It is definitely today. Or tomorrow. No, today is right. They think. Definitely, certainly, for like totally sure, dudes.
It, like, must be true, man. There are graphs!
There are really, really, hugely BIG colorful words! LOTS of Godly rapturey proofy words!
Best proof? Its a trending topic on twitter!
So when you hear the horns tonight, just crank that Marilyn Manson up to window rattling, turn your vibrators on high, and double toke the bong. Wear yourself out and sleep like a baby, because tomorrow we all be reborn!
60-70% of Americans: GONE. All their shit: STILL HERE.
Reborn, I tell you to the land of
milk and honey errr hops and buds! I so deserve this punishment sir, I’ve been naughty, naughty, naughty. Leave me behind. Twice if you need to. I’ve been a bad, bad girl. God, you’re the boss, and I just. don’t. listen. You can’t take me.
I deserve the utter hell:
No Faux News reporters, no televangelists, no Republicans, half the Democrats with them, no homophobes, no, well, no nothing that sucks, man. (Other than what you want sucked or to suck! And no one to tell you that’s wrong!)
IT WILL BE THE GARDEN OF EDEN ONCE AGAIN! Oooooops, sshhhhhh. It will be hell, I mean.