see the portable sign out front.
    Lights blinking, flashing arrow pointing inside.
    Plastic letters, missing an “E”, replaced with a backwards “3”

    Damn, what a fine marketing plan it was.

Comments have been disabled.